Siskoid's Blog of Geekery

Reign of the Supermen #410: Sir Kent

2012-01-28T08:40:00.002-04:00

Source: Superman vol.1 #86 (1954); Brave and the Bold vol.3 #10 (2008)
Type: The real deals (since retconned)It's not what it looks like! Though Superman could have gone back in time to hang with the Knights of the Round Table, this is actually a contemporary story. How? By the power of NATIONAL CLICHÉS, of course! Just as I'm sure 50s comics version of Canada would be full of igloos and Mounties, so is its England a country of knights and castles. At least, when Clark, Lois and Perry go to England to report on a dragon sighting (apparently leaving the Daily Planet in the capable hands of Jimmy Olsen), everyone they meet is wearing a suit of armor. Seems like the descendants of the original Knights of the Round Table (sounds like a genealogy con to me) are having a little Medieval fair, and are out looking for the dragon. Clark gets in good with the Knights and becomes, variably, Sir Clark or Sir Kent. He'll be on the trail with them, "reporting", and can't show his Super-face in England without arousing Lois' suspicions. So of course that's when the cover image happens! Sir Kent is broiled alive by the dragon, revealing the Superman within, right in front of Knightly witnesses! How does he get out of THIS one? Well first, there's a dragon to defeat, which Superman does. Or rather, it collapses, dead, in the museum to which it was drawn.
Yes, the surprise isn't that there's a live dragon running around the UK, it's that they already had a dead one in a natural history museum. Dragons are real and everyone knows it. Suck it, paleontology. So how DOES Superman get out of the looming "Superman Is Clark Kent" headline? Let's go back a couple pages to see how they made Clark some tight-fitting (and easy-melting) armor:
Ah yes, the wax dummy scheme. A classic. Superman steals the dummy and Lois immediately leaps to the conclusion that he must have been wearing it over his skin and costume, POSING as Sir Kent while the journalist hid like a little girl. Well, OF COURSE! And since it's Lois' idea, so easy to just laugh and say "yeah, you got me again Lois". She really doesn't want him to be Clark, does she?

Sir Kent Returns!
In Brave and the Bold volume 3 #10, Superman is whisked to the Middle Ages by Merlin and teams up with the Silent Knight. He gets a cool shield in the process.
Superman's got a sweet deal, secret identity-wise. Puts on glasses and nobody's the wiser. The Silent Knight not only hid his face, but NEVER SPOKE from fear of his voice being recognized! Now THAT'S realistic. So together they fight a frost dragon, and there's a fun bit where Superman covers the Silent Knight in heat vision to keep him warm even under the dragon's breath.

Doctor Who #67: The Warlords

2012-01-28T06:00:00.002-04:00

"I am cursed with the affliction of disbelief."TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 4 of The Crusade, a story that has been entirely lost. For these reviews, I've looked at a reconstruction on You-Tube (part 1, part 2, part 3). First aired Apr.17 1965.

IN THIS ONE... Ian is put to the ant torture, later helps Barbara escape El Akir's hareem, before rejoining the Doctor and Vicki, expelled from Richard's camp.

REVIEW: Sadly, The Crusade has to end at only four episodes, and does so in a bit of a rush. That is to say that the adventure subplots are well attended to (Barbara and Ian's jeopardies), but the fascinating historico-political story is not. Gone is Joanna - Richard goes back on his decision off-screen - and gone are Saladin and Saphadin - we don't even see their reaction to the King reneging on the marriage contract. I think you'll agree these were some of the best characters in the serial, and their unceremonious disappearance is a grave disappointment. No closure on poor William de Preaux' situation either. It's probably not coincidental that the high poetry of the language seems to evaporate in this final episode. It's there, but it's not as good because it doesn't focus on language as much, and has fewer speakers of interest. Leicester, that smug bully, comes closest (after Richard), but as a last-minute antagonist, he's just not on the same level. Otherwise, we have creepy El Akir and mad Ibrahim who puts on a rather broad accent.

Unsatisfying, yes, but only compared to the rest of the serial, and perhaps in part because we've lost the video. It's otherwise a well-made, if unsurprising, adventure episode. Ian's predicament puts him at the mercy of man-devouring ants, and isn't that his phobia (if we read The Web Planet correctly)? Hard to say if he feels more terror because of the few snap shots that survived. Ibrahim the horse thief, who becomes Ian's brother after the "Knight of Jaffa" escapes his crazy trap, is a right nutter, and a bizarre addition to the cast this late in the game. You never quite get a handle on him, and perhaps that's the point. Meanwhile, Barbara manages to escape El Akir's clutches and hides in his hareem, where Haroun's lost daughter Maimouna of course hides her. That another concubine betrays her later comes as no surprise, nor is Maimouna's tearful reunion with her family (historically, I suppose she would have been dishonored and disowned). Of more interest is the small speaking part held by a black woman, quite rare for the first, oh, 20 years of the show!

Ultimately, The Warlords feels like a throwback to Season 1 historicals in which the whole object of the story is to get back to the TARDIS and get the hell out of there, closure be damned! At least the characters get to show bravery and cleverness, especially Ian who escapes a trap through trickery, boosts Barbara out of a hareem, and confounds Leicester by asking for the right to execute the Doctor as a spy himself.

VERSIONS: The novelization, Doctor Who and the Crusaders, has a few deviations from the televised story in addition to its title. El Akir manages to whip Barbara a few times before she's rescued, for example, and plays Martian chess with Vicki during the initial TARDIS scene. A conversation between the Doctor and Ian about the dangers of changing history, and a few references to past adventures (not all of them from the show) are also included.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium - The video isn't the only thing that's lost. While it's a fairly good continuation of the serial, it never bounces back from losing Joanna, Sir William, Saladin and Saphadin.

STORY REWATCHABILITY: High - Despite the unsatisfying ending, this stands out as one of the best historical stories, literate and powerfully acted, with a good mix of adventure, drama and comedy. Too bad half of it is missing from the archives.

Kung Fu Fridays in February 2012

2012-01-27T06:05:00.001-04:00

Tonight, my KFF crew goes for an extreme change of pace with Norwegian Ninja, but February is already around the corner, and the next poster is out. The currently ubiquitous Nicholas Tse (he seems to be in everything, these days) is poster boy, heralding the following films to be shown at my home every Friday next month:

Iron Bodyguard - The 1973 Chang Cheh film proposes the director's usual brand of homo-eroticism and bloodshed, and it even advertises "male bonding" on the DVD case. It also says on there that Iron Bodyguard began the trend of real martial arts and furious action. Can it stand up to the hype?

Little Big Soldier - Jackie Chan stars in this recent comic adventure set in the Chinese Warlords period. It's a buddy movie too, with Leehom Wang playing Felix to Jackie's Oscar. Or perhaps the opposite.

The Stool Pigeon - How much betrayal can one person handle? Nicholas Tse can't very well be on the poster and not be in one of the films, in this case, on of those gritty crime tragedies Hong Kong is so good at.

The Avenging Eagle - Ti Lung actually won Asian Film Award for his role in this 1979 Shaw Brothers' wuxia epic. Looks to have some decent cinematography as well. Let the Clan warfare begin!

And that's what's on tap. Anyone excited?

Doctor Who #66: The Wheel of Fortune

2012-01-27T06:00:00.002-04:00

"There's something new in you, yet something older than the sky itself."TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 3 of The Crusade. First aired Apr.10 1965.

IN THIS ONE... Barbara is hidden by a stranger, but found and brought to El Akir. Ian gets is a fight with a thief in the desert. And the Doctor and Vicki fall victim to courtly intrigue.

REVIEW: This is an episode about strong, defiant women. A major chunk of the action is given to Barbara, on the run from El Akir, taken in by a kind stranger who's out to destroy the emir for killing his wife and son and enslaving one of his daughters. Through this thread, we see how harsh a world this is, especially TO women, as Haroun implores Barbara to kill both his second daughter and herself rather than be captured by El Akir's men. The great thing is that Barbara actually contemplates the knife while waiting to be discovered. To save young Saliya's life, Barbara comes out of hiding and allows herself to be grabbed instead. And now she faces torture.

And then there's Joanna who finds out about her arranged marriage to Saphadin and rebels against her brother. Marsh and Glover are incredibly well-matched actors, warring with words with passion and Shakespearean verve. It's easily the best scene in the episode if not the serial (if not the SEASON). Riveting stuff. The younger women don't fare as well, though in a show of girl power, Vicki reverts to being a girl, one under Joanna's protection. She reveals some abandonment issues, but remains a good sidekick for the Doctor (they've been matched since she arrived). Saliya, on the other hand, is completely in the dark about the fates of her family members, and one wonders how the naive young girl will be able to deal with the loss of her father, if indeed he is lost when El Akir's soldiers fell him.

And then there are the men. The Doctor has his humorous bits, the Chamberlain his comic foil, but shows he's just as comfortable in drama, his verbal sparring with Leicester competing with Richard and Joanna's as the episode's best. Ian camps out in the desert on Barbara's trail, and gets into a bit of exciting action on film. (I do think Ian's been separated from the other characters for too long in the past couple serials.) As for the Saracen leaders, they mirror the English Royals, but their arguments are much more subdued. Is there paranoia and jealousy between them as Saphadin is set to marry into the English royal family? As usual, the performances here are as restrained and subtle as the English side's are loud and boisterous. Certainly, they will cover all their bases, open to peace, but preparing for war. What they don't know is that Joanna is ready to spark a Holy War over her brother's decision to leave her in infidel hands. Hard to believe the political stuff is what's most engaging, but there it is.

REWATCHABILITY: High - Another excellent episode. Moral ambiguity, threat of torture, love, war and politics... And they call this a children's series!

The Problem with Story Points

2012-01-26T06:05:00.003-04:00

...and a possible house rule solution.

In many of my latest role-playing endeavors, the games have used some kind of Story Points mechanic (I even imposed optional Cinematic Points to a high-octane, John Woo-ish GURPS series). I think they work very well, especially when you're trying to emulate a cinematic genre (something I went into in the above linked post). However, I did hit a snag in my use of Story Points in the Doctor Who: Adventures in Time and Space (DWAITAS for intimates), one I'd like to fix before attempting a second series (which I really, really want to do).Here's the problem:
DWAITAS characters just have too many of them! Time Lords have 8 and Companions have 12. That's 20 in a 70s Doctor Who set-up, but groups are usually larger. In my own group, we eventually had some 52 Story Points (not counting Gadgets) floating in each game session, from the start! DWAITAS also allows you to score Story Points from the GM by allowing bad things to happen to you. It's just like the show. In traditional RPGs, characters seldom get captured, except maybe by the dreaded GameMaster's fiat. Most players prefer to stand and fight. In more cinematic games (or perhaps, in narrativist ones), players might be more willing to get caught so they can get some quality time with a gloating, secret-spilling villain. Doctor Who is very much that kind of story, and characters on the show often get captured, taken over or separated from each other just so the plot can happen.

But here's the thing. Though DWAITAS encourages tactics that allow you to score Story Points mid-game, there's really very little call for them. I'm quite happy with the powers it gives player characters - they lead to some epic moments of triumph, crazy improvised gadgets and lucky shots worthy of the program - but the players have so many Story Points, they never need to accumulate more. And so we're back to narrativist impulses that don't require the game's encouragement. DWAITAS provides the "powers" seen on the show, but not the "sacrifices" characters have to make in the course of the plot. In spirit, yes. In execution, I've had trouble making it work.

Even before the end of my first series, I tried various things, but I think I went in the opposite direction of what was required. Basically, I denied the players the start of game "refill" by claiming certain adventures were actually continuances from the previous week. They still started out with lots of Story Points and just didn't spend as many in the opening chapters. No incentive to score more. I've rethought my position.
My solution:
I propose to start each session with NO or FEW banked Story Points. As the story progresses, the players are encouraged to let bad things happen to them (even suggest those things) so they can score the Story Points they know they'll need to get out of the climax and other moments of jeopardy. I further propose the GM should negotiate certain Story Point awards with players who have just succeeded at something to turn that success into a failure, in particular when such a success would derail the adventure. For example, say the plot hinged on a recurring NPC being taken over by Cybermen. Using Story Points, or with a lucky roll, a player might break the Cyber-hold, stopping the plot cold. The GM might then offer X amount of Story Points in exchange for a reversal (clever GMs won't erase what happened, but will throw a twist that really means the players have failed, cue end sting on the episode). The player spent points to get his success, so he wants to recoup them all, PLUS a bonus. Does the GM care enough to sweeten the pot? This technique might eventually turn into a poker game where players and GMs bluff their way into more or less Story Points, but how is that different from a meeting with the Black and White Guardians? Because I believe Story Points are the edge Companions have over the Time Lord, they would probably start with a few points to the Time Lord's zero, and possibly score them at a faster rate.

I strikes me that I had the solution right under my nose, because the aforementioned GURPS game's cinematic points had more or less this set-up (none or few to start, though no negotiated reversals). In that game, you scored points for doing badass things that fit the genre/mood we wanted to achieve. In DWAITAS, the conditions would be different to emulate THAT genre and mood. And so it goes for whatever genre/mood you wanted to achieve. If I were to run a Torchwood game with DWAITAS, for example, absent any official rule set for this rather different corner of the Whoniverse, the major house rule I would implement is that Story Point scoring would depend on things integral to THAT show. Making bad moral decisions, for example.

Anyway, those are my role-playing musings for the week. I hope they're useful to someone. Or perhaps have you never had this problem or else handled it some other way?

Doctor Who #65: The Knight of Jaffa

2012-01-26T06:00:00.003-04:00

"It is a king's prerogative to make yesterday's deafness today's keen hearing."TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 2 of The Crusade, a story that has been entirely lost. For these reviews, I've looked at a reconstruction on You-Tube (part 1, part 2, part 3). First aired Apr.3 1965.

IN THIS ONE... Ian gets knighted and heads for Saladin's camp, but he misses Barbara by a hair - she's been abducted by El Akir. The Doctor and Vicki are confronted by the merchant they stole from. And King Richard decides to marry off his sister to end the war.

REVIEW: The Doctor is a wonderful wit in this episode. In the opening moments, he convinces King Richard that a prisoner exchange with Saladin would be humiliating for the Saracen leader, especially at 100 to 1. It's a fun moment in which the TARDIS crew shows its teamwork, and one that impresses the King by its sheer audacity. Even leads to Ian becoming the first TARDISeer to be knighted (but not the last). The Doctor also gets to fast-talk his way out of a confrontation with the merchant he stole from, and even gets the poor man paid for his trouble. Once again, Hartnell's flair for comedy comes in handy. Meanwhile, Vicki becomes Victor, a boy, but she may be found out by Joanna, the King's sister, played by the great Jean Marsh. At least, it would appear so from her questioning tone, but it's hard to say without the video. More than any missing episode to date, The Knight of Jaffa is hard to interpret from the pictures and sound. Is the relationship between Richard and Joanna a little bit incestuous? Or is it just the choice of picture over the sound? And what of that long, final pursuit scene? Just music and shots of Barbara and a potential assailant (the sets finally feel Middle Eastern though, with all those narrow streets). We've lost its meaning (good thing we have the script and the next episode).

Barbara, of course, gets a good chunk of story all to herself, but it's not the story I would have wished for her. Her dialog with Saladin in the previous episode was so good, I wish she'd gotten to stay in his court and played storyteller. Her ability to turn her sole skill of history into an advantage (she planned to tell all the stories from later world literature) is one of my favorite things about the character. Alas, she's to become the object of El Akir's lust - he wants to put her in his harem for revenge purposes! The threat of sexual violence often looms over Barbara, which is odd, I know. But also something of a cliché.

The historical characters continue to intrigue by their contrasts. Saladin remains cool, collected and compassionate, immediately worried about Barbara and trusting that she did not escape but was kidnapped. In the other camp, mercurial Richard decides to marry his sister off to Saphadin to stop the war, ready to leave her in a foreign country (what IS an English princess doing on the front?) so he can finally go home. And he doesn't ask her permission either. Even the way he dictates the letter, mouth full, gnawing on a bone, reveals a certain lack of manners, honor and appropriateness, and a callousness too.

REWATCHABILITY: High - It's all very clever and fun, even if it does lose something - especially in the final moments - because of the missing video.

The Old 52: Locke & Key

2012-01-25T06:05:00.001-04:00

If you haven't read it, it's new to you. Every month I try to supplement the New 52 with a series from the Old 52. Series I've never read, but have always meant to.When it was new: It's still new and ongoing. It started in 2008, and has been published at IDW as a series of 6 issue mini-series that continue the same story, acting as easy sign posts for collections. Locke & Key is by co-creators Joe Hill and Gabriel Rodriguez, and is published every month or two. Between it's five arcs - Welcome to Lovecraft, Head Games, Crown of Shadows, Keys to the Kingdom, and the currently ongoing Clockworks - there have been 28 issues to date.

Premise: The Locke family moves back into Keyhouse, the family estate in the New England community of Lovecraft. As it turns out, the house is full of magical keys and locks that give entry to strange places or operate transformations on their users when they go through the appropriate doors.

Unlocking the secrets: I've recently read a recommendation for Locke & Key that was something like "the book I hand people who don't read comics", and yeah, it's totally got that kind of appeal. I like that Joe Hill is hiding behind a pseudonym and not trying to trade on his famous father's reputation, but really, I think the comic would get more attention if more people knew he was Stephen King's son. So I'm telling you. He is and it shows without feeling derivative of the Master of Horror's work. The story does have elements of horror to be sure, but it's more of a fantasy. As the book opens, the Locke family suffers a deep loss when the father is killed by a couple of insane kids commanded by some dark power. The survivors move to Keyhouse where the three kids discover the magic their father grew up with. Their distraught mother and gay uncle are too old to register what's going on. And what's going on is an interdimensional demon trapped in the wellhouse, and eventually, in their midst, and manipulating events for its own nefarious purposes. The kids are distinctive and endearing characters, and the other citizens of Lovecraft, Mass. all chisel a place for themselves. When something horrible happens to someone, you care.
Of course, 80% of the joy is in finding out more about this universe of keys and locks, the magical effects they have and the strange history behind Keyhouse and their father's childhood. As the series progresses, we find out more and more, and with the present series called Clockworks, we're finally delving into the origins of the keys (no doubt the recent Guide to the Known Keys special will be part of Clockworks when it is collected). There's tragedy and pathos, but also comedy and light-heartedness. The sense of the latter may be thanks to Gabriel Rodriguez' art which at first struck me as a too cartoony riff on Rick Geary's work, but he's gotten better with each successive issue. By reducing the size of eyes and using thinner lines, he's done away with anything I found overdone in the first collection. His exact draftsmanship creates a perfectly-engineered world, and repeated panels that highlight bodily and facial expression. Hill and Rodriguez could sit on their laurels and kept telling their story the same way, but they go above and beyond that, experimenting with such things as a "giant-sized" splash issue, the tribute to Bill Watterson, the one-panel-a-day issue, and the "war tales" pastiche. Keeps the series fresh as cream on berries. I've been converted. I love it. And I think you will too. Especially if you love things like Harry Potter, or Stephen King, or Stand By Me, or early Vertigo series, or Things That Are Good, Period!

Trade in for one of the New52? Easily. I'll read the adventures of Tyler, Kinsey and Bode Locke over every DC Dark series in the New52. (If you ask me to kill a DC Dark series to make some room, let it be Justice League Dark.)

Doctor Who #64: The Lion

2012-01-25T06:00:00.001-04:00

"You must serve my purpose or you have no purpose. Grace my table tonight in more suitable clothes. If your clothes beguile me, you shall stay and entertain." "Like Scheherazade." "Over whose head hung sentence of death."TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 1 of The Crusade, available on the Lost in Time DVD boxed set. Only episodes 1 and 3 survive, though the DVD includes both missing episodes as audio only. I've also listened to the serial as part of the BBC Lost Episodes audio series, as narrated by William Russell. First aired Mar.27 1965.

IN THIS ONE... The TARDIS lands in the medieval Holy Land where Barbara is captured by the Saracen and brought to Saladin's court, while the others fall in with King Richard Coeur-de-Lion.

REVIEW: Ahhh, it feels good to in a historical again. Writer David Whitaker gives some grand cod-Shakespearean language, so much so it was hard to pick a single quote for the top of this review, and hey look! Julian Glover as King Richard! And a live hawk! What is immediately striking after six episodes of The Web Planet, is how much music (and sound design) there is. It creates a real sense of place (and time), even if the sets don't. A dense forest, a castle interior, a couple of tents from the 1001 Nights... Is that really the Holy Land during the Middle Ages? But it's a very small flaw to an otherwise wonderful episode. The only other problem is that the print is more damaged than most and you'll see vertical lines on parts of it almost all the way through. Maybe it's because it was found so recently (1998) and had deteriorated more than most, or maybe 2|entertain didn't have time to properly restore it in the rush to complete the Lost in Time collection. Easily forgotten because it really is gorgeous, with great acting and exciting fight scenes. It's beloved Who director Douglas Camfield's first onscreen credit, but he had done the savage fights in 100,000 B.C. Here, he uses claustrophobic close-ups to ramp up the tension, and shocking violence as cathartic punctuation. Let's not forget the acting scenes, where he makes good use of people not looking at each other when they speak, keeping reactions hidden from all but the audience, or playing with the Saracen brothers by making them two sides of a same coin, back to back, separated by a thin gauze.

The script features a Shakespearean game of doubles (pretty clear who Whitaker's main influence is and he'll get no complaints from me), with two King Richards and two Joannas (the second set provided by William de Preaux and Barbara, though they are quickly found out), two Saracen brothers, and of course, mirrored leaders in Saladin and Richard. The irony is that it's the Saracen - nominally the baddie, if only because El Akir, the first Saracen we meet, IS a cruel, contemptible creature - it's Saladin that's reasonable, thoughtful and kind. Richard, though affable, is impetuous, self-pitying and thinks nothing of letting Barbara rot in a Saracen jail. History (or Robin Hood stories) would have us believe the "Lion" is a great hero, but he's put to shame here by Sir William and his honorable sacrifice in putting the royal target on his back. And he's a child compared to Saladin's stoic and calm demeanor. We don't learn as much from Saphadin, except that he's a little obsessed with the Princess Joanna, but he stands a more emotional counterpart to his brother. Both are sympathetic and literate, not what we expected. And for the time, even if played by white men in tan face, a surprisingly balanced portrayal of Arabs.

As for the Doctor, he gets to cheat yet another clothes merchant because I guess the TARDIS wardrobe doesn't really have EVERYthing. There's a lot of fun business here as we see just how the theft is carried out, and you can see just how well Hartnell takes to both historical adventures and comedy. He thrives in such an environment, in a way he simply doesn't in technobabble/fluff-heavy sci-fi stories. Ian and Vicki are mostly hangers on in this episode - Ian is refused an escort to go and rescue Barbara, and Vicki helps the Doctor steal clothes - but they get to play bigger roles in episodes to come. I can't wait.

THEORIES: We didn't get a cliffhanger at the end of the previous story, and here the cast all seem to have different clothes and haircuts. Ian even looks a little frazzled. Might there have been unseen adventures in between The Web Planet and The Crusade? Certainly seems a good place for them.

REWATCHABILITY: High - Highly literate, with historical characters brought to life by great actors. Best of all, they don't steal the spotlight from our heroes, who are very much involved in the story. An excellent beginning.

So What Do I Want D&D 5th Edition to Be Like?

2012-01-24T06:05:00.002-04:00

Easy:Kits, Priests with actual faiths, and wonderful, imaginative settings like Planescape, Spelljammer and Ravenloft (to name only a few). Yeah... I never converted to 3e. OLD SCHOOL BABY! (Well, Old But Not So Old That I Mean Original D&D or Advanced 1st School.)

Sure, there are things in 2nd that need some fixing. It wasn't perfect. I'd do away with the loose leaf Monstrous Compendiums, for example, and give the Forgotten Realms better adventure modules, but otherwise... It had just the right level of complexity and customization, and never felt like a video game to me, which later editions always sounded like from descriptions.

Here's the 5th going back 3 steps before going forward again!

Points to Comments section where readers may unsuccessfully try to convince me that other editions are better and/or vent their empty frustrations about the unworthiness of AD&D 2nd.

Doctor Who #63: The Centre

2012-01-24T06:00:00.001-04:00

"We have been on a slight... exploitation." (Your Billy fluff of the month.)TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 6 of The Web Planet. First aired Mar.20 1965.

IN THIS ONE... Everyone reaches the center of the web simultaneously and the Isop-tope withers the Animus.

REVIEW: So we finally meet the Animus in the flesh, and though its brightness might at first make it look like a Star Trek god-like alien, it's really more of a crepe paper jellyfish with sprawling tentacles. Personally? I think it works. Yes, it's cheap, but what isn't, on Doctor Who? It's the room full of tendrils that evokes some kind of Lovecraftian monster (see Theories), as well as the Menoptra's reaction to seeing "God". Rather strangely, it wants to reach Earth to steal the secrets of space travel, even though it's in another galaxy and would require those secrets to get there (it also implies we're in the future, since humanity is a well-known space-faring species). Its defeat comes at the hands of Barbara who finds the Isop-tope the Doctor lost, only one of many plot conveniences in the script. I'd also note how little the web cliffhanger plays a role in the story, and how Ian just pops his head out at the right spot at the very end of the story.

Really, it's Ian who suffers the most in this story. Once he gets separated from the others, he's on an irrelevant track, meeting up with the Optera who - surprise! - don't help in the effort to rid Vortis of the Animus. turns out they were just a bouncy spot of local color. That they share the Menoptera's destiny to rebuild the planet is all very nice, but it would have been much better if they'd been instrumental to the plot, if only so Ian could have been too. Having lost in school tie, his gold pen and a lot of time, he's clearly the loser here, more than the Animus. In the end, ridding the planet of the corruptive creature makes everything all right. The Menoptra embrace their primitive cousins, no problem, the Zarbi return to the status of friendly cattle, water starts running again, and even the larvae guns play with Barbara like cuddly dogs. (Cuddly dogs with explosive noses.) Satisfying enough, but it does over-egg the pudding.

It's here, in the last episode, that the story shows its creakiness the most. The absence of music reveals not only the cracking of exoskeletons, but of the sets as well. This is one noisy episode! I realize the problem was always there, but this is the first time it's really (PUN ALERT!) bugged me. The door to the Center of the web doesn't close very well, and you can see the string working it. And then there's the Menoptra poetry replaced by calls of Zarbiiiiiiiiiiiiiii that work like matadors' calls, but that never fails to get a belly laugh out of me. And Barbara and her allies popping out of a geological formation that seemed so much farther and bigger just evokes a Whack-a-Mole game to me. Another chaotic, blurry battle seals the deal. So yeah, the Animus IS rather good compared to all that. Seems like this serial has finally worn out its welcome.

THEORIES: The New Adventures novels maintain that the Animus was a Lovecraftian Old One, one of several presented on the show. It all started with David MacIntee's White Darkness which introduced Lovecraft's Mythos into the Whoniverse. Other authors reinforced the idea because it just happens to fit the canon rather well. Specifically, the Animus is identified as a pre-Universe being called a Lloigor in Andy Lane's excellent All-Consuming Fire, and made a comeback in the Missing Adventure Twilight of the Gods (by Christopher Bulis). Apparently, the one on Vortis was just a shred of a greater creature. Tying it to the Mythos helps explain a few oddities in The Web Planet. At times, it feels like the Animus is following magical principles rather than scientific ones. How its influence corrupts a whole planet, for example, changing its landscape and even its people (if the Optera are mutated versions of the Menoptra that stayed behind). Its ability to use gold to control other beings is more alchemical than physical. Its death also brings an immediate renewal to Vortis, which seems magical as well. And magic is just how it looks to us when a pre-Universe creature exploits the laws of its universe in our own. Don't worry about seeing the Animus again though, according to the 2006 Doctor Who Annual, it was destroyed in the Time War.

VERSIONS: The Target novelization is called Doctor Who and the Zarbi, and contains a few notable differences. There's a Zarbi "queen" called the Zarbi Supremo. Vrestin is male rather than female. The Doctor is called "Doctor Who" throughout. The Animus loses its name entirely. Written by script writer Bill Strutton, one can probably see how much of it was changed before hitting the screen.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium-Low - The low point of the serial as it runs out of new things to show us about Vortis and becomes about plot. Sadly, it's not a very good plot.

STORY REWATCHABILITY: Medium - I still have affection for The Web Planet and I do respect its attempt at creating a most alien world. However, when experimenting this much, do try to keep the serial down to 4 episodes.

Filming Nature Shows Is Hard

2012-01-23T06:05:00.001-04:00

Sheena got quite good at the art of camouflage......but she never did fully control her over-protective boyfriend.

Still... maybe Fox will buy the spoiled footage.

Doctor Who #62: Invasion

2012-01-23T06:00:00.001-04:00

"Before the Animus came, the flower forest covered the planet in a cocoon of peace."TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 5 of The Web Planet. First aired Mar.13 1965.

IN THIS ONE... The Doctor and Vicki escape, rejoin Barbara and the Menoptra and together they plan an attack on the Animus. Meanwhile, Ian is underground with a group of mining bugs.

REVIEW: You know, there's a lot of poetry to the Menoptra and Optera's existences, and it really comes out in this episode. Each species gets a chance to describe their unique point of view, with the Menoptra worshiping a God of Light above forests of flowers, and the burrowing Optera talking about holes to the surface as mouths that speak light. It's rather wonderful. And sad too. One of the Menoptra's had its wings cut and will never know the joy of flight again. And Ian is privy to a brusque funeral ceremony when one of the (named!) Optera kills itself to bung up a hole through which an acid pool is draining. Life is as harsh on Vortis as it is in the Earth's insect world. That these insects speak and have a personality makes us care about these creatures on tv, even if we slaughter them by the millions in our gardens.

It's interesting to note that Barbara is once again used as a strategist, and it makes sense that a historian would have this kind of knowledge. The Doctor amends her plan, but only slightly, and to incorporate himself into it. He and Vicki have used the realigned control wishbone to enslave a Zarbi, which becomes Vicki's second pet on the program (she calls him Zombo). The Doctor's freedom is short-lived though, as his return to the carcinome gets him sprayed with webbing. The planet's finally living up to its name. And as predicted, this episode puts the last's MacGuffins into action. The Doctor is to smuggle the Isop-tope into the center of the web, while he must give up his ring (see Theories) so the Menoptra can use it to control the Zarbi in their planned distraction. From this review, you might think there isn't much to this episode, but it is quite evocative in its language and probably the best part of the serial yet.

THEORIES: So what CAN the Doctor's ring DO? He's always worn it, but we're on the fifth story of the second year and only NOW does it come into play. When the TARDIS lost power, he could still use it to open the door, and yet, from the outside, he still needed the key to access it in Marco Polo (but will do so with the help of the correct light frequency in The Daleks' Master Plan). So it's not a universal pass key. He also links it to the Animus' control collar and uses it to direct the Zarbi, but it's never been associated with Time Lord powers of hypnotism before (it will again in The War Machines, where it will also protect him from electrical shocks). I suppose it could be a focus for the Time Lord's telepathy, but only now is it extremely "valuable" and something he does not willingly part with. Nor do Doctors beyond the first wear one (it didn't fit the Second's finger). It's possible that it's Time Lord technology, and that it has various properties the Doctor has chosen to use only rarely. It's probably also a family heirloom with sentimental value? Could it even be his wedding ring? Or represent some other important bond to another Time Lord? Rings do have an importance in Time Lord society. There are Time Rings, of course, though they're more like bracelets. There's the Ring of Rassilon too, and maybe Time Lords wear rings in honor of their society's founder, perhaps upon graduation from the Academy. That the Doctor did away with his means nothing. He's a renegade, after all. But what other Time Lord wore a ring, and recently too? That's right, the Master, and it was a key component in bringing him back from the dead. The Ring of Rassilon did mean immortality (as a curse, but still). Could a Time Lord's ring play a part in the regeneration process? Perhaps in your FIRST regeneration, triggering your twelve?

REWATCHABILITY: Medium - We get to learn a lot more about the aliens in the story, and that they truly are more than actors in rubber/funfur suits. It's charming, though low on incident.

This Week in Geek (16-22/01/12)

2012-01-22T20:50:00.003-04:00

Buys

Only one purchase this week, and that The French Connection on DVD.

"Accomplishments"

DVDs: Without having seen the original, I can still tell how the 2010 Korean remake of John Woo's A Better Tomorrow differs from it. First, a North/South Korean reality is imposed on the original's Mainland China/Hong Kong set-up, and second, it probably focuses less on stylish action (though director Song Hae-Sung knows how to fill the frame with style) and more on the tragic drama aspects of the story. The film is about a brotherly love triangle, loyalty between men, and redemption for a child's betrayal. The relationships are complex up front, so getting into the story wasn't the easiest thing to do, but time spent on character scenes pays off in the second hour. The extras are all short and skewed to marketing the movie, and suffer from bad sound on the interviews, especially producer John Woo's, as he's apparently giving his opinion from a tele-conferencing unit.

Audios: Finished volume 3 of Lost Doctor Who Episodes narrated audios with The Moonbase, the triumphant return of the Cybermen and the first of many "base under siege" stories for the 2nd Doctor. On the moon! I have the story already on DVD, the two surviving episodes and the audio from the other two are on the Lost in time boxed set, but Frazer Hines' narration comes in handy, describing the action scenes with gusto. It's not the best story, but I do enjoy early Cyberman stories, and it strikes me once again that Polly was a kickass companion. Not at all the time-traveling secretary she's been made out to be in fan circles, she's the big revelation of this CD set. Certainly a better character than Victoria who replaced her, and maybe even better than Zoe (I know, heresy... nevertheless...).

With the next Lost set not yet released (boo!), I've return to my Big Finish originals (audios allow me to walk to and from work, in sleet and snow, and still listen to my "stories"). And it seems I'd left the Key2Time trilogy after the first story! My bad! The second part is, I'm glad to report, a great story. In The Destroyer of Delights, writer Jonathan Clements has crafted a wonderfully verbose and witty tale of the 1001 Nights, throwing meticulous historical research in with spaceships and robots in the Sudan to inspire the story of Ali Baba. The 5th Doctor and Amy the Key Finder (not Pond) are wonderfully used in the setting, but Clements offers one more entertaining element: Modern versions of the Black and White Guardians that are actually funny and endearing. The Black Guardian is played by David Troughton, and man does he ever sound like his father on audio. I wouldn't be surprised if this was still one of my favorite CDs come Siskoid Awards time next January. And bonus! Very nice interviews with the writer, director and cast are included!

New Unauthorized Doctor Who CCG cards: Finally regained control of my website, so those few new cards I had only shared with my specialized CCG forum are available to everyone. There's a 10th Doctor in there for the gals, and some new Daleks for... well, for the gals too. You know who you are, don't dare deny it.

Hyperion to a Satyr posts this week:
III.ii. Instructing the Players - BBC '80
III.ii. Instructing the Players - Zeffirelli '90

Doctor Who #61: Crater of Needles

2012-01-22T10:22:00.002-04:00

"Oh, my eyes are so sore. Everything seems to... to flare when I look at it."
TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 4 of The Web Planet. First aired Mar.6 1965.

IN THIS ONE... Ian and Verstin meet the primitive Optera underground, the Doctor and Vicki play for time before they can escape, and Barbara escapes from the Crater of Needles and lands smack dab into the Menoptra's invasion of Vortis.

REVIEW: I'll give it that, Vortis continues to be a surprising place. We meet another sentient species on the planet, cave creatures called the Optera, who appear to be devolved versions of the Menoptra, wingless, grubby things that hop around (in their speech patterns too). They look like they're made of Nerf, but I like them. Everything on Vortis to date has been pleasantly alien and accidentally cute. If they are Menoptra, it begs the question of how long ago the Animus arrived, as the dialog puts it as a fairly recent occurrence and certainly not enough for a species to "evolve" that much. Either the Optera were a primitive offshoot of the Menoptra, unknown and hidden before the Animus even came, or their deterioration is likely due to the Animus' corruptive effect on the planet as its "carcinome" spreads. The Animus is a planet-wide cancer, and along those lines, living cells (people) infected might be prone to mutation. Works for me. These guys may prove key allies in the fight against the Animus and its Zarbi minions.

Because it doesn't go too well with the Menoptra invasion, not after the Doctor accidentally gives the Animus sensor data that shows where the invasion force is set to land. The medium wasn't really made to show the battle, but darn it, it gives it a try anyway. It succeeds rather well at the flight scenes, the Menoptra making graceful landings and take-offs on wires hidden by the vaseline lenses. It doesn't do so well with the actual combat. Menoptra fall over carefully so they don't damage their wings, and there are a lot of close-ups to cover the confusing choreography. It does, however, capture the chaos of a battle, though I doubt that was the intent. In an early and just as dodgy skirmish, we also get the satisfying crunch of a larvae gun getting smashed on a wall. I take it where I can get it, but bucktoothed ants versus fluffy bumblebees... the battle will likely never reach "epic" on the proportions dial. I do give a thumbs up to the models and sets though, which marry well together to create Vortis. Long shots of the plateau and the Crater of Needles especially. Barbara actually refers to the streaky lighting - so it's not just for our benefit - and has trouble breathing, though otherwise, the thin atmosphere is all but forgotten.

Plot-wise, this is an episode about unseen MacGuffins. The Menoptra's only hope is their Isop-tope (you may groan at the pun, I'll be joining you), and Vicki implores the Doctor to use the "spider" (something not very well set up in the previous episode, so it may baffle even when watching the episodes back to back). Neither are seen or deployed. The Doctor does manage to realign one of the gold wishbones that can take control of people (Vicki, please don't do that zombie thing again, it's really creepy), but again, it's not deployed. These things do need to be set up for later, but I wonder how clearly it came across with a whole week between episodes.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium - Vortis keeps giving us more back story and new things to look at, but the serial's attempt at crafting a truly alien world swings from wonderful to silly in any given second.

Siskoid Radio: Geek Out! - January 21st

2012-01-22T09:36:00.003-04:00

"If your Spider-Man collection is worth more than your house, you might be a geek..."

Got back into radio yesterday (after a false start last week) with a show on campus radio called Geek Out! It's all about comics, movies, tv, rpgs, and other geek niches, accompanied by music inspired by all of these. It's in my native French, of course, but the music is split maybe 60/40 and I thought it might be interesting to keep a record on this here blog of what I might talk about and play. You can't exactly follow along, but at least you're not missing any potential "bonus content". Cough.

Intro tune: Threshold 8-bit version - Brian LeBarton (we'll see if it sticks, seemed to work here)
Introductions
T'é Triss - Groovy Aardvark
Geek News: The headlines included D&D going to a 5th edition, DC's new logo, and the 10 million dollar reward for inventing the medical tricorder.
Batdance - Prince (he doesn't want his music on You-Tube, but you know the song I mean)
(Do You Wanna Date My) Avatar - The Guild
Comics recommendation: The Guild comics from Dark Horse, charming and funny, and a must for fans of the popular web series.
Game On by - Guild
Comics round-up: Basically a few of the week's tweeted comic book reviews.
To lead into the next song, a short discussion on how I haven't seen Tintin yet because of the damned 3D, and which books the sequels will be about. (No mystery to me. There are two other 2-book stories, so it has to be Prisoners of the Sun and Tintin on the Moon.)
On a Marché sur la Lune - Ralph et les Baronics
Movie recommendation: Hard Core Logo (see my capsule review in This Week in Geek)
Who the Hell You Think You Are? - Swamp Baby (as Hard Core Logo)
Rémi - Pénélope
Geek Band: Every week, I'll highlight an artist or group who make extensive use of geekery, or have a particular geek cachet. This week, Cavaliers Noirs, a rap group from Montreal who use a lot of samples from genre movies, or rather, their French dubs.
Amèr Rica - Cavaliers Noirs (can't identify the sample)
Le Pouvoir - Cavaliers Noirs (sample from 1984)
Dernier Souper- Cavaliers Noirs (sample from Blade Runner)
Hail to the Geek - Dead Pedestrians
Geek 101: A series to help you embrace your inner geek, or understand the geek in your life. Though I'll be exploring some of the more obscure niches in the future, I start with simple definitions of what "geek" means, contrasting with other words like "nerd", "freak" and "hipster".
A musical block of tunes from Chuck and why you really should be watching it (from the beginning, not in the middle of its last season, of course). The next songs are associated with some of the women in Chuck's life (cue walk-into the BuyMore with wind blowing).
Short Skirt Long Jacket - Cake (the show's theme is really Sarah's song)
Keep Yourself Warm - Frightened Rabbit (for his treacherous ex, Jill)
L'Amoureuse - Carla Bruni (for Kristin Kreuk's Hannah, whom he initially met on a trip to Paris)
I make my goodbyes and invite listeners to return next week, and I end on a Doctor Who theme song remix, something I plan to do every time:
Who Rocks the Party That Rocks the TARDIS - Angel Mendez

The show's on CKUM Radio every Saturday between 7 PM and 8:30 PM Atlantic Time (-4 GMT) on 93,5 FM in the Moncton area, or online, while capacity isn't exceeded, HERE.

Reign of the Supermen #409: New Gen Superman

2012-01-21T10:04:00.002-04:00

Source: Superman/Batman Annual #4 (2010)
Type: Replacement/Alternate FutureFor an IMPROVED generation, Lex Luthor's new breed of armored Superman says.

What does Superman Beyond think of that boast?
That's right. (And sorry about the 8.9 earthquake, folks.)

Doctor Who #60: Escape to Danger

2012-01-21T09:56:00.001-04:00

"I’ve seen a colony of ants eat their way right through a house. That size, they could eat their way through a mountain."TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 3 of The Web Planet. First aired Feb.27 1965.

IN THIS ONE... As the Animus attempts to draw information from the Doctor about the Menoptra invasion force, Ian escapes and tries to reach Barbara in the Crater of Needles.

REVIEW: We learn a lot in this episode, both about the history of the planet Vortis and about some of the cast (and when the story has so few sign posts, those character moments are precious). When the Animus controlling the Zarbi tries to get information about the Menoptra space fleet from the Doctor, it smacks of paranoia. NO ONE in this story seems equipped to go into space, but the Menoptra in the previous episode did communicate via satellite. As it turns out, though the Animus is barking up the wrong tree by interrogating the Doctor, the Menoptra ARE in space. They lived on Vortis until the Animus came with its gravity-transforming moons, and its web-like rot, and it's enslaving of the beast-like Zarbi. The Menoptra escaped to one of the moons, which they describe as a dim half-world, but now they must take back the planet before their wings grow too weak, even if they're not ready. The theatrical, lilting way Menoptra express themselves creates a vivid picture which increases the scale of the story tremendously. We don't need to see the fleet, because the sight of Menoptra swooshing in from low orbit is rather exciting. The Zarbi don't fare quite as well because they never really seem threatening, especially once Ian pushes one over. They're barely more mobile than turtles. It doesn't help that they fire the larvae gun at Ian's prison and accidentally free him.

And what is it with Ian and ants? Does it seem to anyone else like they make him freak out a little bit? Well, if I guess if I'd seen a colony eat their way through a house, they might also give me the creeps. It's not explained where Ian saw this, but it must be during his time in the service, which I think this is the first mention of (if obliquely). Our boy Ian was a hero before he ever stepped into the TARDIS, I'll warrant, and here he falls easily into the role of Vestrin's war-time ally. The Doctor is also well treated by this script. He shows acerbic wit when he calls the Animus' telepathic tube a hairdryer. He uses his ring to mesmerize the Zarbi (writer Bill Strutton or script editor Dennis Spooner is trying to develop a prop we've had since the first episode). And for the first time in the history of the program, he offers someone sweets! It's chocolate, not jelly babies, but we'll get there! Hartnell is quite good throughout, feigning distraction or openly defying the Animus. Sadly, the girls don't get as much love. Vicki turns variably into a lab assistant or hostage, and her re-powering of the TARDIS is a miracle, or if you like, writer laziness. Barbara isn't in the episode at all, which is always a disappointment.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium - Getting the back story to the Web Planet gives us a reason to care for its odd inhabitants, and there are enough character moments here to warrant a viewing.

Kung Fu Friday Moments: Korean Street Gangs

2012-01-20T06:05:00.000-04:00

Tonight, we watch the Korean remake of John Woo's A Better Tomorrow, bur our FIRST Korean KFF movie was Ryu Seung-wan's The City of Violence, a pretty cool flick that included THIS early fight scene between the heroes and Korean street gangs. Check it out:

Breakdancers, skaters, bikers, hockey players, schoolgirls AND a baseball team. Korea doesn't fool around. Seems ANY gang is a potentially violent street gang.

BEWARE MY IMPROV TEAM/KUNG FU FRIDAY REGULARS! WE WILL F**K YOU UP!!!

Doctor Who #59: The Zarbi

2012-01-20T06:00:00.002-04:00

"History! Doesn’t mean anything when you travel through space and time."TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 2 of The Web Planet. First aired Feb.20 1965.

IN THIS ONE... The TARDISeers are variously captured by the ant-like Zarbi, and Barbara meets the butterfly-like Menoptra.

REVIEW: When is strange and different TOO strange and different? This serial sure does push at the boundary for what's acceptable television, but I think mostly comes out on the right side. Visually, this episode is like the last, though the vaseline streaks sometimes look like blurs instead. Sometimes they make the Zarbi's eyes glint pleasantly, and others you're not quite sure what you're looking at. Even shots inside the TARDIS strive for strangeness, like shooting Vicki's face through the time rotor. The Zarbi themselves are so strange, the TARDIS doesn't manage a translation (the Doctor seems to infer their "speech" is akin to the sound made by grasshoppers rubbing their legs together) and even hand gestures don't get through to them. We also meet the Zarbi's natural enemies, the Menoptra, butterfly people who look gorgeous, except for their silly, furry pants (legs are a problem shared by all creatures on Vortis). More than actors in buttlerfly suits, they have a unique way of speaking and gesturing that highlights their alienness. And of course there are giant bombardier beetles ("larvae guns") the Zarbi use as living weapons. One of these elements in a Doctor Who story is easy to handle. All of them together may well alienate the casual viewer. Good thing we're not casual viewers then.

Problems with clarity aren't just limited to the vaseline trick. The TARDIS is seen to dematerialize at the end of the previous episode, but it's obviously being dragged to the Animus' location in this one. The business with Barbara bringing a club to her with her feet doesn't actually result in her gaining a weapon. And we might wonder why all the characters are separated only to be brought back together (except to buy some time in a story that should have been one or two episodes shorter). And yet, it continues to engage me intellectually. What is this Animus, and why can it use gold as a medium for mind control? It's an almost alchemical riff, strange in a sci-fi story (I'll attempt some explanations under Theories in some later episode). Its technology (it looks doubtful that the Zarbi developed it themselves) is otherwise biological. Cannon bugs and flying sting-weeds and walls made of vines and web-covered mind readers. Yes it's bizarre, and yes the characters do a lot of walking to and fro, but it's an alien world and it feels like it. That counts for something.

THEORIES: The Doctor says he's never been there, though he recognizes Vortis. Well, what does he mean? When he landed in the Aztec Empire, he's never been there and yet, had been to Earth. For time travelers, it's a little more complicated as "here" has a temporal element to it. In fact, extracanonical writers made the Doctor come to Vortis before and after this story (from the Doctor's point of view, and for that matter, Vortis'). There seems to be a real fascination with the Web Planet among Doctor Who writers in general. The Doctor Who Annuals and TV Comic account for three visits to Vortis (1st Doctor). The 2nd Doctor goes there in the Missing Adventures novel Twilight of the Gods. The 4th Doctor visits in a comic. And the 5th, in the Big Finish audio Return to the Web Planet. Further, Russell T Davies reign on the show incorporated a number of references to Vortis. Venom grubs from the novelization are mentioned by Blon Slitheen in Boom Town, and the Isop Galaxy where Vortis is located is said to be where the Face of Bo lives according to Bad Wolf. There are also various mentions of the Zarbi over the years, and of the Animus (but I'm going to keep those for a later Theories article).

REWATCHABILITY: Medium - I was tempted to give it a lower rating, but it works on the basis of exploring the Web Planet. The Menoptra look quite good, the Animus is intriguing, and as you can see from Theories, there are enough links to the New Series to be of interest to New fans (which is true of the entire serial, of course).

Aquaman's Home Movie Meme

2012-01-19T06:05:00.001-04:00

What is it with me and so-called memes this week? Use the blank provided below or the comments section if you like!With Aquaman around, no special effects required.
See you in the soggy papers!

Doctor Who #58: The Web Planet

2012-01-19T06:00:00.002-04:00

"We very nearly had the remnants of a Coal Hill School teacher in there instead of his wretched old, ragged old tie!"TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 1 of The Web Planet, available on DVD. First aired Feb.13 1965.

IN THIS ONE... The TARDIS is brought to the Web Planet (Vortis) by some unknown force and strange things start happening both inside and outside the TARDIS. Oh yeah, and giant ants!

REVIEW: Director Richard Martin is back and he's doing an episode that feels a heck of a lot like The Edge of Destruction. Uh-oh. The good news is that it's actually not too bad because though Martin's pacing issues do crop up (let'd watch the Doctor dip Ian's tie in acid for a minute), he's going for broke when it comes to creating an alien environment. The backdrop looks cool, the characters have to wear new costumes to breathe in the thin atmosphere, their voices are treated to echo, and vaseline streaks make it look like even the light hits things differently on the Web Planet. The approach is a bit "hard sf" for television, but as a one-off, I think it's a remarkable idea. We only glimpse the aliens here, and if the Zarbi - great, big ants with adorable buck teeth - it's for two reasons. 1) Their hind legs are human and quite disproportionate to their four other legs. And 2) the electronic sound they make just doesn't sound organic.

Style over substance? A bit, though the character bits do work. There's a fun scene in the middle of the episode in which Barbara and Vicki discuss their respective eras' school systems (Vicki's time seems to use teaching machines that turns 10-year-olds into doctors). Vicki assumes Barbara's new bracelet was a gift from Ian rather than Nero, further evidence that they are an off-screen couple. And the Doctor and Ian have good interplay exploring outside the TARDIS. We also find out the Doctor's ring can be used to open the doors when the power's out, though it's not all that clear how it all happens.

In some ways, the script feels like a throwback from the previous season. Vicki's under some kind of psychic assault as if she were Susan (looks like they switched it to hypersonics just to cover it), and there's a justification for why the TARDIS can't just leave (even if the Doctor has shifted his focus to helping people and away from just getting out of Dodge). The similarities to The Edge of Destruction will probably scare potential viewers, with companions turning into zombies, strange sounds and images, and the TARDIS doors opening by themselves. At least this time we're promised monsters on an alien world, and that's enough not to turn this into a painful retread.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium - Be advised, I have a certain affection for The Web Planet serial, because it was my first (and for the longest time, my only) Hartnell story on public access. I laughed at it then with its giant ants and absurdly slow pacing, but that mockery has grown into my becoming something of an apologist for it. Well, we'll see how the daily experience affects my perception of it. At this point, I can recommend the characters, as usual, and the sound and light design. Not so sure about the plot and direction though.

Three Weird Books

2012-01-18T06:05:00.003-04:00

A meme of sorts, if you'd like to participate, consider yourself tagged (comments section or your own space). The idea is to look at your shelves and find the three strangest books you own. Obviously, it's all relative. Twilight would be a very strange thing to find on my shelves while a Klingon dictionary or Finnegan's Wake would not. I've also decided to omit graphic novels and role-playing manuals from this pool, though you don't have to. I just put them in another category entirely. So what are the three weirdest books in my library?

The Urantia Book
I found this blue brick of more than 2000 onion-skin pages in a used book store and it was so strange (and I'll admit, cheap), I just had to get it. It fits my collection of sacred texts (I like to keep books from every religion, alive and dead, on my shelves) and yet doesn't. Urantia is this faiths' name for Earth, and the book is part Christian, part Scientology. I might have used it as a sacred text found by player characters in one of my games, but never did (still, I'm not dead yet). The faith elements aren't too bizarre, though it tends towards a more scientific vernacular. The shard of God the Father that is in each of us, for example, is called the Thought Adjuster, and it helps each individual, and society, reach some kind of enlightenment over time. There are a great many pages also devoted to history and cosmogony, freely confirming the existence of aliens, and a proto-human race of blue, red, green, etc. people (we used to be into primary colors before we started mixing into beiges and browns). How the universes are constructed and their function, how mutations arise to create new species, it's all in there. There's also a section on the life of a mortal Jesus - the best example of this cosmogony and enlightenment at work - which is pretty much written as a novel. As eclectic a religion as you're likely to find, and I have a first edition!

Pop Poems
A literary experiment by Ronald Gross, Pop Poems attempt to take the philosophy behind pop art and apply it to text. The result is pretty awful. So for example, while pop art would take non-"high art" illustration like ads, stamps or comic strips and reproduce it in a high art context (in size, medium and/or location), Pop Poems takes non-literary writing and gives it a poetical "shape". Gross translates newspaper articles, instruction manuals, tax forms, legal texts, grocery lists, and of course, ads into sonnets, free verse and odes of all sorts. It only works occasionally, in the way an exquisite corpse might, but usually, it sounds exactly like the original text did no matter the type setting. Bonus points for turning the indicia and About the Author into extra poems.

Psychic Pets
This booklet was bought and given to me at the check-out aisle at a local market and for some reason, I've always kept it (and its cousin, How To Talk To Your Cat, but that one seems right now my alley). I guess it's mostly strange because of the psychedelic pink dog on the cover, but it's also full of weird stories we're supposed to take as Truth, about life-saving seagulls and the ghosts of pets back from the dead. I'm sure we can believe the sources. 1920s local newspapers were famous for fact-checking, right?

There might be something strange SOMEwhere in the house. It's hard to get to all the books at the Casa del Siskoid. But I think these are pretty good. So now it's your turn - What are YOUR three weirdest books?

Doctor Who #57: Inferno

2012-01-18T06:00:00.002-04:00

"If I 'go down well', I might even make it my farewell performance. You see, I’ve always wanted to be considered as an artist of 'some taste'! Generally regarded as, er, well... er, 'palatable'."TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 4 of The Romans. First aired Feb.6 1965.

IN THIS ONE... The Doctor gives Nero the idea to burn down Rome, so he does. Our heroes all escape in the confusion.

REVIEW: The violence that's always been part of this serial bubbles over in the final episode. It's still wickedly funny, but we're getting too close to some outrage happening to one of the heroes. Case in point, Nero stabbing a guard for not fighting hard enough. We might smile at his callousness, but Barbara certainly does not. In fact, Jacqueline Hill makes us feel her shock, distaste and desperation quite strongly. The Doctor is still laughing, making myriad puns about being eaten by lions, ruining Nero's joke, but he's found out he replaced an assassin (it must be an advantage to not look the part) and was meant to kill the emperor, so he picks that moment to leave Rome. Even Tavius gets a hard slap from Poppaea, the terror. And in the end, Delos rams a torch right in someone's face. This is a violent world and no longer the right place for a romp.

And yet it ends the same way it began, with all our characters in the villa, relaxing and taking playful jabs at each other. Barbara doesn't want to admit she was the one who smashed an urn over Ian's head, and there are some chuckles there, as there are in the reversal of roles about which character is slave to the other. Their chemistry is strong, and in the earlier shot of Barbara, Juliet-like, at a balcony, we almost get a confirmation that director Christopher Barry thought of these two as lovers. And of course, the two double acts never actually meet in Rome! And so there's the obligatory but amusing scene in which Ian and Barbara are accused of being lazy and not having moved an inch since the other two left.

The episode wouldn't be complete without Nero "fiddling" as Rome burns. That's your money shot. And of course, there's the fun of the Doctor having given Nero the idea to put the city to the torch (see Theories). The sequence is made more energetic by the use of live fire, handled by the actors even, which creates malevolent shadows on the video thanks to bright lights' effect on old-fashioned tube cameras (I used to give my time to the local public access television when I was a teenager, and know the technology well). Tavius turning out to be an early Christian is a nice touch, but unnecessary (can't we have a "good" Roman?). And my friends who are History nerds will be angry with me if I don't mention that he really should be holding a fish and not a cross at this particular time. And now Sevcharia is captain of the guard. He certainly gets around.

THEORIES: Tracking how History works... In the previous episode, the Doctor panics when he thinks Vicki will change history by poisoning Nero, so he stops it. Has he put History back on track, or was he PART of History? Consider the serial's ending as well. The Doctor sets fire to Nova Roma's plans with his glasses and gives Nero the idea to burn down Rome. Did he cause it, or as he at first tells Vicki, someone else would have done it if he hadn't? Though he says the latter, he seems to fancy the notion of the former. This is a good story to watch in parallel with Series 4's The Fires of Pompeii where the 10th Doctor denies having anything to do with the burning of Rome (ha!). In Pompeii, he likewise refuses to change a "fixed point", but seems to cause that fixed point to happen. From these two Roman stories, we might understand that time travelers ARE a part of History and may cause the events we know are "written". When History IS changed in a story, we'll have to examine just what allows a change to actually happen. Time travel alone does not seem to cause a paradox.

VERSIONS: The Target novelization by Donald Cotton doesn't use the episodes' narrative structure. Instead, it takes the form of letters, journals and diaries from the pen of almost every character in the story.

REWATCHABILITY: High - The comedy gets more acidic until History catches up with us and all hell breaks loose... and then, we get the relief of a return to comedy. I'm actually sorry to be leaving the era, its mood and its characters.

STORY REWATCHABILITY: High - Rewatching The Romans is a confirmation of it being one of my favorite Hartnell stories (indeed, one of my favorite Doctor Who stories, period). It's funny, features fun performances from both the guest stars and the regulars, and uses Ancient Rome to its fullest potential. Vicki has quickly proven herself to be a benefit to the show and a breath of fresh air.

Star Trek #1427: Star Trek/Legion of Super-Heroes Part 4

2012-01-17T06:05:00.003-04:00

1427. Star Trek/Legion of Super-Heroes Part 4

PUBLICATION: Star Trek/Legion of Super-Heroes #4, IDW Comics/DC Comics, January 2012

CREATORS: Chris Roberson (writer), Jeffrey and Philip Moy (artists)

STARDATE: Unknown (follows previous issue).

PLOT: Having split up into two teams, the Enterprise crew/Legionnaire combos meet the evil emperor, both in the now and back in prehistory.

CONTINUITY (SPOILERS - Block text to find out): The Emperor is the immortal man the Legion knows as Vandal Savage (DC Comics) and the Enterprise crew know as Flint (Requiem for Methuselah).

DIVERGENCES: None.

PANEL OF THE DAY - George Takei shows through.
REVIEW: I could have done this review weeks ago, but I wanted to put some distance between its publication and my ultimate revelation of the emperor's identity. And still I put a spoiler advisory on Continuity and won't make direct mention of it in the review. It's a nice surprise, not at all what I was expecting, yet a completely logical link between the two franchises, and hopefully I haven't spoiled it for anyone. And just because this part of the mystery has been revealed doesn't mean we're out of mystery. Just how the character was able to change history and where those Kirbyed up cavemen came from will certainly have me coming back for the 5th issue. Not that I would have bailed, especially since Roberson is writing such pleasant versions of the characters. Plot aside, the character moments are what make the book so enjoyable, whether it's Kirk walking into an enemy citadel with a wink and a smile, or Cosmic Boy wondering if Chekov's Russian boasts mean history has diverged more than he thought. And the Moy Brothers' art goes hand in hand with the writing, just as fun and pleasant-looking.

Doctor Who #56: Conspiracy

2012-01-17T06:00:00.003-04:00

"The music is so soft, so delicate that only those with keen perceptive hearing, will be able to distinguish this melodious charm of music."TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 3 of The Romans. First aired Jan.30 1965.

IN THIS ONE... Nero runs around after Barbara, only putting his wife in a poisonous mood, and the Doctor puts on a concert so good, the Emperor wants to have him killed. Also, Ian becomes a gladiator.

REVIEW: Doctor Who actually becomes a bedroom farce in this episode! Barbara becomes the object of Nero's affections (she better stay out of his wife's way!) and from there, it's Marx Brothers hallways and come here my dove. If it works at all, it's because Derek Francis plays him as a petulant child, so it rather looks like he's trying to tickle Barbara more than, well, rape her. It's the kind of harmless sex game kids might have seen their parents play, and no more. And so, Barbara enters the comedy. Of course, it's a very black comedy, as Nero's wife Poppaea soon visits the official poisoner to get rid of the meddlesome slave. Vicki meets the poisoner too, and the woman paints a matter-of-fact picture of a family constantly trying to kill one another. I was reminded of I, Claudius, which of course, wouldn't be filmed for a while yet. That Vicki switches the poison cups and seems to know full well she's spelling Nero's death just goes to show how the comedy always comes first. As it turns out, not only does she save Barbara's life completely coincidentally, but the Doctor manages to save Nero too (ironically, the man he's pretending to be was meant to assassinate Nero). Vicki IS responsible for poor Tigilinus' death, but it's a comic death almost out of Merry Melodies. A man dies and we're laughing. And of course, Vicki probably gets the poisoner killed too, but it's all part of the Roman shtick.

The Doctor gets a wonderful scene in which he pulls "The Emperor's New Clothes" on the whole Court, playing music that only the most noble ears will hear. So of course everyone makes like they hear it, the posers! Nero even forms an opinion that it wasn't that good, and humiliated by the applause the Doctor gets, decides to have the rival musician killed in the circus. Before the concert, the Doctor relaxes in a sauna with Nero, and it gives credence to all the name-dropping he's been doing lately. It's that easy for him to cozy up to historical celebs. And it's lovely how, at the end of a scene, he contemplates his upcoming performance AND the sword point. The script, direction and acting are all being clever.

Only Ian hasn't been allowed to enter the comedy, and he's still in danger, doomed to face his only friend, Delos, in mortal combat. The characters have all been kept separate (except for the Doctor/Vicki double act) by circumstances, but Ian and Barbara's paths finally meet when Nero drags her along to watch gladiators kill each other. It's a dramatic counterpoint to the way they were both thinking about each other at the start of the episode, like star-crossed lovers. And may I say how good the sword fight is? It's fast-paced and brutal in a show that's usually had slugging and badly staged action in the past (and will, in the future). It's a highlight in a production full of technical flaws, from booms appearing in frame to even worse stock footage of lions than in the previous episode. You might also raise an eyebrow at how Sevcheria has gone from slave trader to gladiatorial fight arranger (and might even be sporting a different personality). But these are minor complaints in an otherwise stellar episode.

REWATCHABILITY: High - A black bedroom farce with a fairy tale scene in the middle and a rapid-fire sword fight at the end? Ecclectic is what Doctor Who does best.

10 Things You Might Find Behind the New DC Peeler

2012-01-16T06:05:00.004-04:00

You've seen the new DC logo, now read the humorous comments it's spawned!*

Peel back that logo and find...
1. A Cherry! Collect them all!
2. Stephanie Brown
3. Earth-53 - oh yeah, it's OUT there! Don't believe the lies!
4. Superman's wedding ring
5. The Marvel just under the surface of the NewDC
6. Another peeler... then another... and another... forever and ever... Happy you picked at it now?! It's gonna get infected!
7. The stuff Liefeld is using to blackmail Jim Lee and Dan DiDio
8. Superman's tighty reddies
9. A good DC movie (rare)
10. DC's new focus on wallpaper sales

What did YOU find?

*I'm sure they'll be SOMEwhere on the Internet.

Doctor Who #55: All Roads Lead to Rome

2012-01-16T06:00:00.001-04:00

"Beautiful, beautiful! Did you not hear that, my child? That instant composition?"TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 2 of The Romans. First aired Jan.23 1965.

IN THIS ONE... The Doctor and Vicki meet Nero, Barbara is bought into the Emperor's household, and Ian is shipwrecked and is recaptured in Rome.

REVIEW: This is the second story in a row to present the first Doctor as a formidable fighter and Hartnell throws himself into the moves with glee. We're far removed from the aching Doctor of the first season. The music echoes his delight, and makes it clear we're in a comedy. The danger is real enough, but we're invited not to look too closely at how our heroes get out of it. They are comic heroes so Lady Fortune is with them the whole way through. At least, when it matters. Otherwise, she makes sure the separated characters never actually meet, a pattern of missed connections that both keep the story going and provide amusement. The Doctor and Vicki finally meet mad, mercurial Nero, showing once again how much chemistry the two have. Perversely, Susan could never have done what Vicki does here, relishing the opportunity to manipulate the Emperor with absurd flattery. Both Maureen O'Brien and William Hartnell are great at comedy, and it's a pity Hartnell didn't get to do more in the first season. Derek Francis as Nero gives us just a small taste of his quality here, and it's already delicious. Like everything surrounding the Doctor in The Romans, he's at once comic and dangerous.

The other threads are not so humorous, of course. Barbara is at first thrown in a cell with a coughing woman bound for the circus. There's no doubt here that this is a remorseless culture. When the slave buyer Tavius comes to inspect her, we immediately see him as a creepy villain. We're wrong though. Once he buys her for Nero, there's the sense that he was probably the only man at the auction with pure intentions. And yet, can we trust someone who deals in slaves? And one who seems to have a hand in the murder of the centurion who tried to have Maximus/the Doctor killed. It puts him on the side of our heroes, but it's still murder. He doesn't abuse Barbara, quite the contrary, but she's not quick to trust him. That's our girl.

Divorced from Barbara, Ian likewise has little of the fun he had in the previous episode, though he does find a loyal friend in a fellow slave called Delos. They escape a stick footage galley during a stock footage storm with a mixture of cunning, strength and luck, only to be captured again, in Rome, to perhaps face stock footage lions. I make fun, but only the latter don't mesh very well with the new footage. During the storm, for example, water is thrown into the galley set and it's all very atmospheric and believable. A good action beat for the action hero of the series, on his tour of the Roman experience. Gladiators are next!

REWATCHABILITY: High - Ian's adventure at sea is exciting, Barbara's plight is dramatic, and the Doctor and Vicki's courtly intrigue is highly amusing. What more can we ask from an episode of Doctor Who?

This Week in Geek (9-15/01/12)

2012-01-15T14:23:00.002-04:00

Buys

I spent a bit of coin on an Amazon Boxing Day sale, and my neighbors saw the parcel in my mailbox, but it wasn't there when I got home. Amazon will replace the apparent theft, but that leaves fewer acquisitions this week. Just two Doctor Who DVDs - Invasion of the Dinosaurs and The Android Invasion - and a couple of How I Met Your Mother novelty books from the desk of Barney Stinson.

"Accomplishments"

DVDs: Steven Soderbergh's The Limey has a simple revenge story - a Cockney father just out of prison comes to America to find his daughter's killer - but it's infinitely more interesting than that thanks to perspicacious casting and bravura editing. First, it's really a movie about the 60s and how its ideals have failed. Many of the actors are icons from the 60s and 70s, taking their personae to their logical conclusions. Terence Stamp and Peter Fonda are particularly good, but I can't fault anyone in the cast. In true indy film tradition, every character has his or her eccentricities, begging questions that aren't answered. Through a kind of fractured editing, the film acts as a memory, revealing information in non-linear fashion, and I love that. It even uses scenes from an early Stamp movie in flashback fashion, and seamlessly at that. The resulting confusion never lasts and actually ramps up the tension. I can't believe this movie isn't better known. The DVD has two unusual commentary tracks. The first takes its cue from the editing, at times fracturing the conversation between Soderbergh and screenwriter Lem Dobbs, and it's a very honest one, as the latter really goes after the former's choices. The second is edited from interviews with the actors (mostly) discussing the 60s, their careers, their philosophy of life, their characters and the movie. It takes the place of a usual making of and is never uninteresting.

Our Kung Fu Friday selection was Flying Guillotine AKA all sorts of things, possibly Master of the Killer Hats (!), but not to be confused with Master of the Flying Guillotine (it's a confusing nomenclature - even the cover art seems to be from another movie), a Shaw Brothers classic about assassins who use a throwable hat that chops off heads. Now, there's a lot of training with this thing, so the first half is over-long, but it gets better when one of the assassins (Kuan Tai Chen) runs off because the Emperor has just gone too far. They track him down, but can they kill him and his dissident singer of a wife (her songs are awesome)? It resolves satisfyingly (and uses a LOT of cool outdoor sets), though the Emperor gets away scott free. Boo History! However, I can't say the movie convinced me the flying guillotines are anything other than "flawed" (at best).

Audios: If wiping Power of the Daleks is the BBC's greatest crime against Doctor Who, wiping The Highlanders might just be the second greatest. Not only is it the introduction to one of the longest-running companions, Jamie McCrimmon (though a bit under the wire), and the last true historical (RIP, I loved you best of all), but it's also a wonderful comic turn for Troughton's second Doctor. Think about it: We don't get a surviving episode until The Underwater Menace episode 3 (and soon, episode 2), and that thing is outrageous B-movie madness. The first two stories were infinitely better, and The Highlanders, for its part, has the Doctor adopting various disguises (including the first, but not last, instance of Doctor drag) to great effect. Polly and Ben get a lot to do, and Polly is strong and sassy. I just love how she intimidates Ffinch with a mix of feminine wiles and good, old-fashioned emasculation. Frazier Hines (Jamie) is an excellent narrator, handly the action with the right touch of excitement.

The Underwater Menace, quite simply, a B-movie on crack. It takes place in (future) 1970s Atlantis where a mad scientist at odds with cult leaders means to blow up ze Earth for fun. I haven't seen the newly recovered episode 2, but episode 3 is pretty garish, so the story really benefits from the audio-only treatment (with narration by Anneke Wills). Certainly, the Atlantis we might imagine in our heads, and its climactic flooding, are much more epic, and the fish strike loses its longueurs. It's still B-movie madness, but it's fun and even exciting as Trougthon's Doctor improvises around religious and scientific leaders. It will never be one of the great stories, not with that half-assed plot, but it can be enjoyed as a piece of high camp. In the Lost Episodes vol.3 set, this story has the special bonus disc with all the extras. There's a documentary on the music of Doctor Who, which is pretty great and manages to speak to a lot of surviving composers. I never realized the challenges of making music for tv in the 60s before this. The other feature is an interview with Anneke "Polly" Wills about her time on the program and her rediscovery of these stories through her work on the audio series. What a charming lady, and it all feels very fresh because she's not featured on very many DVDs seeing as most of her tenure is still in the Lost category. If you were getting these audios separately, based on interest, you might not think of getting The Underwater Menace. The bonus disc is worth getting it regardless.

Hyperion to a Satyr posts this week:
III.ii. Instructing the Players - Branagh '96
III.ii. Instructing the Players - Olivier '48

Doctor Who #54: The Slave Traders

2012-01-15T06:00:00.001-04:00

"Oh, the child, she travels with me. She keeps her eye on all the Lyres!"TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 1 of The Romans, available on DVD (packaged with The Rescue). First aired Jan.16 1965.

IN THIS ONE... After a month in a Roman villa, Ian and Barbara are captured by slave traders. Meanwhile, the Doctor is mistaken for a murdered musician and invited to Nero's.

REVIEW: It's Doctor Who's first comedy historical! And it's a lovely start to one of my favorite Hartnell stories. The sets and costumes are of course wonderful, that's a given for a BBC production, but it still needs to be said. Prop stores being what they are, Doctor Who in Ancient Rome was a given, and Ian even has fun doing lines from Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, as if acknowledging what the show is riffing on. Unusually, a month has passed since the previous episode's cliffhanger, rare down time for a well-traveled crew, slumming it in a "borrowed" villa. Well-traveled except for Vicki, who's rather disappointed that she's not having "adventures" or even getting out of the sticks. Famous last words, surely.

That's when "plot" starts happening, of course, and for my money, it's as good a set-up for a historical as any. The Doctor is mistaken for a famous lyre player, which gives him a ticket straight to a historical celeb in Nero. But it's also entry into a Court intrigue story, with the Doctor/Maximus Pettulian as assassination target (from the one sore point in the episode, the mute "brigand-acting" Barry Jackson as Ascaris). Ian and Barbara, sold out by a petty textile merchant to slave traders, are soon separated so they can explore different aspects of the Roman experience. It's a very efficient use of the setting.

But the real magic is in the light comedy of the character moments which are well contrasted with the jeopardy in the last few minutes. Ian and Barbara are having a jolly old time (see Theories for more) and are wonderful together. When they're captured, they're basically on a bender (oh, that Roman wine!). We've never seen TARDISeers so relaxed. And it may explain how Barbara ends up smashing pottery on Ian's head by mistake. Discussion of menus adds a bit of texture (and makes me wonder if the ant eggs are a conscious reference to the next story), and funny lines abound. Some eras of Doctor Who are big on puns and verbal comedy, but not Hartnell's. It may well seem overdone in the future, but here, it's a highlight. The Doctor is quick to grab the opportunity to meet a famous figure from history, improvising his way into a dangerous situation when he can't even remember what his name is supposed to be. And Vicki, though she cautions him, goes along, finding it all very amusing. We're right there with you, Vicki.

THEORIES: When fandom discusses The Romans, Barbara and Ian are usually described as "post-coital". Hard to swim against the current there. If you're looking for an off-screen romance between the two characters, this is your best starting point. They flirt, Barbara compliments Ian's appearance, she plays with his hair... It's all very sweet. When Ian starts reciting poetry, and she bitterly says it might have been a mistake, we wouldn't be far off in seeing this not as disapproval for his cod-Shakespeare, but for not getting similar attention.

REWATCHABILITY: High - The chemistry between the characters are at an all-time high, the light comedy is wonderful indeed, and yet doesn't detract from the very real dangers the TARDIS crew faces. Can't wait for the rest.

Reign of the Supermen #408: The DCU's Animated Superman

2012-01-14T08:26:00.003-04:00

Source: Superman vol.1 #19 (1942)
Type: Movie character inside a comic book universeAre you ready to have your mind blown to smithereens? Because THIS USED TO BE CANON!

In the 1940s, there was of course a Superman cartoon on America's movie screens, courtesy of Fleischer studios. We've met that Superman. This isn't that Superman. No black "S", for one thing. No, this is the Superman cartoon IN the DC Universe, the one the characters themselves might go and see. And that's exactly what Lois Lane decides she wants to do, dragging a reluctant Clark along. And the Superman animated movie is exactly what most of this story is, a perfectly fine little story about a mad scientist and giant robots, with the conceit of those "film" frames (above) to separate it from the framing tale. So clearly, Superman told his story to the producers, leaving out some of the more "secret" details, right? WRONG ON BOTH COUNTS, READERS!
Siegel and Shuster exist in the DCU and they're PSYCHICS! That's right, the movie clearly shows that Superman is Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter at the Daily Planet. So there's just one thing Clark CAN do...
...and that's draw Lois' attention away every time that information is about to be revealed. "Let's go get a drink of water together, Lois." "Lois, you dropped your pocketbook."
And the classic "Lois, there's too much action, I feel dizzy, let's leave." Ahhh, the number of times I've used THAT one. Of course, it doesn't change that fact that a blockbuster shown across the world is telling everyone ELSE your secret identity. What are you gonna do about THAT, Superman? Remember, this is before the days where you could just phone up Zatanna for a quick memory spell. (Maybe the Spectre is available?) Or shouldn't I take this so seriously?
Supes, dude, winking at yourself is just rude to the people on the other side of the fourth wall.

Doctor Who #53: Desperate Measures

2012-01-14T06:00:00.001-04:00

"The executioner sounds disappointed."TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 2 of The Rescue. First aired Jan.9 1965.

IN THIS ONE... Koquillion is revealed to be a Bennett and he gets what's coming to him. Vicki joins the TARDIS crew.

REVIEW: Perhaps at odds with how genuine Vicki is, the rest of this episode is a play on how nothing else is as it appears to be. Not only does Koquillion turn out to be Bennett, but no one on Dido looks even remotely like a crustacean. That's just a set of ceremonial headdress and claws. The "monster" threatening Ian and the Doctor is really just Vicki's pet, a vegetarian creature she calls "Sandy" (her way with animals will become a staple). When Barbara kills it, Vicki finally breaks down. The strangers - our heroes - have upset the balance with their ignorance and arrogance. If nothing is as it seems, perhaps we should be wary of Vicki's intuition that the Doctor doesn't look like a killer...

Point of fact, the Doctor's never been more kind. He charms an angry Vicki with grandfatherliness, showing a new side to his personality. He wasn't this nice to Susan! He's also a more physical Doctor than before, bashing doors open and fighting with Bennett. In this second season, we're moving towards a more proactive kind of hero, one that is there "to help" instead of one who needs to help so he can get back to the TARDIS and escape. Had I been Vicki, I would have wanted to leave with this TARDIS crew too, even if Barbara had shot my pet monster by mistake. Ian and Barbara are good fun, gently ribbing each other and taking things in their stride.

The characters are good, but the story unfortunately falls apart. It's just too short! Bennett's motivations are chalked up to being quite mad indeed, committing genocide to cover a single murder. And when the natives show up, there's no explanation. Where were they before? Who are they? And Bennett's death at their hands isn't even clear. I wouldn't have inferred it if we hadn't been told by the Doctor. It's all so abrupt. The Dido people smash the ship's communications equipment and we're supposed to believe the rescue ship will turn back? Who knows? The design work was pretty good, so it's too bad the story couldn't be extended a little longer to make use of it.

VERSIONS: The Target novelization (by Ian "Harry Sullivan" Marter) includes scenes aboard the rescue ship, and the Dido natives getting killed by its crew.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium - Good, even great, character moments can't prevent the episode from looking abortive to say the least.

STORY REWATCHABILITY: Medium - Its job was to introduce Vicki and it does that very well. She's instantly likable and so is the new crew dynamic. When it comes to telling a complete, satisfying story though, The Rescue misses the mark. It needed to be at least an episode longer for its mysteries to play out.

Kung Fu Friday Moments: Bruce Lee Eats a Chip!

2012-01-13T06:05:00.001-04:00

In particular, the chip he eats after 1:30.

The Big Boss isn't a very good Bruce Lee film (not that I can point to ANY "very good" Bruce Lee film), but the way he eats his chips is so badass, he could defeat the bad guys just by finish a bag.

The only bag of chips ever appreciated at a Kung Fu Friday soirée. Word!

Doctor Who #52: The Powerful Enemy

2012-01-13T06:00:00.002-04:00

"Oh. Very good, yes. Very intelligent reasoning. So good, I might have said the same thing myself!"TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 1 of The Rescue, available on DVD (packaged with The Romans). First aired Jan.2 1965.

IN THIS ONE... The TARDIS lands on Dido where Vicki, an orphaned girl is one of a crash's two survivors. All are beset by the machinations of the strange Koquillion.

REVIEW: Handing the script editor's job to Dennis Spooner, David Whitaker nevertheless leaves him with a parting gift by writing the introduction of Doctor Who's first new companion. What strikes me most about this episode is its energy. Perhaps it's Christopher Barry's direction, or Vicki's innate enthusiasm, or the fact the TARDIS crew get along so well, but it really does have a nice vibe. In many ways, it reminds me of An Unearthly Child. As in the very first episode, the first thing we see is the TARDIS (here materializing with the trademark sound over it for the very first time), but we then cut to an entirely different story about an unusual young woman. If An Unearthly Child was really the story of Susan, Ian and Barbara, with the Doctor coming in later, The Powerful Enemy is about Vicki, with the time travelers only showing up later.

I have to say I liked Vicki almost immediately, and this despite the clownish collar. As one of two survivors of a crashed ship apparently beset by the natives, she shows self-reliance and gumption, gets excited at the right moments, tries to cover her distress with bravado, and yet can still play the sympathetic victim. Maureen O'Brien would make an excellent addition to the cast. And of course, half the game of getting a ticket aboard the TARDIS is to be orphaned, so she's got a good chance. The only other survivor is Bennett, a more cynical, apparently bedridden man. And then there's Koquillion who appears to be a menacing native - I really like the crustacean design elements - the representative of a hidden alien people apparently responsible for the massacre of the other survivors, and none too friendly with the TARDIS crew when they make their appearance. I say "apparently" a lot, but that's because the next episode makes a lot of revelations.

Most likable of all is the TARDIS crew's dynamic now that Susan is gone. You'd think the Doctor who be depressed, but aside from a small moment when he calls out to her by mistake and freezes, he's rather jolly. In fact, more sympathetic than he's ever been. His first bond is now to Ian and Barbara, and he even forgives them making fun of him. Sure, he's trying hard to keep himself busy (or in a state of energetic napping!), but the net effect is that of welcoming Vicki to the family, and not regretting that she isn't Susan. Another change is the Doctor is his inching closer to the all-knowing Doctor of later years. He's been to Dido before, knows its people, their tools, etc. He does, I should also note, admit (in a soliloquy) to having little control over the TARDIS and as often as not putting on the act of being more knowledgeable/competent than he actually is. While the Doctor and Ian take the long way round a cave after Koquillion traps them behind a cave-in, complete with well-realized monsters and Indiana Jones-type traps, getting to know Vicki is a task handed over to Barabra, who takes a harrowingly high fall and is found, merely scraped and bruised, by the girl.

VERSIONS: Vicki was very nearly called Tanni.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium-High - The episode is mostly set-up, but it never forgets its characters. Therein lies its success.

Susan: The Character Sheet

2012-01-12T06:05:00.003-04:00

If I'm going to convert each season into a role-playing campaign, I thought I might as well do the "players'" character sheets. We lose Susan today, so perhaps it's time for Carole Ann to surrender her sheet to us. (Click to enlarge.)Time Lords have tons of Traits. They hardly fit in that little box. Here are Susan's:

GOOD TRAITS
-Attractive (Minor) - strange but cute
-Fast Healing (Minor) - sprained ankles never stay sprained very long
-Lucky (Minor)
-Run For Your Life! (Minor)
-Screamer! (Minor)
-Time Traveller/Tech Level 2 (Minor) - the stuff she learned in that Aztec school
-Time Traveller/Tech Level 5 (Minor) - the stuff she learned at Coal Hill

BAD TRAITS
-Clumsy (Minor)
-Eccentric/Fiercely loyal to her grandfather (Minor) - she won't easily disobey him
-Eccentric/Perpetually "wet" (Minor) - Susan's first reflex will usually be to scream, run or freeze, and she'll even interfere with companions who want to stand and fight
-Eccentric/Quick to love (Minor) - Susan swiftly becomes enamored of the people she meets on her travels and is quick to trust them, even with her life (ex.: Ian, Barbara, Ping-Cho, the Sensorites, David)
-Impulsive (Minor)
-Outcast (Minor) - exiled from Gallifrey for stealing a TARDIS with you know who

SPECIAL TRAITS
-Inexperienced (+3 Story Points)
-Psychic
-Telepathy - limited to when telepathic fields are available (such as in The Sensorites). In other words, she's got to spend Story Points to make things happen
-Time Lord - no Feel the Turn of the Universe, factored into her higher Story Points
-Vortex - only a +1 bonus, because she can't pilot the TARDIS alone, but can help service it

FAVORITE METHOD FOR ACCUMULATING STORY POINTS
Putting herself out of action through falls, sprains, fear, scholastic opportunities, or her grandfather's over-protectiveness.

That's my take using the Doctor Who: Adventures in Time and Space system, anyway. Do you like this? Should I do them for every character as they take their last bows?

Doctor Who #51: Flashpoint

2012-01-12T06:00:00.002-04:00

"One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine."TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 6 of The Dalek Invasion of Earth. First aired Dec.26 1964.

IN THIS ONE... The Daleks blow themselves up with a little helps from our heroes, and the Doctor leaves Susan behind to marry David. Yep, we lose our first companion.

REVIEW: As in the previous episode, all things Ian are sluggish and complete nonsense. Nothing against Ian himself, of course, but I have trouble buying into his pulling at random wires inside the capsule until it stops and frees him. Or the way he stops the bomb by blocking it with thin tree trunks. It just never looks right (I'm not even going to mention the tiny Ian figure sliding down the model). Worse is that the Daleks take their time shooting him, or take forever burning through a simple rope. The tension is just sapped right out of these scenes. Thankfully, there's very little else to dislike in the final episode of The Dalek Invasion of Earth, and lots to love.

Barbara is once again a real winner. Having gotten into the Dalek control room on the pretense of knowing the Resistance's plans, she spins out a wonderfully tall tale culled from every part of human history, from the Tea Party to Hannibal's elephants and more. Her plan to give the Robomen a command through the Daleks' console takes a lot of guts, and it's nice that though it fails on the first attempt, she does manage to put it into action eventually. Her gal Friday, Jenny, does ok for herself, but is quickly forgotten as she doesn't board the TARDIS after all, and Susan pulls focus (and rightly so). But I'm getting ahead of myself - we still need to defeat the Daleks here! And they do, en masse. First the Doctor sends Susan and David on an errand to disrupt their static energy broadcast system in what looks like just a way to keep them out of trouble (it's cute that he teases them about not picking daisies on the way there), but the ploy manages to overheat the Daleks and immobilize them. We're then given shots of body surfing Daleks as humanity takes advantage of the moment. It's positively gleeful. And then the base blows up instead of Earth and the volcanic eruption destroys all the saucers. An epic finish, but one that's hardly believable, I'm afraid, in no small part because we don't SEE a single saucer go up in the blast (not even in enhanced effects). They left their positions all over Earth and came to that spot? And all the Daleks were aboard? No even one straggling patrol left on a street in, say, India (which the Daleks are masters of)? Something tells me humanity isn't done with their tin-plated overlords no matter what we're told.

The return to London is also a return to some kind of normalcy as Big Ben chimes for the first time in who knows how long. And against that bittersweet ending, a companion will leave the show for the first time... This is where the show ceases to be about those four specific people and accepts its destiny as a show that could be sustained indefinitely (so long as we have the actor playing the Doctor... right?!). Susan's departure is thankfully very special (it was even broadcast the day after Christmas!). There are wonderful little moments like Ian being oblivious to Susan and David needing some time alone and Barbara having to pull him out of a conversation, and there's something quite touching about the Doctor clutching Susan's damaged shoe. David asks her to marry him with his back to the camera, not facing Susan either. He's afraid of being rejected, embarrassed and unsure of how to deal with feeling forbidden so long as there were Daleks to fight, and the lump in his throat when he murmurs "He knew" after the Doctor leaves Susan behind. And it's not just the Doctor, it's Ian and Barbara too, standing there as if they'd talked it over and decided it was the best thing for their adopted daughter. They're making decisions as a family. After that wonderful speech (quoted above), the Doctor dematerializes the TARDIS quickly before he can change his mind and though we might imagine Susan living happily ever after, it's on a note of sadness that we leave her, on a shot of the TARDIS key she throws to the ground. Even Francis Chagrin's almost inexcusably over the top dirge can't ruin this series of affecting moments. I felt myself welling up and everything.

THEORIES: So... DID HE EVER COME BACK FOR HER?! After all, no matter what was "good for her" at this point in her life, if she's a Time Lord, it's gonna be a heck of a long one after David dies from old age and she still looks like a 20-year-old. Canon doesn't say, though a couple extracanonical stories do. The 7th Doctor returns to pick up the dropped key, but doesn't see Susan, in GodEngine. The 8th Doctor returns to this time - or a few years later - in Legacy of the Daleks and sees Susan. And then again 20 years after the Invasion, in An Earthly Child, in which Susan is married to David and has a son by him (she remembers The Five Doctors but not Legacy of the Daleks... but surely, she didn't age that quickly? Except there IS evidence that Time Ladies can control their regenerations much better than Lords, so she might age her appearance for David's sake). In the canon, Susan reappears in The Five Doctors and doesn't seem distressed that she was left on a ravaged Earth and that he never came back for her. So either he did pop in at some point, or 20 years isn't very much time at all for a Time Lord.

Of course, that's IF Susan is a Time Lord. Haven't really found time to discuss, but I guess I won't get another chance. There is a theory among certain fans that Susan wasn't a Time Lord at all, but rather a human-ish girl adopted by the Doctor on his early travels. It would explain why there's never any mention of her parents or the Doctor's children (except obliquely and much later), or why the Doctor would think it was a good idea to leave an immortal with a mortal man (i.e. she isn't), why she has a human name, and any other discrepancy with Time Lord lore as it will develop. However, it's far from water-tight. Susan and the Doctor always claim they come from the same world, and she is unnaturally brainy and psychic. If the Time Lords employed human-ish servants and workers or welcomed other races in their society (like Leela), maybe Susan could be from their stock. It might be a fair compromise.

VERSIONS: In the Target novelization, the Black Dalek is bigger than the others. The cover features the Robomen and ships from the movie version (from lack of photo reference).

REWATCHABILITY: High - Even if there are a couple of dumb moments, the majority of the episode is quite good, veering to excellent in Susan's final moments on the show.

STORY REWATCHABILITY: High - Even the lull in episodes 4 and 5 isn't much of one, and the resonance between the Dalek invasion and the possibility of the Nazis winning World War II makes this Dalek serial more interesting, poignant and powerful than their first appearance. Ian's thread is the weak point, but Barbara and Susan's and particularly strong, not something I would have expected from writer Terry Nation.

Before the Outsiders, There Was the Outsiders

2012-01-11T06:05:00.003-04:00

DC's Outsiders is one of those names the company keeps putting into print with whatever lame characters happen to be around just so it can keep the trademark (as if anyone would steal it given the stigma associated with the team). But did you know the Outsiders that hung out with Batman WEREN'T DC's original Outsiders? That's right, Mike Barr's early 80s team was just borrowing the name (my thanks to Mkhall for reminding me of this yesterday). And it really is the same trademark. Just look at the logo, it's nearly the same.

For that matter, being lame wasn't a tradition Barr's Outsiders started. It was all right there in the original: 1st Issue Special #10, 1976, by Joe Simon, Jerry Grandenetti and Creig Flessel.
These Outsiders are real freaks who put the X-Men to shame though seem to have the same basic mission - helping freaks like them against conformist mobs. There base of operations is a super-basement under a high-tech medical center where the world's most famous surgeon and handsomest man (AND former astronaut) Dr. Goodie flirts works. Flirting with nurses by day, and leading the Outsiders by night, he becomes Dr. Scary when he takes off his mask. See, on that alien planet, aliens remade his mangled body only in an approximation of humanity. And then there's the Amazin' Ronnie, a four-armed cyclops; the child-like Billy with his huge, indestructible head; Lizard Johnny who regenerates real good; Hairy Larry whose wheels are a part of himself; and the beautiful - at least, from the neck up - Mighty Mary!

Beginning an Outsiders legacy that would last decades, this comic is very badly put together. Only 17 pages of story, and I can't even understand the timeline. Consider: It starts with Doc Scary finding his cohorts in their battle uniforms, and they quickly run off to save (and meet for the first time) Billy. After the battle, Harry says the readers really should be told who they all are (4th wall, irremediably broken). Pages 6-7, Johnny's origin, but just before something happens with the lizard in his arms, we cut to another story and never return to him. 8-11, two guys find Billy in the attic and attack him, precursor to the action scene up front. 12-14, Doc Scary's origin. 15-17, Doc Goodie/Scary finishes his shift and goes down to the basement, and the last panel of the book is its first, for we've come full circle. Except Billy is in the previous panel (above). But he's yet to join.

Whatever. Their only other appearance was in Superman #692 (2009) as prisoners of Department 7734 (get your upside-down calculator for that one), but only because James Robinson is the king of the Outsiders Principle.
Oh, and the issue is accompanied by a text piece by Allan Asherman that reminds us to treat FREAKS like everybody else, because FREAKS (midgets and dwarves are the only specific people mentioned) are only different on the outside. But we can still call them FREAKS, right? That's an acceptable term?

The Outsiders - They sucked even earlier than you thought

Doctor Who #50: The Waking Ally

2012-01-11T06:00:00.002-04:00

"Leave this creature to his own devices and salvation."TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 5 of The Dalek Invasion of Earth. First aired Dec.19 1964.

IN THIS ONE... Susan and David fall in love while they, Tyler and the Doctor get to the mine. Barbara and Jenny are sold out to the Daleks by crones. And after Craddock is killed, Ian finds himself in the Dalek base, in a capsule meant to blow the Earth's core.

REVIEW: There are a number of nonsensical episode titles in the canon, especially in the early days when each part of a story had its own, but "The Waking Ally" takes the prize. Who is this ally that awakens? He or she is nowhere to be found. Unless it refers to Craddock's brother Phil, robotized, who in the last seconds of his life, recognizes his brother, also dying on the end of his machine gun. It would be touching if it weren't so melodramatic. Another pitiable creature is the Slyther - no, not pitiable, pitiful, that's it - which falls to its death soon after the episode begins. Hardly worth the trouble of waxing one's tentacles in the morning. Seeing as it didn't even make it into the film version, the Slyther's big moment will just have to be the DVD extra in which it goes on a date...

After more sewers action (dear God, why?!), the Doctor, Susan and the Resistance members, head for the mine where Susan and David immediately start frolicking around their camp site. There's kissing and everything. The Doctor sees more than they think, and amusingly says he can see something's cooking. This isn't going to be one of those "out of nowhere" romances Doctor Who will become infamous for. The other good bit belongs to Barbara and Jenny who come across a cottage with two disheveled women in it. They offer food for shelter from the storm (it's all very Gothic) and are rewarded with betrayal. You don't want Daleks to come knocking at your door in those parts. The "women in the wood" are rather good at justifying their actions ("Oh, well. She’d been captured anyway."), the kind of thing we might have expected of Ashton had he survived the previous episode. And with that scene, the story returns to what it was doing so well in earlier chapters - painting a larger world. The old woman talks about visiting London before the troubles began, and of "moving pavement".

The Daleks' plan is revealed and it is, of course, very much absurd. They mean to empty the Earth's core, disrupt its magnetic and gravitational fields, and replace with a power source to turn the planet into a great, big (gas-guzzling) spaceship. Everyone important is converging on "Project Degravitate", with Barbara making a play for the Black Dalek using Dortmun's notes to broker a meeting, and Ian hiding out (as usual with Richard Martin's direction, rather obviously) in the very capsule that will deliver the penetration explosives to the core. Oops! It's only a matter of time before the Doctor gets to the control chamber too. Meanwhile, the Daleks play with their big wall model and get shot with Dutch angles a lot.

THEORIES: Why a planet-ship? Maybe they want to go head to head against the Cybermen (see The Tenth Planet... eventually). Seriously though, maybe these Daleks are a more desperate lot than they admit to. Remember, these are static-dependent Daleks, like the ones in the Skarosian city, not the more advanced models we'll see later. Getting to Earth might have been a feat or even a stroke of luck, and they don't have the power to return to Skaro on with their saucers. A ship as big as Earth might be the only way the whole stranded fleet could get home, bringing slave labour and minerals as booty.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium - The Waking Ally offers some great scenes, but also a lot of silly B-movie stuff. The Daleks were definitely better as Nazi stand-ins than as what boils down to mad scientists.

RPGs for Losers: The Outsiders Campaign

2012-01-10T06:05:00.002-04:00

You know, we poke a lot of fun at the Outsiders here at Siskoid's Blog of Geekery, but no matter how lame the comic book has pretty much always been, we have to acknowledge its real appeal to tabletop role-players. Because the truth is, the Outsiders are a lot like "Your Own Heroes(TM)". Some players took some real DC heroes out of mothballs - Black Lightning and Metamorpho - but most made their own. Vague concepts (Katana, Geo-Force), powers that don't really go together (GF, Halo), terrible costumes (Looker!)... even their names sound like they came from generic RPG settings. Subsequent iterations of the team didn't fare much better. The proof is in the pudding: Mayfair's DCHeroes published a number of adventure scenarios starring teams that could easily be substituted with Your Own Heroes(TM) - New Teen Titans, Infinity Inc., and yes, the Outsiders. So "typical super-team" that you can plug them into anything.

But I want to take that idea one step further. If the Outsiders are losers, never quite able to hold their own against C-list villains, they somehow still take Batman away from the true equals of the Justice League. Losers can make good eventually (it just hasn't happened in B&TO, as it slowly gets critiques in these pages). Making losers on purpose can be an interesting challenge for a Supers RPG that trades on epic victories, but it can least to an interesting experience. It could be played for comedy, but that's not really what I'm talking about here. Having heroes, played straight, who hover just above mediocrity has a lot of role-playing potential and built-in angst. The Outsiders format even provides a reason for villains to still be stopped: The Batman. You could theoretically have a GM-run hero who consistently has to bail them out of trouble, trouble often caused by their own mistakes.

Making Your Own Lame Hero isn't difficult. In fact, most chargen systems/players will produce them a fair amount of the time. Another tactic is to make every player take an established lame hero - heroes who couldn't justify a solo book, or can't anymore - and have that hero seek redemption as part of an ill-formed team. The nice thing about such characters is that they're often obscure enough to act as blank slates. I'm thinking of such patchwork super-teams as Primal Force, for example, which included Claw, Red Tornado, and Jack O'Lantern (almost all Global Guardians make good choices).

A look through Green Ronin's DC Adventures' first splat book (Heroes & Villains vol.1) might yield the following team:
-Agent Liberty
-Air Wave
-Gypsy
-Chronos II
-Aztec
(I of course could have put actual Outsiders on the list.)

But Mayfair's DC Heroes remains my favorite resource because they had so many sourcebooks full of characters. They might inspire the following:
-Son of Vulcan
-Rampage
-Sinbad
-Ultra the Multi-Alien
-Robby Reed (Dial H for Hero)
(I would have liked to put any member of Hero Hotline on there, but I want to avoid parody.)

Some of the above are actually pretty cool, but they failed to be viable headliners in the past. If you had to play a lame or obscure superhero (it need not be in the DCU), who would it be?

Doctor Who #49: The End of Tomorrow

2012-01-10T06:00:00.001-04:00

"A new start? Rebuilding a planet from the very beginning. It’s a wonderful idea!"TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 4 of The Dalek Invasion of Earth. First aired Dec.12 1964.

IN THIS ONE... Barbara and Jenny escape by truck. Susan and David escape by sewer. And Ian meets the black marketeer Ashton and the Daleks' pet Slyther.

REVIEW: Behind the scenes, William Hartnell injured himself so the episode was hastily rewritten to give him a break. The in-story solution isn't at all convincing, I'm afraid. Basically, David convinces Susan to leave the old man behind (she wouldn't have been) because he'll be safe (but somehow they won't) and they've got to move (but somehow the Doctor doesn't). After a dangerous journey through London's sewers, they poke their heads out again and the Doctor's managed to get to the same place they have. It's not just that the Doctor's been written out, but that Susan and David (and Tyler who joins them) have essentially been written out of any meaningful plot too. Shaky ladders, menacing gunmen who turn out to be friends, and "alligator" stock footage (aww, it's just a baby!)... it's all just a diversion. The only Dalek-related menace they face is the firebomb, and though the Doctor's there, David is left to disarm it alone. The sequence is a bit better on a character development basis - Susan and David grow closer, and she shows keen interest in rebuilding a world from scratch. I'm well-known for taking on impossibly long-term projects, but that's all very Time Lord of her.

Meanwhile, Ian's up in Bedfordshire, thinking of going back to London (not more crossing each other in the night, please!), where the Daleks have a slave force working the mine. Lots of extras and numerous camera angles tell me director Richard Martin would rather be shooting everything on film. All the film stuff has been rather excellent (Dortmun's corpse, huge in the frame as Barbara and Jenny pull away is another example), while the in-studio video material has been far more uneven. The mining stock footage does call attention to itself, however. So when we're in or around the earth mover, it soon gets a bit stale. The Robomen REALLY shouldn't be getting lines, because when they speak, the story... just... stops. Even the Daleks's speech patterns have been getting more and more halting since the first episode. For some reason, the Daleks aren't monsters ENOUGH, so we have the Slyther, a pet of the Black Dalek's (marking the first mention of these Dalek leaders), that,s not entirely successful. The camera doesn't linger on it too much, but it looks like a pile of rubber, maybe some kind of plant, with pincers and things. All it really does is cut down the scene with Ashton the black marketeer and kill what could have been an interesting villain. Here's a man who's profiting from the invasion, helping humanity to help himself, but we're not allowed to go into that gray territory, not in a sci-fi story.

As has become more and more frequent, it's up to Jacqueline Hill's Barbara to save the episode. Though we can, of course, sneer at the idea that a museum would keep fully-fueled vehicles on display (it's a Resistance hang-out, so why not say it was part of a contingency plan, Mr. Nation?), Barbara and Jenny's wild ride through a Dalek patrol is genuinely thrilling. Who doesn't love destroying Daleks? And it's not all action. When Jenny's pragmatism doesn't allow for romanticism, Barbara slaps her down hard about the power of hope. I continue to wonder what the TARDIS crew dynamic would have been with Jenny aboard. She can leave the pointy hat at home though, thank you very much.

VERSIONS: The DVD's enhanced effects option gives us a much better shot of the saucer zapping Barbara's truck, and glowy motivation for it to explode.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium - In the rush to write out the Doctor, they threw out any kind of purposeful plot. It's a good thing Barbara runs over a Dalek, because it's otherwise a huge dip in what's been a stellar serial.

Star Trek #1426: The Galileo Seven Part 2 (Reboot)

2012-01-09T06:05:00.003-04:00

1426. The Galileo Seven Part 2 (Reboot)

PUBLICATION: Star Trek #4, IDW Comics, December 2011

CREATORS: Mike Johnson (writer), Stephen Molnar (artist)

STARDATE: Unknown (follows the previous issue)

PLOT: As ape-like Taureans attack the Galileo shuttle, Scotty manages to get the ship working on low power to escape from them. Back on the Enterprise, Uhura steals a shuttle to rescue Spock, which Kirk uses as an excuse to go back to Taurus II, seeing as he's lost most of his senior staff.

CONTINUITY: See previous issue (Taurus II, New Paris, Makus III, Commissioner Ferris, Boma, Gaetano, Latimer, Kelowitz, Galileo shuttle).

DIVERGENCES: See previous issue (Yeoman Rand). Other divergences are a result of the J.J. Abrams continuity.

PANEL OF THE DAY - Apes: Comics' bread and butter.
REVIEW: I'd like to think criticism like the one found in these pages has led to this series diverging more from the original canon in future issues, but I'm not holding my breath. Part 2 of The Galileo Seven is quite divergent, however, as with the second part of Where No Man Has Gone Before, Mike Johnson has predicated the changes on what's actually different in the Abrams continuity - namely, that Spock and Uhura are in a relationship. (Also, that girls can do as much as boys now that we're out of the 1960s.) There's a well-played, meaningful look between Kirk and Uhura when the captain gets ordered to leave the Galileo crew behind. At first, you think Kirk's just apologizing for what's about to happen. In retrospect, they were silently hatching a plan. There's a nice speech from Kirk about why his crew must come first, and a sweet ending with Spock and Uhura confined to shared quarters. Shippers rejoice! The Taureans get the promised make-over, though they're still ape-like. It's fun to see the action outside the shuttle the original episode denied us. My one complaint is that Yeoman Rand's presence doesn't add anything after all. Is she a plant to prepare the next movie? Or will she actually get to do something? The next issue retells Operation: Annihilate!, so not immediately, no. If it'd been Miri or The Enemy Within...

Doctor Who #48: Day of Reckoning

2012-01-09T06:00:00.002-04:00

"There will come a time when you are forced to stop travelling and you’ll arrive some where."TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 3 of The Dalek Invasion of Earth. First aired Dec.5 1964.

IN THIS ONE... The Resistance's attempt to break the Daleks' prisoners free leads everyone to be separated. Jenny, Barbara and doomed Dortmun race through Dalek-occupied London. Ian stows away on a saucer. And the Doctor, Susan and David are imperiled by a Dalek bomb.

REVIEW: Another memorable episode, largely thanks to the shots of Daleks patrolling the famous landmarks and empty streets of London while Barbara and Jenny push Dortmun's wheelchair at dangerous speeds to get to safety. I suppose Dalekmania had something to do with it because in the past year of the show, we haven't seen anything even close to this. Doctor Who hasn't been on location, much less cleared Trafalgar Square and put Dalek graffiti on the lions! Iconic stuff. I certainly redeems the frequently bad staging - people hiding in plain sight, a man running right up to a Dalek before he sees him - but that's not to say there isn't some inspired direction as well. I like, for example, how we see Dortmun play on a little chess board, then cut away to the Resistance's Trojan Roboman strategy. It works, but Dortmun's damn bombs don't, so few rebels make it out of there alive, falling prey to the Daleks' guns with their obscene thrusting elements (which I've always found more effective than the always-late white-out).

Our characters all get separated, at least for a time. Before the Doctor rejoins Susan, she's with David, hiding in the bushes. Their relationship still isn't overt, but they do cradle each other and Susan is keen to invite him aboard the TARDIS. But he won't go, he doesn't believe in running away. When she's left with him at the end of episode 6, it won't just be a new life for her - finally a place she can belong to - it's one with David, who represents a sedentary way of life more than anyone. At first, the Doctor resents the fact Susan defers to David. She's always put her faith in locals (Ian and Barbara, but also Ping-Cho and the Sensorites), while the Doctor primarly has faith in himself. But when David shows the old man respect, his heart is melted and he follows the rebel's lead. We don't know it yet, and neither does Susan, but this is basically the scene where the Doctor gives David her hand.

After a scene of extreme wetness from Susan, Jenny has taken the role of Barbara's best girl. Dortmun sacrifices himself to help the girls escape to the Bedfordshire Mine, where everyone seems to be heading, knowing he would never reach it in his condition. His new and improved bomb doesn't work any better than the last model, but at least he stands up to the Daleks, literally, so as not to make this the world's first stand-off exclusively on casters. Ian, for his part, has taken the express to Bedford by stowing away on the saucer with fellow inmate Craddock (he's looking for his brother there). There's a creepy tussle with a Roboman whose strings are cut when they beat his head gear off, but otherwise, this part of the story is pretty standard fare. No worries, there's lots to look at besides.

VERSIONS: The DVD's enhanced effects option "repairs" a single saucer shot in this episode.

REWATCHABILITY: High - Vivid imagery and meaningful character content more than make up for some lax direction here and there.

This Week in Geek (02-08/01/12)

2012-01-08T15:39:00.006-04:00

Buys

Still picking up some Steven Soderbergh films, like Contagion (see below), The Limey, and an Ocean's 11, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen 4-pack (also see below), but also Equilibrium, a bargain bin SF film that, humorously, compares itself to The Matrix on the box cover.

"Accomplishments"

DVDs: Before Around the World in 80 Days, Pole to Pole, Full Circle and the rest, Michael Palin had done a little traveling, and BBC Video appealed to the completist in me with its release of his Hemingway Adventure (4 episodes) and Railway Journeys (only Palin's 2 episodes included). Both are quite enjoyable, and a little more thematically (as opposed to geographically) structured than his later travelogues. In the Hemingway Adventure (1998), he goes to various places the American writer visited or lived in, and attempts to do some of the things Hemingway did in those places, as well as see how "Papa" is remembered there. There's a lot of variety, with two locations per episode, from Africa to Cuba, to France to his birthplace of Chicago. The two Railway Journeys are set about 15 years apart. The first (1985) was part of a tv series that featured different presenters, his doing the length of the Great Britain, an avowed train spotter's dream. The second (1994) seems like a modern follow-up, this time along the coast of Ireland, more or less in search of his own Irish ancestor. Both are more interesting than I would have imagined, and really speak to a love of trains.

Finally saw Danny Boyle's wonderful Slumdog Millionaire, an almost Dickensian journey from child to young adult in the slums of India. It's also a grand love story, and a film about memory, as each question asked of the protagonist on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? sends us into a flashback that will show how he knows the answer (or doesn't). A huge editing effort, and it works completely. Charming, striking, unique and unforgettable. The DVD extras (so my copy isn't from the initial problem release that was missing them) include two interesting commentary tracks (director and lead, then producer and writer), plenty of deleted scenes, a standard making of, and a "music video" using a 3-minute edit of the film.

That Ocean's Eleven 4-pack surprised me by actually having extras (at least the "Disc 1" extras, probably). Ocean's Eleven itself is a great entertainment - and you know how much I like the heist and con genres - that shows Soderbergh's prowess at 1) assembling an all-star cast and 2) making all the pieces fit. The heist/con focused on robbing three casinos really is a puzzle, and we're given the pieces just right. Las Vegas is a perfect setting, all glitz, just like the cool, cool cast and slick camera work. Soderbergh does it one better by turning the epilogue into an Old Hollywood moment (or series of moments) that pays just the right tribute to the Rat Pack and the days when the original (Ocean's 11) was made. The DVD includes two commentary tracks (the director and the writer on one, a few of the cast on the other), a Hollywood-type making of, and a featurette on the costumes.

Where Ocean's Twelve fails is that it takes away one of the things that made Eleven a success, and goes too far with another. Part of the magic of Eleven was that Ocean's crew took a huge gamble, and it paid off and they didn't get caught. Well, so we thought. Twelve destroys this notion, and almost acts as a critique of the first film more than a sequel. It shows us the downside of the crew's original crime, creates tension between the characters, and takes them away from Vegas. Somehow, the film manages to make Amsterdam and Rome look grotty, because the slick, cool look is also gone in favor of washed out, edgy camera work. One of the good things about Eleven was that the actors were obviously having a lot of fun. This, they take too far, and we're left with a lot of fat on the steak, improv scenes that go nowhere, and by the time Julia Roberts' character is asked to impersonate Julia Roberts, we know everyone is just taking the piss. Don't get me wrong, it's still a perfectly fine entertainment, but it doesn't have as solid a structure or as resonant an ending as the previous film did. As if they knew it was the weaker entry in the franchise, there are no extras accompanying it.

Ocean's Thirteen is a return to form. We're back in Vegas, for one thing, this time to bankrupt a corrupt Al Pacino's new casino, and even the least utilized of the Eleven get to do and show more. It certainly book-ends the first one better, and its structure is tighter. Still, it doesn't forget the events of Twelve as there are call-backs to it too. It's too bad Julia Roberts and smokin' hot Cathera Zeta-Jones couldn't be in this one, but perhaps that would have been one or two characters too many, and the boys' club makes sense in the context of the story. It's a bromance at heart. One with love letters and everything. The DVD features a featurette on how Vegas evolved and continues to evolve - interesting and only marginally concerned with the film.

Another Soderbergh film? I'm on a roll. Contagion is his most recent (until Haywire comes out anyway), and it's a pandemic scenario played as a drama and a procedural. I found it rather disturbing because it seemed like something that could really happen, at least until the situation got too out of control and it starts feeling more like a movie.But by then, you're halfway through, so "it could happen here" becomes a question rather than a statement. I don't think I want to know the answer. Being a movie star won't help you survive the film (again, Soderbergh delivers on the all-star cast), probably why the jeopardy works so well. All I know is that I am probably the least alarmist person when it comes to health concerns, but this thing filled me with apprehension. Brr. The only extra included is a humorous PSA on disease prevention.

Kung Fu Friday's first real foray into blaxploitation was 1974's Black Belt Jones, starring Jim Kelly as a slick, karate-chopping government operative who goes after an evil Mafia winery when their real estate scam gets his mentor killed over his karate school. Terrible? Or terribly entertaining? More the latter, actually. Though it's made on the cheap and has some pacing issues and very little suspense, it does have fun, corny lines to reference among movie geeks, and has fun with the action sequences. The real star is actually Gloria Hendry (Live and Let Die), a rockin' babe who gives as good as she gets with sass and style (and sometimes without the benefit of underwear - don't worry, it's all PG). Man, if Black Belt Jones had been this competent in Enter the Dragon, he wouldn't have wound up on the wrong end of a meat hook. Now the gang wants to see more of Jim, so I'll see what I can do about putting Hot Potato on the schedule.

Audios: Power of the Daleks is without a doubt the most criminal tape-wipe of the entire Doctor Who canon. Not only is it the 2nd Doctor's first story, but it's a damn good one. In fact, it's easily one of the better Dalek stories ever made. On audio, it takes, I think a bit more time to get into the human colony/rebels story, but after a couple episodes, the characters get delineated enough that the pay-off has real punch. The Daleks play the slow game here, creepy and covert (Dalek and Victory of the Daleks, in New Who, owe a lot to this story), ramping up the tension until they do strike, violently. Anneke Wills does a good job narrating, getting into the momentum of the finale, etc., but also puts in one of Polly's better companion performances. And after all that, the last disc gives you a little Easter Egg - an entirely too brief message from the Daleks.

New Unauthorized Doctor Who CCG cards: Got back on the wagon (4 new cards), but am having problems with my web provider. I'll try to put them up as soon as I can.

Hyperion to a Satyr posts this week:
III.ii. Instructing the Players

Doctor Who #47: The Daleks

2012-01-08T06:00:00.002-04:00

"WE ARE THE MASTERS OF EARTH! WE ARE THE MASTERS OF EARTH! WE ARE THE MASTERS OF EARTH!"TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 2 of The Dalek Invasion of Earth. First aired Nov.28 1964.

IN THIS ONE... The Daleks capture Ian and the Doctor and identify the latter as a good candidate for robotisation. Meanwhile, the girls and the Resistance mount a rescue and we learn just what the hell happened to Earth.

REVIEW: The success of this episode is one of scope. Through the WWII metaphor (Resistance vs. fascists, slave labor/death camps, even Lord Haw-Haw and his demoralizing radio broadcasts), we're taken back in time even though we're technically in the future, and for Who fans, Dalek history is also discussed (see Theories). And from London, the scope extends to the entire world through the stories told by the rebels of how the Daleks invaded Earth. They paint a picture of the Daleks that would survive to the new series: Daleks playing the long game, first sending meteorites and then a plague to weaken Earth and cause society to fracture, easily conquering small enclaves rather than a unified people. In person, Daleks seem like fanatical killers, but their tactics belie a much more duplicitous, manipulative mind. Daleks aren't subtle, but their ploys can be. While soulless, they aren't machines, so I love moments that show us the mutant behind the shell casing, like the fanatic's mad, trembling voice as he chants the Daleks are the masters of Earth, or how he just can't believe it when the Doctor puts up some verbal resistance. It's not easy giving these guys character bits to do, so each one is precious and fun.

The other clear winner is the no-nonsense Jenny (Ann Davies), a potentate companion that would definitely have contrasted with Susan had she come aboard, and not just because of the blond hair. She has absolutely no pity for Susan weak hams or general wetness, and almost hilariously callous when discussing the Doctor and Ian's chances of surviving Dalek capture. I like Vicki very much, but I can't help wondering how Jenny would have gruffly interacted with Nero, the Zarbi or King Richard. There's some attention given to the Susan-David relationship - he confides in her but not in Barbara, he's her sounding board among the Resistance - but hardly anything you would consider indicative of romance. Barbara isn't forgotten either, mostly playing mother to Susan, but also coming up with the plan to infiltrate the Dalek saucer using Roboman appliances. It's almost too obvious, but I guess the Resistance had other things on their minds. Still giving props to Dortmun here when he gets up from his wheelchair, leans against the table, and gives his crew a good pep talk.

Meanwhile, the Doctor and Ian are stuck in probably the least interesting section of the episode, but they make the most of it. The saucer exterior, on the tarmac, is a big set, shot from above, and that looks good. Even better with the atmospheric smoke and lights during the Resistance's attack. The interiors aren't particularly interesting though. There's this naff magnet lock and key thing in their cell that makes more or less sense, but seeing them work it out is mildly enjoyable, if not exactly as "educational" as it wants to be. In his arrogance - and this is a major character trait of the first Doctor - his escape attempt turns into proof he is a good candidate for robotisation. Hartnell has a good number of fluffs, but a lot of his dialog is terrible anyway ("Don’t you realise, before you attempt to conquer the Earth, you will have to destroy all living matter!"). Ian is the cabbage head on this episode, asking the Doctor questions and rarely understanding what's happening. Putting the two scientists of the cast together isn't particularly beneficial to his character. As if to confirm it, the Doctor even laughs at Ian's "human" schooling.

THEORIES: Only the second Dalek story and already their history is causing headaches. The problem is mainly that our information comes from the Doctor himself. When he says things like "What we’re seeing now is about the middle history of the Daleks", it seems like he knows more about the Daleks than he's ever told his companions. It's one thing to say we're "before" or "after" the events of the previous Dalek story, it's another to somehow know this is the "middle". But when he says the other adventure took place "a million years in the future", it contradicts even THAT story's timeline, in which we were told the Daleks and Thals had fought a neutronic war "centuries ago", only AFTER WHICH the Daleks mutated to their current form (or as we'll discover in Genesis of the Daleks, simply replaced the Kaled race). The "million" is the kind of hyperbole you might say to mean "a long time", but not literally "a million years". So if the Doctor is generalizing or guessing about that, he might also be guessing about the "middle history" thing. The theory I subscribe to is the one where some static-dependent Daleks left Skaro to conquer other worlds, while others remained behind. The City Daleks from the first story are the latter and the ones with the satellite dishes on their backs are the former. If the energy receivers were developed in transit, the City Daleks need not have them (they really didn't need to go into the forest until the TARDIS and then the Thals showed up there). That allows the first story to take place in the future relative to The Dalek Invasion of Earth. It can be considered their "middle" history if Genesis is "early" and everything that excludes static electricity as their sole power source is "late".

Note also mention of the Moonbase, which will become the stage for a 2nd Doctor story called, unsurprisingly, The Moonbase. It takes place in 2070. According to the Resistance, there could still be people up there hundred years later, though of course, they might have been exterminated.

REWATCHABILITY: High - Playing out on a massive scale, this is turning into the most epic Doctor Who story yet and a model for much of what is to come.

Reign of the Supermen #407: Father of Superman

2012-01-07T09:30:00.001-04:00

Source: Son of Superman GN (1999)
Type: ElseworldsContinued from last week...

We left young Jon Kent's story just when he'd found his father's tubed body in a secret facility. He frees him and brings him home, what else could he do. And how many kids get to witness their parents getting back together when one was presumed dead for 15 years?

While Superman Jr. is told that this is too dangerous and your mother would kill me if she knew, etc. etc., Superman Sr. comes out of retirement, joins the now nationalized JLA, puts on his government-issue black uniform and jumps into the action. However, he also discovers Luthor has plundered his Fortress of Solitude while he was away and used it to build his empire, and as it turns out, even give himself some sweet Kryptonian powers.

Lines are drawn in the sand. Sides are picked. Justice League traitors are revealed. Black costumes are abandoned. And a fight breaks out in which Junior kicks Luthor's ass and earns his place in the first rank of heroes. Superman Sr. DOES need someone to hold the fort while he goes on a second honeymoon. He even inspires Lois to go back to her original color. Now, THAT'S love.

Doctor Who #46: World's End

2012-01-07T06:00:00.003-04:00

"What you need is a jolly good smacked bottom!!"TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 1 of The Dalek Invasion of Earth, available on DVD. First aired Nov.21 1964.

IN THIS ONE... The TARDIS lands in 2164, in a bombed-out version of London. Susan and Barbara wind up with freedom fighters, while Ian and the Doctor are attacked by Robomen and... a Dalek.

REVIEW: Well, that's certainly a change of pace! Even before the TARDIS materializes, we see a Roboman commit suicide by throwing himself into the Thames. That's disturbing and harsh! But then, so it this dead, silent, and rusting London, echoing the Blitz only some 20 years before. What if the Germans had won, it seems to ask. Our only taste of humanity's future up til now has been The Sensorites, where we were traveling among the stars. This is much bleaker. The Earth under siege. Dirty Resistance members running to the underground like rats. Signs forbidding the use of the river for body disposal. And thanks to an as-yet unmatched amount of location shooting, we see a lot of that world - disused buildings, overgrown industrial parks, doors that give way to missing staircases (a nice bit, that).

And perhaps there's just too much of it. Though the running around is relatively well staged, using tense drum beats to cover the lack of sound, it sometimes feels like it goes on forever. Barbara running. Ian and the Doctor rummaging. Flying saucers patrolling. One look at the credits reveals director Richard Martin's name, which explains it. His episodes of The Daleks were similarly badly paced. And he's matched with writer Terry Nation again, and I thought for sure he was up to his old tricks when Susan sprained an ankle and Barbara was asked to cook for the Resistance. Because that's all girls are good for, right Mr. Nation? And they'd come such a long way, especially Barbara. But then when asked what SHE does, Susan fiercely answers "I eat" and I start to forgive Nation his trespasses. This may yet turn out well.characters,

What Nation does well here is create images. Nightmarish, bombed-out London. Immediately distinguishable Resistance members we hope to get to know better later - wheelchair-bound Dortmun, Tyler the gruff veteran, and young David as potential heartthrob. And of course, the Dalek coming out of the Thames, which stands as one of the most iconic images in all of Doctor Who (though I think I tend to remember the scene from the Peter Cushing movie). The Robomen, people turned into zombies by the Daleks, have clunky designs, but since when have the Daleks been interested in aesthetics? The clunkiness just makes them more disturbing, though they're only really scary in large numbers. Unless you've got a sprained ankle and can't briskly walk away from them, I suppose. The Dalek saucers, great big peanut butter cups, wobble around a model of the city. None of it is bad, but you don't want to stay on those shots too long (see Versions). But even though the world's worst prop tells us the date is ±2164, it might as well be 1964 from the costumes, sets, etc. Or even 1944. This is really where Doctor Who starts putting aliens outside our windows, among recognizable landmarks, running roughshod over our gardens and keying our cars. It's landmark television.

VERSIONS: The DVD's enhanced effects option repairs three key shots. The Battersea Power Station is no longer a still photograph, so the water's actually moving and you can better see its broken chimneys. And the two shots of the saucers now look like those we've become used to from the new series, with the big knobs on their undersides (they don't try to match the angles, sadly). The second Peter Cushing film, Daleks Invasion Earth: 2160 A.D., will get its own article at its proper chronological slot.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium-High - Though at times horribly paced, it's easy to overlook the flaws thanks to its strong visuals and sense of place.

Kung Fu Friday Moments: Glass Story

2012-01-06T06:05:00.000-04:00

Jackie Chan's Police Story has a number of memorable scenes, but here at KFF Central, it got the nickname Glass Story thanks to the final mall fight:

Jackie also made a Glass Story 2 and a New Glass Story, only inferior in that they don't break as much glass.

Doctor Who #45: Crisis

2012-01-06T06:00:00.002-04:00

"Oh yes, it’s going to explode. And when it does, it’ll go off... well, to us, a thousand pound bomb!"TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 3 of Planet of Giants. First aired Nov.14 1964.

IN THIS ONE... Our heroes cause an explosion and telephone trouble to get the police involved, then head for the TARDIS to get it back to the proper size.

REVIEW: If this episode is a bit weird, it's because it was edited down from two episodes due to production problems (one of which, I dare surmise, was to avoid showing an upsetting dead kitty to young viewers). That's why it's "filmy" (it had to be transferred to that format for easier editing) and why it seems so disjointed at times. I'm sure it helped remove any longueurs, but it's entirely TOO tight. Things happen too quickly, we catch the end of conversations or miss them entirely, and it makes some of the characters decisions come out of nowhere. And yet, we get all that business with the giant phone and a longish scene in the TARDIS, trims to which might have helped the final product breathe a little.

Barbara's poisoning is finally revealed and still she doesn't want to make a fuss, which is wonderfully British of her, and our heroes continue to interact with giant props. However, there's a futility to what they do that makes it all rather pointless. They manage to unhook a phone, somehow alerting a meddling operator, but she was already on Forester's trail thanks to an earlier call during which she correctly noticed "Farrow"'s lack of whistling lisp (so there was a point to that after all). Whatever the town this takes place in, it's lucky the operator not only knows everyone by voice, but shares a cubicle with a policeman. I'm not saying it's not possible and so far as I know, this was common practice 50 years ago, and the unhooked phone gag would have worked. Still, Forester seemed well on his way to getting himself arrested all by his lonesome. Likewise, the scientist Smithers figures out for himself that his insecticide is too deadly (maybe the dead cat justified his sudden realization, had it remained in the episode), causing Forester to pull out his ridiculously tiny gun on him. And then there's the home-made bomb the TARDISeers make by lighting up a can of insecticide. Ignoring the fact that this would be doubly dangerous at their size (the stuff is poison, right?), the cops were already on their way and the explosion had nothing to do with it. Though of course it gives Forester a bit of a burn. I don't have a problem with there being nothing the heroes can do at that size, but I do have a problem with it all being written as if they HAD done something when in fact, they had not.

Even though a number of decisions seem to occur off-screen, as does the journey back to the TARDIS (like I said, these can be jarring), there was really no time allowed for the Doctor to fix the busted scanner in the TARDIS. So it's perhaps even less of a cliffhanger when it's on the blink at the end of the episode. Yes, we're asked to come back next week to see if the Doctor can fix the vertical hold on his tv. Considering what comes next, the cliffhanger really sells it short.

VERSIONS: So what was cut from episodes 3 and 4 to make it fit a single time slot? The cat drinks contaminated water and dies; the crew decide to put the fate of the Earth's ecology above Barbara's life; the Doctor says there are no antidotes in the TARDIS; Ian and Barbara get a puff of Forester's cigarette (a cliffhanger?); the nosy operator wonders about the strange car at Farrow's and discusses his smoking habits; Smithers figures out what Farrow's report said; and Forester says he put Farrow's body on the trunk of the car. Most of these were restored in the Target novelization.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium-Low - While the story survives the editing, it's still a jagged viewing experience, and our heroes are made redundant by the activities of the town operator.

STORY REWATCHABILITY: Medium - An amusing fluff piece, perhaps not the best choice for a season opener (I don't know how much of that factored into things back in the day), but still relatively entertaining thanks to the production design and the regulars. The Doctor is mellowing out nicely as well. Less successful is the upscale story - a potentially worthy eco-fable turned into a weak cop show of the week.

The Last Starfigh--Bosconian?!

2012-01-05T06:05:00.000-04:00

Might this be the first nostalgio-meme of the year? Only if you answer the question for yourselves! Context: So I was watching The Last Starfighter last week, and it made me think of my arcade years in the 80s. No quarters were more badly spent. And if a machine were ever to hand me a fantastic destiny, what would it have been? Based on amount of time/money spent, it would surely have been the somewhat obscure Bosconian.

I never had the street cred to "own" a popular machine - in fact, the only time a crowd ever huddled around me was to steal my wallet (I was an inconsolable 12-year-old) - so it had to be a game no one else much cared for. I spent many a lunch hour blasting space station from both my front and my ass, and in return getting blasted by the often unintelligible messages from the game's digitized voice. "CONDITION RED! CONDITION RED! CONDITION RED!" However, a powerful race of aliens never came to recruit me. Can't blame them, really, because I never hit any kind of spectacular score.

We'll have to look at consoles if we want to find my real strengths, and the game from my youth I actually "flipped" the score on was Demon Attack on the Atari 2600.

A simple enough shooter pitting you against waves of demons who get increasingly fast, start off increasingly low, shoot with increasing accuracy, and multiply when you shoot them, their babies often turning themselves into living weapons. In the days before pauses and saved games, it was a hand-crippling feat to get to a million points and turning back over to zero. But I did it. And then I was whisked off to the ice planet Krybor to face the real legions of demons. Yeah, I can't believe there was that much detail to the back story either.

But now it's your turn! Go back to your teen years: What arcade or console game(s) would have gotten YOU recruited?

Doctor Who #44: Dangerous Journey

2012-01-05T06:00:00.003-04:00

"We’re freaks. They’d put us in a glass case and examine us through a microscope!"TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 2 of Planet of Giants. First aired Nov.7 1964.

IN THIS ONE... Ian and Barbara get themselves trapped in a giant lab via briefcase where the latter is poisoned by insecticide, and the Doctor and Susan climb up a drain pipe to find them. In the upscale world, criminal behavior.

REVIEW: You know, I didn't remark on it yesterday, but they ARE lightening up the Doctor. He's rather sweet and calm here, and even claims he would have interfered to put a stop to the crimes committed "above". In the previous episode, he did blow a gasket, but immediately apologized to Barbara - the one who was most peeved the last time a slough of malfunctions caused him to go ballistic, back in The Edge of Destruction - who, by this time takes it all in her stride. Shows routinely retool concepts and characters between seasons today, but it's more believable if those changes occur slowly and organically. Plus, we have to realize viewers weren't given much time to forget Doctor Who. The space between seasons was only about 7 weeks! After a full season of aching backs though, it's a bit hard to believe that he climbed that giant drain pipe (and quite the leap of faith).

Back in the story, we're getting more lovely giant props, sets and even creatures (that's a nice fly!), though scale does tend to vary, with the characters between 1 and 3 inches high against any given prop. That's ok. It doesn't take away from the roadside attraction fun of handling giant things. The cat just loses interest and takes itself out of the equation, so not the best cliffhanger resolution, but interaction with a giant cat would have been pretty limited anyway. If you were under the impression, as I was (curse you, The Five Doctors!) that Susan was always spraining her ankle, I should mention that it's Barbara who has the weak gams in this (Susan won't get a sprain until the next story). In fact, she's extremely accident-prone. Bangs up her knee on a paperclip, gets mesmerized by a fly, and of course, gets poisoned. Why can't she tell Ian though? It seems a bit ridiculous but I somehow find it a bit touching. She's initially embarrassed, and then refuses to believe it's true. Every time she's about to say something, she's interrupted. It would be ludicrous if it weren't so well played by the two principals. The funny thing is, Ian should KNOW she's touched the poison because he just lent her his handkerchief to wipe it off. But he's in the middle of solving this great big puzzle, and gets totally distracted.

The thing I question is the inclusion of the upsized drama. The ruthless Forester is joined by the irresponsible scientist Smithers, and they discuss their joint obsession with bringing their project to term, and staging a boating accident to get rid of Farrow's corpse. Smithers keeps going on about "the experiment" which turns a very real business and science concern into a bit from a mad scientist movie, but at least his motivations are purer than Forester's (stopping world hunger). But since our heroes can't interact with this story normally, except by becoming accidental victims, every scene takes us away from what we really care about. I think the story could have worked just as well, if not better, if the problems were all caused by mundane household activity. You at home could imagine that your doing the washing up could flush the Doctor down the drain! Grounding it instead in some kind of police drama does it no favors because it's not very good police drama.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium - We like it for the same reason we like comics with Batman running around on giant typewriters. So obviously, anything that plays at the right size is boring.

Doctor Who RPG: Season 1

2012-01-04T06:05:00.006-04:00

On the occasion of completing reviews on the 1963-4 season of Doctor Who, I should like to re-imagine it as a role-playing game campaign using Cubicle 7's DWAITAS RPG.
Set-up
GameMaster David has four players, and has the crafty idea of splitting them into two groups for character generation. Billy and Carole Ann will make Time Lords, and William and Jackie, humans native to 1963. The idea is that each duo will share in a certain measure of loyalty, while the other remains an unknown quantity. The players are keen to role-play organic relationships between the characters, with growing trust or mistrust as time goes on. Together, they agree on a pretty demanding schedule of short and punchy weekly sessions for the better part of a year. The focus will be a Lost in Time campaign using a malfunctioning TARDIS.

The Characters
-Billy's Time Lord will be called the Doctor, a grumpy old man nearing the end of his first regeneration. Through arrogance, rashness and general disgruntlement, he hopes to keep the human players on their toes and not reveal whether he can be trusted or not. And though he takes the usual high Time Lord scores in Knowledge, Science and Technology, he uses his physical abilities as dump stats, leaving room for younger characters to find their niche.
-Carole Ann's Time Lady will be called Susan, the Doctor's granddaughter and almost an infant in Time Lord terms at the age of 16. She means to play her with an equal measure of genius and childishness, and puts points into Psychic Traits, such as Empathy.
-William will play Ian Chesterton, a science teacher who was once in the service. He hopes to fill the more physical and combat-oriented niche of the party. He and Jackie have decided to play high school teachers because it would allow them to know each other, yet have completely different specialties.
-Jackie will play Barbara Wright, a history teacher who will weekly save the world in a cardigan sweater. Perhaps because she has that particular interest herself, she adds Aztecs as a Knowledge/History expertise. Hint, hint, Mr. GameMaster.

An Unearthly Child/100,000 B.C. In the first session, having been quickly briefed on who each character was, Carole Ann puts Susan in Ian and Barbara's school, and after role-playing a few scenes that highlight the unusual nature of her character, the teachers take the bait and follow her home. Finding themselves in the TARDIS, it takes off for their first trip through time. The GM chooses prehistory and embroils them in the political machinations of a tribe of cavemen and their firemaker.

TYPICAL CAVEMAN
Attributes: Awareness 2, Coordination 3, Ingenuity 1, Presence 1, Resolve 1, Strength 5
Skills: Athletics 2, (Craft 1 OR Fighting 2), Knowledge 1, Marksman 1, Subterfuge 1, Survival 3 (making fire at this point in prehistory requires a Survival+Technology check at -2, which is why Firemakers have it as a field of Expertise)
Traits: Choose from Brave, Indomitable, Keen Senses, Tough, Clumsy, Cowardly (almost anything outside their experience could be worth a Fear check), Impulsive, and Unattractive. Story Points: 3-6
Home Tech Level: 1 [Equipment: Stone weapons (+2 Strength bonus)]

The Daleks. From the past, on to the future. The GM introduces ghastly evil mutants trapped in metal pepperpots and they're an instant hit (it's the voice), both terrifying and adorable. The players do surprise him by first not taking the Thal meds he left for them (the players still need to trust HIM) and later by splitting up, forcing him to throw some relatively hackneyed obstacles right out of pulp movie serials at Ian, Barbara and their Thal allies going round the back. In the end, it all evens out and the players might have grumbled at the railroading if the victory over the Daleks hadn't come along just then. If he wants to reuse the Daleks, he'll have to come up with a way for them to overcome their reliance on static electricity though (surely, a Major Bad Trait). This adventure also starts this group's tradition to load up on Story Points early in an adventure by sacrificing the use of the TARDIS in some way (they call it "Fluid linking").

The Edge of Destruction. The GM tries something different, but it's too different to work. Good thing he didn't spend more than 2 short sessions on it. He posits a stuck switch that causes the TARDIS to try to go back beyond the Big Bang, through secret notes asks the players to act out of character (even threateningly), and throws strange clues at them via the TARDIS systems or melting furniture. Billy gets a nice speech out of it, but players generally dislike losing control over their characters and not knowing what the heck's going on.

Marco Polo. His attempt at a leisurely, almost D&D-like voyage on the Silk Road is more successful. He creates a fine cast of characters and shows his research in a variety of ways, managing a mixture of charming exploration and jeopardy in each session. He falls into the trap of loving his created world too much, however, and the players unfortunately become mere bystanders in the climactic fight between Marco Polo and the villain Tegana.

MARCO POLO
Attributes: Awareness 2, Coordination 3, Ingenuity 3, Presence 3, Resolve 3, Strength 4
Skills: Athletics 2, Convince 1, Fighting 3, Knowledge 3, Subterfuge 1, Survival 2, Transport 1
Traits: Brave, Charming, Obligation (to Kublai Khan). Story Points: 12
Home Tech Level: 3 [Equipment: Sword (+3 Strength bonus)]

TEGANA
Attributes: Awareness 3, Coordination 2, Ingenuity 3, Presence 4, Resolve 4, Strength 4
Skills: Athletics 2, Convince 4, Fighting 3, Knowledge 1, Subterfuge 3, Survival 2, Transport 1
Traits: Brave, Charming, Indomitable, Dark Secret (impending Mongol invasion). Story Points: 12
Home Tech Level: 3 [Equipment: Sword (+3 Strength bonus)]

The Keys of Marinus. And it's back to science-fiction. Eager to repeat the Daleks' success, David creates the Voord, to lesser effect. In this adventure, he tries something new - an over-arcing quest. It's in an effort to motivate the player characters to accomplish a specific goal and avoid the meandering of the previous adventure. Travel dials provide the means of travel to a different environment and mini-adventure each session, though these are admittedly pretty slight. It's also a clever way to split the characters up, neatly covering up the fact that Billy can't come and play for a couple sessions. Because DWAITAS is well suited to guest players native to the visited location/era, Robin and Katherine come in to play Altos and Sabetha for a few sessions. They're clearly slumming it and don't get up to much, but enjoy their time in the game.

TYPICAL VOORD
Attributes: Awareness 2, Coordination 4, Ingenuity 2, Presence 2, Resolve 3, Strength 5
Skills: Athletics 2, Fighting 4, Science 1, Subterfuge 1, Technology 3, Transport (personal submarine) 3
Traits: Alien, Alien Appearance (Minor), Fear Factor 1, Tough. Story Points: 3-5
Home Tech Level: 7 [Equipment: Knife (+2 Strength bonus); Personal submarine (Armor 2/Immune to acid, Hit capacity 6, Speed 8)]

The Aztecs. David's GM skills are definitely stronger in research than they are world-building. Using Jackie's (and Barbara's) interest in Aztec culture, he decides to make that the next destination and give her a huge role. Because time hasn't been defined as either solid or rubbery yet, she actually tries to alter history (the prerogative of player characters who need not return to the accepted present). The Doctor of course rejects the idea, and silently, so does the GM who throws all manner of impediment at her, most in the manipulative form of Tlotoxl, the High Priest of Sacrifice. The Doctor gets to play some romance and almost gets married. Ian is made into a warrior, finally filling the niche William built him for. And Barbara plays the goddess. All thanks to David's research. Carole Ann will regret having missed a couple sessions.

TLOTOXL
Attributes: Awareness 3, Coordination 1, Ingenuity 3, Presence 4, Resolve 4, Strength 2
Skills: Convince 3, Craft 1, Fighting 1, Knowledge 2, Medicine 1, Subterfuge 3
Traits: Voice of Authority, Code of Conduct (Aztec), Unattractive. Story Points: 12
Home Tech Level: 2 [Equipment: Knife (+2 Strength bonus)]

The Sensorites. Maybe the GM should stick to historical adventures, even if it makes the players itch for some alien intervention. Yet another xenophobia story, and diminishing returns on his alien races. In no way does the Sense-Sphere live and breathe like the historical worlds did. But the attempt was to give Carole Ann's character Susan something to work with, and as per her request, create a situation where her psychic abilities will be of use. It's true that they've practically ignored them since the first session. And so, telepathic Sensorites. David just couldn't get into their heads and make them formidable antagonists, that's all. Jackie did NOT miss much by skipping a couple weeks.

TYPICAL SENSORITE
Attributes: Awareness 4, Coordination 2, Ingenuity 2, Presence 1, Resolve 4, Strength 1
Skills: Convince 2, Fighting 1, Knowledge 2, Marksman 1, Medicine 1, Science 2, Technology 3, Transport 2 (You may add 1-2 points in any skill, even one not listed based on the Sensorite's caste)
Traits: Alien, Alien Appearance (Minor), Environmental (can survive for a few minutes in the vacuum of space), Psychic Training, Weakness (Minor/Loud noises), Weakness (Minor/Darkness). Story Points: 2-4
Home Tech Level: 5 [Equipment: Hand ray 7(3/7/10); GADGET/Telepathy booster (Telepathy - exposure for humans may cause insanity if their minds are "opened" by strong emotions and they fail a Resolve+Ingenuity check)]

The Reign of Terror. Just like Jackie had been mentioning the Aztecs, Billy and Carole Ann seemed fond of the French Revolution. The GM tries something new to hilarious effect. As the characters get separated, so does he separate the players in different rooms. The unintended result is that though they keep mounting rescues of one another, they keep missing each other. Still, the GM manages to bring this part of history to life half way between realism and literature, though it's starting to look more and more like Carole Ann is having a hard time finding ways of making Susan useful.

The season finale is in September, and GM David will leave after the New Year, though he's asked his friend Dennis, who helped with the French Revolution research, to perhaps take over. Carole Ann decides to stay until David leaves, giving him a chance to help write her out. But let's not get ahead of ourselves, that's a matter for Season 2!

Doctor Who #43: Planet of Giants

2012-01-04T06:00:00.004-04:00

"I always forget the niceties under pressure."
TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 1 of Planet of Giants, a story that is scheduled for DVD release sometime in 2012. I will just have to watch it on You-Tube. First aired Oct.31 1964.

IN THIS ONE... The TARDIS crew is reduced to an inch in size. As they explore, they come across many dead insects. In the normal-sized world, a man is killed for opposing the manufacture of a dangerous insecticide.

REVIEW: HONEY, I SHRUNK THE DOCTOR!!! It's a ridiculous premise. The TARDIS crew has been SHRUNK to minute size and must undertake an epic trek from the front garden to the house. And though yes, it is absurd and quite unlike anything that'll ever happen to the TARDIS again, it's a classic science-fiction trope. Even Deep Space 9 did it, and that was a usually serious show. Fact is, it's fun to see how very small things would look if you were even smaller, and the props are all well made, excepted perhaps the grass painted on the wall. This first episode is about exploration, and the characters discovering what situation they are in, though it is, of course, rather spoiled by the episode title. The irony is that this strange environment is actually their home. The Doctor's managed it... except not.

And speaking of "environment", Planet of Giants is an eco-fable, probably before such things were common (the ultimate eco-fable, Dune, was being serialized in Analog though). For in the normally scaled world, we have Forrester, a ruthless insecticide producer, silencing permit-withholder Farrow's distracting whistling lisp, neither character destined to interact with the cast. That's an interesting twist, at any rate. No, the cast will instead come to understand the plot from a unique vantage point. They've found all the dead bugs, might even have gotten themselves contaminated, and when a loud cannon seems to be fired in the distance, it can only mean a harsh murder has been committed. In fact, that would explain the giant dead body. (I like how Ian puts a handkerchief in front of his mouth to check his breath. It's all in the details.)

Louis Marks' first of four Doctor Who scripts is well realized by director Mervyn Pinfield, especially the sequence that intercuts between two conversations that are apparently exactly the same (it was once said Time Lords all have the same mind, something for our Theories section one day, surely). No editing required, it was all done live in those days. An alien world in one's front yard would hopefully connect with the kids, and it remains one of the easier episodes to restage using one's action figures. And though the insects are dead, it's not a world without danger. In addition to falling prey to the poison that killed those bugs, there's the giant cat leering at the TARDISeers. The black calico cat doesn't photograph very well, in my opinion, but its markings do make it seem more malevolent than cute, so I suppose it's a good choice. Given what little interest cats have in acting (as opposed to improvising), they're lucky to get any cat at all.

THEORIES: So how can the TARDIS and its crew get shrunk during materialization?! Well, if we look at the Doctor's dialog, we may get a few clues, but don't go looking for strong scientific principles in the bafflegab. The relevant line is "there we were in the late eighteenth century and I tried another frequency to sidestep the ship back into the middle of the twentieth century." The key words seem to be FREQUENCY and SIDESTEP. Is there more than one way to travel the space-time vortex? And would taking a shortcut, as it were, have unforeseen consequences like these? By changing the TARDIS' "frequency" (which I understand to mean the modulation of its quantum vibrations), it changes the nature of the ship, and thus of its interior dimensions. Perhaps the trouble is that the frequency was not re-synchronized with our universe when it materialized, creating a spatial discrepancy. What if the side-step was actually a sideways trip to a parallel dimension (à la Pete's World in Rise of the Cybermen), one which was simply bigger, just as Pete's World's time is faster? That might be easier to accept than the idea that you could theoretically rig the TARDIS dimensions to a smaller scale, and just look at that title, but episode 3 features a seed shrinking as proof of the TARDIS growing, so it doesn't agree.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium - This kind of thing is just good fun, and look, there's even a message about respecting the ecosystem. Nothing epic or anything, just a quirky change of pace. (But at the very start of a season?)

Siskoid Awards 2011 - Technical Achievement Ceremony

2012-01-03T06:00:00.007-04:00

The Siskoid Awards are just like the Oscars, you know. Only with 100% less Billy Crystal. And as with the Academy Awards, the Technical Achievement Ceremony is a thinly veiled excuse to have a pretty girl host an awards show for the stuff that didn't fit in yesterday. At the Oscars, these would be for stuff like CG follicle simulations and things. At the SBG, anything goes, really.

So let's say hello to our hostess, the first American to get the job, Alison Brie from the popular* tv series Community! Aw, she's lovely.

Geek wedding of 2011 - David Tennant and Georgia Moffit. They tied the knot on the 31st, just in time, but I would have given them the prize regardless. Think about it. The 10th Doctor marries the Doctor's Daughter, who is the real life daughter of the Fifth Doctor. It's a wedding that actually makes two Doctors FAMILY. Their progeny was my one-time guess for River Song's identity.

Best movie look-alike for New Brunswick of 2011 - Daytime Drinking. Who knew that give or take a pine forest, South Korea could stand in for my home province? I now have plans to remake the film here with Colt .45 as a sponsor. Second place goes to Pressure Point, but since it was only made in Quebec, the similarities are kind of expected.

Best podcast of 2011 - How Did This Get Made? Paul Sheer and his crew of brave souls sit down to watch some of the worst films ever made and then do the only thing you can in that situation, point at them and laugh. Reminds me that I've got to catch up on the episodes I missed.

Best Kung Fu move of 2011 - Pai Mei's Deadly Crotch Grab. Has to be seen to be believed. That sound will haunt me forever.

Strangest movie meme of 2011 - The amputation biopic. With 127 Hours getting some Oscar nods in 2011, it seemed to spawn copycats (as Hollywood somehow always manages to), including the true stories of surfing/shark incident in Soul Surfer, and a dolphin amputee in Dolphin Tale. Strange fad.

***VAN DAMMATHON FALLOUT***
Character find of 2011 (male) - Uncle Douvee (Wilford Brimley) in Hard Target. An over-60 Cajun action hero who makes explosive moonshine was just what the doctor ordered to close out my year.
Character find of 2011 (female) - Taxiwoman in JCDV (Jenny De Chez - who I'm guessing is a non-actor). Hilarious performance on all levels. Her unforgiving nature when Van Damme wants some peace and quiet in the cab ride from the airport. Her screams that sound like a car alarm. It's wonderful stuff. If I had a car, I'd want it to sound just like that.

Ironic 1% victory of 2011 - The Guy Fawkes mask (Warner Bros.). Seems like the 99% movement's adoption of the Fawkes mask from V for Vendetta has netted one of the 1% billions of dollars. Yes, BILLIONS! According to this NY Times article anyway. It's getting really hard to protest capitalism, isn't it?

"Person" of the Year - The Mixed Message. (Hey, if Time Magazine can keep crowning concepts, so can I.) The Fawkes story above is only one example of a communications problem I came across all year, both personally and professionally. The 99% (or Occupy) movement came to my town, of course, fighting corporations armed with iPads and wearing Converse shoes. Then they wondered why they weren't being taken seriously. I made my point about DC's New 52 yesterday, but here's another nail in the coffin: Folks at DC are disappointed the fanboys are obsessing about continuity instead of talking about the stories. But see, by spouting all that hogwash about how continuity was the big evil and needed to be discarded (and yet only discarding it here and there), they MADE IT about continuity. And so it went all year in the media and where I work (can't really talk about that here), people saying things they shouldn't, launching campaigns designed to fail, never really knowing they were killing their own message through how they presented it.

And that wraps up this magical, pre-taped, night! Once again, my thanks to Alison Brie for her fine work here and elsewhere, and we'll see you next year for more Siskoid Awards!

*If I say it's popular often enough, it'll become true, right?

Doctor Who #42: Prisoners of the Conciergerie

2012-01-03T06:00:00.001-04:00

"Our lives are important, at least to us. But as we see, so we learn."TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 6 of The Reign of Terror. First aired Sep.12 1964.

IN THIS ONE... Lemaitre turns out to be James Sterling. Our heroes witness the rise of Napoleon and the downfall of Robespierre. And the Doctor gets Susan out of prison.

REVIEW: If The Reign of Terror had two basic sources - history and melodrama - this is where both become excessive and almost derail the story. To begin with, the melodrama gets pretty convoluted as Lemaitre reveals himself to be the English spy Ian had been looking for (kinda) all along. It explains why he wasn't exactly against our heroes, but still seems contrived. He's a superspy who had access to the dying prisoner, but needs Ian to reveal a thin dribble of information (after all, the big secret imparted to Ian was the name "James Sterling"). Sterling was undercover so deep, he was actually signing off on executions. But suddenly, he's a trusted ally, no questions asked, and the TARDISeers even help him spy on a secret meeting with a badly cast Napoleon (how does Ian recognize him when he lacks any of the historical figure's clichés?).

Why they should do this is explained by the historical excesses of the script. While an occasional scene with Robespierre was fine, here the characters are relegated to witnessing history. Oh, it's a fun "Mission: Impossible"-type scene, with Barbara disguised as a barmaid, and Ian cutting peepholes in walls and adopting a funny voice. But it doesn't really make sense they should go out of their way to discover what Barbara would already have known as a history teacher. The spy mission is just prologue to a history lesson for the audience. It's well-written, naturalistic-sounding exposition, but exposition nonetheless. And since the characters are about to leave the era, none of it really matters. While this is going on, the Doctor and Sterling go to see Robespierre, and here again, just watch as history unfolds and Robespierre is shot in the jaw. While there's no gore, it's rather unsettling to see the man keep a hand on his face, unable to speak the rhetoric that put him in power. And while history takes center stage, the STORY pretty much stops. Susan finally appears at the end of the episode, sprung from jail in the ensuing chaos.

The season finale is marked by a coda inside the TARDIS, as we dissolve to outer space and hear the Doctor talk about the crew's destiny. It's a lovely moment, one that was apparently written as a possible ending in case the series did not return. It's clear that by the time it was filmed, they knew they'd return, because a title card announces the next episode. But it's nice that the first season is given a little send-off. Lessons learned, and the characters, almost symbolically, taking off their period costumes.

THEORIES: We're still tracking how history works, and the ambiguity, as always, comes from the Doctor's evasive remarks. There's a discussion at the end about how Robespierre's downfall and Napoleon's rise were inevitable, just like the Aztecs' fate. Ian wonders what would have happened if he's given Napoleon a letter detailing his future. Susan replies: "It wouldn't have made any difference, Ian. He would have forgotten it, or lost it, or thought it was written by a maniac." She seems to say that history is "solid" and cannot be changed. It will somehow contrive to set itself straight. This is what Barbara understands by it when she says: "I suppose if we'd tried to kill him with a gun, the bullet would have missed him." But the Doctor muddies the water with: "Well, it's hardly fair to speculate, is it? No, I'm afraid you belittle things." He says it's an over-simplification and wants to change the subject. So is it possible to change history with a bullet? Are there things history cannot so easily bounce back from? The series as a whole would seem to agree with this. It is elastic enough to allow time travelers to interact with history, but extreme action could lead to extreme changes. After all, why are time-traveling Daleks a threat if they can't possibly change anything? It's pretty certain the French Revolution is one of the "fixed points" the New Series described, so probably harder and more dangerous to make changes to as well.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium - A bungled ending to the story, if not to the season. This is where the educational mandate of the show finally does harm to its entertainment mandate.

STORY REWATCHABILITY: Medium - It doesn't meander like Marco Polo did, but it isn't as tightly constructed as The Aztecs was. The Reign of Terror falls somewhere in the middle. It subverts expectations and has something to say about history and how it is portrayed in the program, but there's too little to the plot for a stronger recommendation. It certainly doesn't help that it falls apart at the end.

The Siskoid Awards 2011

2012-01-02T06:05:00.005-04:00

Welcome to the new year! That's right, it's time for our annual Geek Gala! Come in from the cold and the smelly red carpet (that's not its original color, guys) and have a seat!

Once again, I'm rewarding excellence in stuff I've seen, heard or read this year (regardless of when it was originally released). As usual, only newly experienced material will be up for consideration (or else I'd just watch BSG once a year and be done with it - then cause myself grievous harm, probably). For television episodes, no more than one per show can be put up for nomination. Other limits may apply. No money or prizes will actually be awarded. Thanks for not trying to collect.

Best Book of 2011 - The runners up are...
5. Chicks Dig Time Lords (Mad Norwegian)
4. Supergods (Grant Morrison)
3. Write More Good (Bureau Chiefs)
2. Manhood for Amateurs (Michael Chabon)
...and the Siskoid goes to: Arthur & George (Julian Barnes) - We're starting the new year with a Sherlock Holmes movie in theaters and a new series of Steven Moffat's Sherlock on tv, so it seems somehow appropriate to have Barnes' 2005 novel about Arthur Conan Doyle hit the top of the chart. Here's what I said about it last summer: "A wonderful novel, I think of interest to Sherlock Holmes fans. The novel is told from the points of view of both Arthur Conan Doyle and George Edalji, the half-Indian solicitor who was wrongfully convicted of the 'Great Wyrley Outrages', a series of animal mutilations in a rural area. The lives of both men are contrasted, Barnes using a different style for each (Doyle's is literary, while the simpler George is all present tense) and they in fact do not meet until late in the book. Awesomely researched, lightly comic and a real page turner when you get to the trial and Doyle's later investigations, Barnes produces here two superb character studies based on available sources. I haven't enjoyed one of his novels this much since, oh, my very first touch of Barnes (and I've nearly read them all), A History of the World in 10½ Chapters."

Best Comic of 2011 - The runners up are...
5. The Guild specials (Felicia Day and various artists and co-writers)
4. Infinite Vacation (Spencer and Ward)
3. Daredevil (Waid and Rivera)
2. Incredible Change-Bots Two (Jeffrey Brown)
...and the Siskoid goes to: Infinite Kung Fu (Kagan McLeod) - I was stoked to see it on other year's best lists on the Internet, and you should hear more about it from me and others in January if podcast plans work out like they should, but here's what I said in my capsule review: "Infinite Kung Fu is a 450-page trade collection of Kagan McLeod's incredibly entertaining martial arts comics series. McLeod re-imagines the "martial world" of his favorite kung fu movies as an amalgamated place where Shaolin monks are able to meet blaxploitation stars, a timeless place of action and zen Buddhism. It's also a magical world, where spirits return to dead bodies causing a zombie infestation of epic proportions, which the Eight Immortals have tasked the few students who haven't turned to the dark side (poison kung fu - an obvious wink to the Five Deadly Venoms) to stop. Wonderfully imaginative, McLeod's fluid, black&white, watercolor&ink art excels at showing the action both in large panoramas and in intimate play-by-play sequences between the good and evil masters. And throughout, winks and nods to great martial arts films from both sides of the world, there for those who can appreciate them. Get it direct from Top Shelf if you can't find it elsewhere!"

Best Film of 2011 - The runners up are...
5. The King's Speech (Tom Hooper)
4. The Social Network (David Fincher)
3. Hard Core Logo (Bruce McDonald)
2. JCVD (Mabrouk El Mechri)
...and the Siskoid goes to: Three Colors: Red (Krzysztof Kieslowski) - I (re)discovered Kieslowski's work this year and it's really wonderful. I knew one of his films was taking the prize, but it was difficult to choose which one. Ultimately, it's Red I was most impressed with, as it feels like a culmination of what he was doing in the early 90s, regrettably at the end of his life: "Rouge reunites Kieślowski with Irène Jacob, with whom he worked with on The Double Life of Veronique (the film that made her a star), and takes place in her native Geneva. She plays a storm-tossed, kind-hearted model who, through chance (and chance is a huge theme in Red), meets a bitter retired judge (Jean-Louis Trintignant) who spies on his neighbors and has a strange prescience. Through their stories we discover a thick web of coincidence and mirror images that makes this last part of the Three Colors trilogy the most mysterious and intriguing. If Blue was a subverted tragedy, and White a dark, dry comedy, Red is less easy to classify. To me, it is a fable, one of pure movie making, that uses images in a way that would, to most readers of this blog, be reminiscent of the way Moore and Gibbon do in Watchmen. The ironic intricacies of the film make it my favorite of the three. Irène Jacob simply breaks my heart in every frame."

Best TV Series of 2011 - The runners up are...
5. Doctor Who Series 6
4. How I Met Your Mother Season 1-6
3. Community Seasons 1-2
2. Coupling Series 1-4
...and the Siskoid goes to: Sarah Jane Adventures Season 4 - I'm as surprised as you are! It came in at the very end of the year and scooped a lot of excellent television (and I watched a LOT this year). Oh, I'll admit to still being a little weepy about it, but freshness aside, it did make me laugh, cry and miss Elisabeth Sladen terribly. Sarah was always the draw, but I think this is the season where the kids come into their own and become just as much a reason to keep watching. I don't think anything else I've seen this year deserves to be called a "perfect season".

Best TV Episode of 2011 - The runners up are...
5. Pilot (Alias Season 1)
4. Chuck vs. the Marriage Proposal (Chuck Season 4)
3. Split (Coupling Series 3)
2. The Girl Who Waited (Doctor Who Series 6)
...and the Siskoid goes to: Advanced Dungeons & Dragons (Community Season 2) - Another one that's very hard to call, but Siskoid's Blog of Geekery wouldn't be living up to its name if it didn't acknowledge the geekiest thing ever broadcast on network tv. It's a bottle show that doesn't attempt to represent the characters' imaginations in any way, but stays true to the spirit of tabletop role-playing (if not the letter of the rules... at least, I've never played it like that even if I consider myself a narrativist), pokes fun at it, but doesn't condescend to it, and at its heart, is about saving a person's life. Bonus points for using 1st edition AD&D books. It somehow makes people sitting around a table talking EPIC. And isn't that a true RPG experience? Bonus bonus points for taking Pierce down the darkest of paths. Anybody want to save this series from extinction yet?

Best CD of 2011 - The runners up are...
5. Year of the Pig (Big Finish's Matthew Sweet)
4. Son of the Dragon (Big Finish's Steve Lyons)
3. The Girl Who Never Was (Big Finish's Alan Barnes)
2. Doctor Who Series 5 soundtrack (Murray Gold)
...and the Siskoid goes to: Roses are Red, Violets are Blue (Trocadero) - I never imagined an album of music inspired (and used) by a web series based on a video game would become my most listened-to album of the year, but there it is. Trocadero did all the music for Red vs. Blue, the comedy web series based in the Halo universe, and their Tex-Blues sound is perfect for the dusty isolated melancholy of Blood Gulch, but the music isn't a slave to the RvB story. Though Blood Gulch Blues and A Girl Named Tex have obvious links to it, all the songs stand on their own and aren't "jokey" despite having a certain wry humor. Great driving music too. Get into my Warthog and let's go!

Stupidest Move in the Geekaverse 2011 - The runners up are...
5. Dalek Car for toddlers! (Zappies)
4. Rob Liefeld slags off Stan Lee (Rob)
3. Bookstores yanking DC trades off the shelves because of a Kindle deal (Barnes & Nobles)
2. Wonder Woman is Ally McBeal (David E. Kelley)
...and the Siskoid goes to: Flushpoint! - Has there ever been a more ill-conceived and mismanaged move by a comic book company than the New52 "don't call it a reboot" reboot? Don't misunderstand me, there are some excellent books in the New 52, but almost all of them would have worked in the original universe. Last September, DC threw out the baby with the bathwater in the hopes of getting into an untapped reader pool that I doubt has materialized by using the same old writers and artists, and even regressing to some kind of 90s Image/Marvel mentality of splashy art, less story, antiheroes and terrible designs. (Putting Liefeld on a monthly book ALONE would rate a spot on this list.) Too early to tell if they got new readers out of it, but I know they lost some with their "jumping on/off point". Fan outrage over the loss of Oracle, overt sexism in Red Hood, Catwoman and Voodoo, and the renumbering of flagship titles like Action and Detective (when I got into comics, these were in the late 400s and didn't scare me away) have generated a lot of bad publicity, and DC's hope that readers could try so many titles in a single month (much less support them monthly) when they're offering fewer pages for the same money and same-price digital will likely cause an implosion like that of the 70s. That's sure to piss off fans of the books not pulling their weight, not because they're bad, but because they were thrown into too big a pond killer brand recognition sharks. The decision to reboot continues to be unjustifiable, seeing as DC's last event books (Brightest Day and Gen Lost) had made promises that could never be made good on, and the recent release of some Batman Inc. issues as a non-continuity special shows how little planning went into it. And then there's the whole communication snafu, which I've promised to write a proper article about (for once, commenting on something that is actually my field), but which includes creators/editors making censurable comments (like DiDio's public reaction to people criticizing the lack of female creators on the new books) and the appearance of corruption in the way Johns and Lee have profited from the change, as opposed to other creators. But I've gone on too long. No matter what good comes from the New 52 initiative - and there will always be some good comics at DC - it will always stand out as one of the worst handled moves in comic book history.

What would YOUR picks look like? Tomorrow: The Technical Achievement Awards as given in a ceremony prior to this one!

Doctor Who #41: A Bargain of Necessity

2012-01-02T06:00:00.004-04:00

"There can be no loyalty or honour where anarchy prevails."TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 5 of The Reign of Terror. This episode is missing so I'll be watching Loose Cannon's reconstruction (Part 1, Part 2). First aired Sep.5 1964.

IN THIS ONE... Jules rescues Ian and kills that traitor Léon. The Doctor lets Barbara loose to return to Jules' place, but fails to free Susan. Lemaitre holds her hostage to force the Doctor to lead him to the rebels' hideout.

REVIEW: While SF adventures have presented the future as a morally black and white territory, the historicals have existed in a grayer zone, and it's most definitely the thesis of this episode. Its best scene has Barbara defend the French Revolution as a world-changing one that did a lot of good. And yet, we've also got the harsh evidence before our eyes - paranoia, massacre and betrayal - which Ian speaks to. Both characters have a personal bias - she had affection for Léon while Ian was tortured by him - but their fields of study also shine through. Barbara looks at the historical "big picture", while Ian, the scientist, puts more trust in experiential data. And to remind us that even history isn't cut and dried, Jules is presented as a student of Reason, advocating order over chaos. He isn't an aristocrat fighting to survive, but a man who believes the Revolution is wrong and dangerous.

Otherwise, it's another game of who's in prison and who isn't. The Doctor releases Barbara, but is held at ransom by Lemaitre through Susan. Lemaitre hasn't arrested the Doctor because he wants friends on all sides, and he may be right. The crap is about to hit the fan in Robespierre's camp, with the military possibly siding with one of their own against the present leadership. (Guess with whom?) I shouldn't want to be that poor jailer, only given partial information and meant to do the right thing by Lemaitre. Of course, it doesn't help that he's always drunk. Through the Doctor, Lemaitre hopes to ferret out Jules, and ultimately, the English spy James Sterling. This guy better be worth it, because we hear about him in every episode and yet don't really know a single thing about him. Episode 6, here we come.

THEORIES: Susan seems to have recovered from her illness without help. A 24-hour flu? That telepathic thing I mentioned a couple days ago? Or is it all psychosomatic and all she needed was to be reunited with her grandfather? (As a Time Lord, perhaps he supplies a certain level of telepathic activity, if one were inclined to submit to my theory.)

VERSIONS: When the animated version comes out on DVD, expect a revision in this space.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium-High - That Barbara-Ian argument alone is worth the price of admission, but you also get a bit of action, the Doctor's fast talking, and some political intrigue with your ticket.

This Week in Geek (26/12/11-01/01/12)

2012-01-01T09:15:00.004-04:00

Buys

On DVD, I got the third volume of Primeval (see below), and to supplement our Kung Fu Fridays experience with non-Chinese movies, Destroy All Monsters and the Kung Fu Panda suite.

"Accomplishments"

In theaters: Went to see Sherlock Holmes - A Game of Shadows, and while it was a rather different animal than the first film, it was still an excellent entertainment. One might make the complaint that there's less mystery and more action in this one, but Moriarty deserves this more epic, international scope, and that great triple fight finale. Watson and his wife Mary get much more to do (the former getting his own nemesis), and even Sherlock's brother Mycroft (Stephen Fry) makes a delicious contribution. Guy Ritchie does go overboard with both the gay subtext and the "master of disguise" elements, but they come off as amusing rather than irritating. If you're looking for "more of the same, but different", I think you won't be disappointed by this particular sequel.

DVDs: If Children of Earth was Torchwood finally getting it right, Season 4 was Sarah Jane Adventures doing the same. It no doubt helps that the kids are older now (Clyde and Rani can now carry an entire story), but the writers have stepped up their game as well. The comedy actually works, and are well contrasted by heartfelt, touching moments. The Lis Sladen memorial card right at the top of the first episode certainly put me in a weepy mood, but that's only part of it. Luke contemplates leaving home in that one, and it's just a beautiful piece about friendship. The 11th Doctor's guest appearance is 100 times better than the 10th's in the previous season, and thanks to the return of Jo Grant, acts as a wonderful tribute to many past companions (find out what happened to quite a few!). The other episodes all have something to offer as well, and Sarah Jane's illness in the finale is heartwrenching because of what we know of Elisabeth Sladen. No extras on this DVD. Here's hoping a half-sized Season 5 DVD will include the tributes she most richly deserves. Sorry, I've got to get a tissue.

Primeval vol.3 includes the 13 episodes of what are called Seasons 4 and 5, which both came out in 2011 (spread apart in the same way Doctor Who Series 6 was). The previous series was broadcast 2 years prior, so it was a long time to wait to see the cliffhanger resolved. Good news: They seamlessly return us to the adventures of the world's best dinosaur-hunting crew, and manage to raise the stakes in the process. Abby and Connor are, as ever, the heart and soul of the series, but they've pulled a Ianto on the Arc administrator James Lister, i.e. his sarcastic wit is the best thing about these series. And I'm always happy to see Alexander Siddig on anything, bonus points for drafting him in. For fans of the series, there are a couple of surprise returns, and though it all ends epically enough, there's the usual Primeval cliffhanger tease. Another series could be in the works for 2013. I'm ok with that, but might've liked a definite ending right here on what I would have considered a high. The DVD also includes the prequel webisodes, and a lackluster making of.

In order to completely flip my Alejandro Jodorowski boxed set, I watched La Cravate, an early 20-minute film recently recovered (the box says 35 minutes, don't believe it) in an attic, apparently, a low-budget but charming mime act about a shop where you can exchange heads. Or if you prefer, about finding the person who will accept you for who you are. It's the only film in the set that Jodorowski doesn't do a commentary for, but the case interior publishes his thoughts on the matter. He's a little embarrassed by such an amateurish effort. Sure, it's something of a student film, but it bears the mark of his unique brand of symbolic film-making without any of its excesses.

Next up, cult favorite The Last Starfighter, the prototypical 80s fantasy of having your arcade game "investment" turning into real world skills. From the director and designer commentary, they set out to make a corny family film, and they succeeded at that. Something to watch with your kids on a rainy Saturday afternoon, and not to be taken seriously, though it does act as a metaphor for moving from home and growing up. And of course, it's historically the first film to use CGI for an entire film to render photo-real elements (sorry, Tron!). And these stand up for the most part, even if they seem dated today. Not far off from such tv productions as Babylon 5 or Space: Above and Beyond. It's the script that doesn't really rise to the occasion. Either there should have been more comedy in the outer space stuff, or the outer space stuff needed to be more fleshed out, but as is, The Last Starfighter is merely "pleasant". Two making ofs - one 15 years after the film was made, the other 25 - off a retrospective look with plenty of interviews with cast and crew, and the amazing story of how the effects were created, but expect some redundancies. There's also a huge photo/design drawing gallery to flip through, with title cards explaining their contexts.

Like Water for Chocolate is a wonderful Mexican film, a romance that spans decades in which the title character's feelings and desires are magically communicated through the food she prepares. Based on the best-selling book by Laura Esquivel (which you'll still need if you want the recipes), the movie does a good job of rendering the magical realism of the book into film terms, at once funny, touching and always surprising. I loved it in 1992, and I still love it now, though I do wish the DVD had a little more to offer to support this unusual experience.

The biggest surprise about Out of Sight is that Jennifer Lopez is so SMOKIN' HOT as U.S. marshal Karen Sisco, by which I mean how well she holds the screen. This wasn't really issue back in '98 when I saw the film in thearters, but since? Why can't all her performances be this good? Maybe it's her chemistry with George Clooney, who plays escaped bank robber Jack Foley. Maybe it's Steven Soderbergh's awesome direction (the centerpiece for me is the "second date" in the hotel, the way it's intercut and the dialog laced in. Maybe it's Elmore Leonard's original material. Whatever the case may be, Out of Sight is an electric romance set in a crime movie full of ironic humor (Tarantino fans will love it, for example, and it even has a connection to Jackie Brown). The casting is spectacularly good - Catherine Keener, Albert Brooks, Ving Rhames, Micheal Keaton, Don Cheadle, Steve Zahn, Samuel Jackson, Luis Guzmán, Dennis Farina... That's just off the top of my head. The director and scriptwriter share a critical but useful commentary track, and there are about 20 minutes of deleted or alternate scenes, and a good making of (that doesn't forget to talk to Elmore Leonard).

It was a long week. I dipped into my Oscar Pile (crap films I won in our annual Oscar pool). I am living now to regret it. The film? An unambitious thriller called Pressure Point, starring Michael Madsen as a father of a family who bumps into a fugitive on their way to a camping trip. If it kept my interest at all, it's that the wet and dreary landscape seemed so familiar. It could have been shot 1 km from my home. Turns out, it's Quebec, so not THAT far off. Otherwise... Jeff Wincott plays the typical unmotivated villain who is evil for its own sake, and Madsen never seems comfortable in the hero's role. Worse is the distraught sheriff who means to avenge his dead wife, badly played by Steve Adams. It's the stupidest part of the script, requiring characters to abandon all reason when dealing with him. So as the movie progresses, it gets stupider and stupider. Only the actresses are engaging at all, in particular Michelle Scarabelli as the deputy sheriff. If at least it achieved some kind of drinking game B-movie grandeur, but no, it's at about the level of an 80s tv movie.

Hyperion to a Satyr posts this week:
III.i. The Nunnery Scene - Classics Illustrated
III.i. The Nunnery Scene - French Rock Opera

Doctor Who #40: The Tyrant of France

2012-01-01T06:00:00.004-04:00

"I could - and I shall - do great things for France. For too long the Nobility have kept our people to heel. And now finally, my world is at power, what happens? My colleagues, my trusted friends, plot for power!"TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 4 of The Reign of Terror. This episode is missing so I'll be watching Loose Cannon's reconstruction, like I did for the whole of Marco Polo (Part 1, Part 2). First aired Aug.29 1964.

IN THIS ONE... The Doctor meets Robespierre, but is kept at the prison by Lemaitre. Ian is reunited with Barbara and Susan. The former is betrayed by Léon, and the girls by Susan's physician.

REVIEW: Spooner continues to insert nice little inversions in his script. We finally meet Robespierre, only to find out he's in the throes of terror too! You can't see it from the surviving stills, but he gets rather animated, worried about his legacy and yet unable to stop the massacre because of his paranoia (even though there seem to be more people plotting for him than against him at this point). It may seem strange that the Doctor tries to persuading him to stop the killings when they are a matter of historical fact - isn't this what he warned Barbara against in The Aztecs? - but I think he's manipulating the conversation to get himself thrown out before he's forced to talk about his "province" and show his hand. The ambiguity may be the result of the missing video. The other neat inversion, of course, is that in attempting to free his (already loose) friends from jail, the Doctor has become trapped there. What Lemaitre hopes to gain from not telling the Doctor he knows he's lying is left for another time (but see Theories).

In Les Miserables section of the script, coincidences continue to pile up. Rebels Jules and Jean find Ian lurking about (well, his dying cellmate did give him Jules' name) and hit him upside the head. He's happily reunited with the girls, who he must have thought dead. And they all must wonder if the Doctor died in that fire, even if not much fuss is made about it. They'll soon be reunited anyway. Barbara and Susan are betrayed by the physician treating the younger girl's mysterious illness (it was either that or leeches), and Ian is captured by Léon who, unsurprisingly, turns out to be the group's traitor. I sure hope Susan was wrong about the attraction between Barbara and that Judas.

THEORIES: Have you heard the one about Lemaitre being the Master in disguise? In the early 70s, when the Master was originally introduced, he would often show up in a story in disguise and using some form of the word "Master", either an anagram or in another language. "Le maître" is, of course, "The Master" in French. If Lemaitre is the Master, he doesn't show his hand, nor does the Doctor recognize him as a Time Lord. However, it could help explain why he doesn't actually arrest the Doctor when he sees the Time Lord ring. He just keeps him around. But why would the Master slum it in 18t-century France? He just likes watching executions? No, while Mark Gatiss would reuse the moniker for the Master in his Third Doctor novel, The Last of the Gaderene, not even continuity obsessive Gary Russell has tried to pin Reign's Lemaitre on the evil Time Lord. Because if there were a way to do so, I can assure you Gary Russell would have found it. Episode 6 will make the difficulties obvious.

VERSIONS: When the animated version comes out on DVD, expect a revision in this space.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium - Despite having its moments, the plot provides another back and forth between freedom and the Conciergerie and serves as an appeal to tighten the stories to 4 episodes.

Reign of the Supermen #406: Son of Superman

2011-12-31T09:54:00.002-04:00

Source: Son of Superman GN (1999)
Type: ElseworldsIn this Howard Chaykin, David Tischman, J.H. Williams III, Mike Gray effort, we're transported some 20 years into the DCU's future (as seen from 1999). Superman's been gone, presumed dead, for 15 years. LexCorp has bought out the U.S. government. The rights and freedoms of the 99% have been curtailed. And the Justice League has been co-opted by the State. Except for Wonder Woman, the Justice Leaguers haven't aged well at all. But then, all the women in this HAVE. Lois Lane is a saucy blond-dyed milf writing screenplays for blockbuster films (let's just say she's reached the top 1%), and Lana looks good too. She and Pete Ross are running an Occupy the DCU movement, adopting Superman's insignia and calling themselves "the Supermen".
Amazonium armor (guess who's secretly financing them?) helps them commit what the Lex-controlled media calls "terrorist acts".

Enter Jon Kent, Lois' son. He never knew his father Clark, and now in his teens, he lacks direction. That all changes when a solar flare event activates latent Kryptonian powers (think Superman in the days when he could just leap over tall buildings). His mom would rather he didn't, but by gum, he's gonna be a superhero. Suddenly, he's lifting cars and kissing girls and getting consideration from the JLA. Instead of the big leagues, he winds up following the Supermen to a secret facility in Arizona, where he finds and liberates...
...his father!

But that's a Superman for another time. See you next week for the thrilling conclusion!

Doctor Who #39: A Change of Identity

2011-12-31T06:00:00.003-04:00

"It's a pity you're surrounded by such fools."
TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 3 of The Reign of Terror. First aired Aug.22 1964.

IN THIS ONE... Barbara and Susan are liberated by rebels and Ian escapes the Conciergerie, so they're not there when the Doctor shows up disguised as a regional officer to bust them all out.

REVIEW: What I like about The Reign of Terror is how subversive it is. In the midst of the French Revolution, it has its own little revolts, subverting audience expectations. Historicals have thus far been rather ennobling of the era represented, a heightened, even Shakespearean reality. Not this version of France, though. As the Doctor walks into Paris, he wrinkles his nose at how it stinks (much like Barbara did at the jailer's breath in the previous episode), old women run around coughing loudly, and you half expect the contents of some chamberpot to come splashing down on him. It's an earthy, smelly version of history. But it's still not a realistic one. Melodrama and comedy jostle with the very real threat of public execution. It's a fiction. But writer Dennis Spooner subverts that element too. We're naturally expecting the Doctor to bust his friends out of prison, but by the time he gets there, they've already escaped!

The plot leaves some things to be desired, however. For example, it strains credulity that a tailor shop would have badges of office the Doctor can use to fool the authorities. They're just asking for impostors. Ian also seems to delay his escape upon seeing the girls taken to the guillotine. While the piece of business with they key is well worked out (and I like how Ian's presence was kept strong despite the actor being on holiday), it still means the girls are probably dead by the time he gets out. You would have thought he'd have taken more of a risk in that situation. Then there's the traitor among the rebels, who pretty much has to be Léon because there's no one else. I could be wrong, of course, but from this episode's point of view, there's no mystery to the mystery. And of course, there's the matter of Susan being more than useless in this episode. What's wrong with her? (See Theories.)

What I can forgive is the melodramatic coincidence of how Barbara and Susan are rescued by the same people who got Rouvray and D'Argenson (from episode 1) out to that cottage. Somehow, it's like something out of Victor Hugo (an author I dislike, but still relevant to the period). Speaking of plot twists, there's also Lemaitre who seems to predict the jailer will end up jailed (will he?) and his letting Ian escape so he can lead him to the mysterious Sterling. It's hard to care about this subplot because it's unfolding so slowly, but events to date have shown that it's all connected. It's the Doctor who gets all the best scenes though, as he talks circles around the shopkeeper and the jailer, although the former isn't really fooled as we find out in the cliffhanger. It's also the first time the Doctor uses forged papers, but we're still very far away from psychic paper.

THEORIES: It's not really addressed, but following The Sensorites as this story does, we have to wonder if there isn't a connection between the Sensorite telepathic field and Susan's constant headaches. Might her brain have been damaged by the telepathic activity? Or might she even be in withdrawal? (Of course her illness can just be the result of having been thrown into a drafty 18th-century jail, but she's uncharacteristically irritable very early on, and "Theories" is all about over-analyzing stuff.)

REWATCHABILITY: Medium - There are too many plot holes to wholeheartedly recommend this episode, but it has amusing scenes and a diverting structure.

Kung Fu Fridays in January 2012

2011-12-30T06:05:00.002-04:00

New year, new month, new poster... Meet Jim Kelly AKA Black Belt Jones. On tap next month for my KFF Krew, films from four different countries...

Black Belt Jones (United States) - There's an important - if not necessarily "good" - part of Blaxploitation films that taps into the Kung Fu phenomenon, and Black Belt Jones is surely its purest manifestation. We last saw Jim Kelly in Enter the Dragon, but here he's the star and probably won't wind up on a meat hook.

Flying Guillotine (Hong Kong) - AKA Master of the Flying Guillotine AKA One-Armed Boxer 2 AKA The One Armed Boxer vs. the Flying Guillotine, this was a major inspiration for the Crazy 88s battle in Kill Bill, and it's finally out, fully restored and in the original Cantonese from Dragon Dynasty. About time.

A Better Tomorrow (South Korea) - While I'm waiting to get a good DVD version of John Woo's A Better Tomorrow (1986), we'll watch the Korean remake he produced in 2010. It's probably awesome anyway.

Norwegian Ninja (Norway) - Can Norway produce a proper martial arts film? The film's pedigree sounds insane. It stars Arne Treholt, who in 1985 was convicted of high treason and espionage on behalf of the Soviet Union and Iraq, as the leader of a ninja group saving Norway during the Cold War. It was written and directed by first-time director Thomas Cappelen Malling, author of "Ninja Technique II: Invisibility in combat 1978". How to achieve cult status in 3 seconds flat.

So that's how we're gonna warm the winter months. Secret handshakes will get you in for free.

Doctor Who #38: Guests of Madame Guillotine

2011-12-30T06:00:00.003-04:00

"I suppose you think you're very clever." "Well, without any undue modesty, yes!"TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 2 of The Reign of Terror. First aired Aug.15 1964.

IN THIS ONE... The Doctor is saved from the fires and heads for Paris, stopping on the way to forcibly join a work detail. In Paris, Barbara, Susan and Ian are jailed. Ian gets a strange mission, the girls get the guillotine.

REVIEW: We're kind of in a holding pattern with this one. While not without incident, three quarters of the cast spends its time in jail, while the other takes a long walk to Paris. If Ian (on film - it's William Russell's turn to go on holiday, if you're tracking this) hadn't gotten a strange mission from a dying cellmate and the Doctor been saved by the boy from the previous episode (Jean-Pierre), you could miss the episode and wouldn't even be the wiser. And yet, there's much to love in the character moments and direction by Henric Hirsh. The latter features some fun transitions, from Barbara trying to dig her way out of her cell to the Doctor digging as part of a forced work detail, for example. Or there's the stock footage of the guillotine at the start, reminding us that unspeakable violence is happening off screen, and linking all the way to Barbara and Susan's unseen fate in the cliffhanger.

Barbara is strong in this episode, refusing to give up even when Susan turns to pessimism. I'm pretty sure she'd have managed an escape too if it weren't for those darned rats. Is the Doctor's absence and possible death behind the girl's hopelessness? Or is this more of Susan's wish to stop traveling? An earlier prison scene has Barbara becoming the object of the jailer's lust, which earns him a hard slap, and her the worst cell in the block. It's played for laughs, of course, with Barbara rolling her eyes, but there's still a certain menace in the air. It's like the production can't quite go as dark as the historical era would have it. Ian, in a cell across the way, accepts the mission given him by a dying man, to find one James Sterling and see him safely to England. In this subplot, the only one that advances the story, really, we also meet Lemaitre, a mysterious rebel buster who obviously has the power to remove Ian's name from the execution list. More to come, I'm sure.

And then there's the Doctor, leisurely moving towards Paris in fields and country roads (the show's first location shooting, albeit with a stand-in). It's a long trek, and instead of telling us, Hirsh shows us. For example by revealing the stone the Doctor was resting on was actually a 5 km marker. Not unlike Barbara, the Doctor has an encounter that's at once threatening and humorous, in his case, with a greedy taskmaster driving a work party of tax evaders to exhaustion. His arrogance gets him drafted, but his cleverness gets him out again. The interplay between him and the "overseer" is good stuff regardless of their power dynamic, and though a little shocking, the fact the Doctor hits him on the head with a shovel is pretty funny. He's not hurt. He's snoring as the Doctor puts the coin the man coveted on his eye. So here again, harsh realities smoothed over with comedy. Those contrasts successfully, I think, make the episode ebb and flow between suspense and relief.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium - Good character moments, but almost plotless. Hopefully, the story will soon go somewhere without sacrificing any of its characterization and humor.

The Old 52: Atari Force

2011-12-29T06:05:00.003-04:00

If you haven't read it, it's new to you. Every month I try to supplement the New 52 with a series from the Old 52. Series I've never read, but have always meant to.When it was new: Atari Force was published by DC Comics for 20 consecutive issues between 1984 and 1985, with a Special in 1986. The first 13 issues were written by Gerry Conway, with art mostly supplied by José Luis Garcia Lopez, with Mike Barron and Eduardo Barreto taking over after that.

Premise: By the year 2028, humanity has resettled on New Earth, somewhere in the wide multiverse. Atari Force tells the story of a group of human and alien outsiders who face incredible odds to destroy a threat to all existence, while their own people are after them for stealing the ship Scanner-1.

Insert cartridge: I have no doubt that Atari Force's uncollected status is due to the long-lapsed licensing agreement with Atari, relegating this book to publishing limbo like Rom Spaceknight and the Micronauts. Not that is has very much to do with Atari aside from the name, the logo, and the fact the forgettable first volume of the comic came out in specific Atari 2600 cartridges (the whole story is retold in volume 2 as flashbacks, no worries). It's too bad, because its 20 issues represent a complete story with art by a handful of comic book rock stars.

Somehow, Conway and Barron have managed to craft a space opera with characters that have powers, abilities and code names (or at least a cool Will Magnus pipe) that would fit superheroes, without turning it into a superhero book. It's pretty obvious the focus was originally going to be the strained relationship between space explorer Martin Champion and his multiverse-powered son Chris, until the sexy mercenary Dart and her tragic love story with the one-eyed Blackjak pulled much of the attention. Which is awesome because Dart is a kickass female character. Joining them on the mission to find and stop the Cthulhoid-made-flesh Dark Destroyer are: Morphea, the charmingly sympathetic empath; Babe, a baby mountain (at least, that's what these aliens eventually become); Pakrat, a rat-like thief and frequent comic relief; the pet-like Hukka; and late-comer Taz, whose secret will surprise the reader. It's a full generation after the events of the first series, and the first year's arc ends on an epic note, after which Mike Barron takes over as writer, dealing with the aftermath and more resolutions. The series has a definite ending, albeit an open-ended one if you care to let your imagination run away with it. The 1986 special is somewhat disappointing, but it keeps the integrity of that ending by taking place at different points before it. There's an origin story for Dart, a Hukka comedy piece, and a lackluster story where the whole Force appears.

But as competent as this series is, it wouldn't be anywhere near as good without its unusually strong sense of design. Lopez's work is simply wonderful, full of innovative page layouts, dynamic action and detail. When he takes a breather for issues 4 and 5, he still inks over Ross Andru's more traditional pencils. Barreto definitely follows the style Lopez brought to the Atari universe, and when the book started doing comedic back-ups with some of its goofier stars, editor Andy Helfer brought in the big guns: Keith Giffen and Marshall Rogers on the Hukka (not simultaneously), Klaus Janson on Babe, Mike Chen on Pakrat, and Ed Hannigan on Taz. The unsung hero of Atari Force, however, is letterer Bob Lappan, who integrates sound effects into the art and creates more than a dozen alien languages and accents on the fly. Without him, the book would simply not have worked as it does, as evidenced by the Special, where his absence is deeply felt.

Trade in for one of the New52? Oh, for sure. I'd happily do away with something like Red Lanterns (trading aliens for aliens) to read such beautiful work.

Doctor Who #37: A Land of Fear

2011-12-29T06:00:00.004-04:00

"If we are to escape from France, we must have faith! If all people are incapable of our trust, we shall take the Terror with us!"TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 1 of The Reign of Terror, a story that should come out on DVD in 2012. Episodes 4 and 5 are missing - though a dozen short clips do exist - and will be animated for the DVD release. In the meantime, the extant episodes are available from Internet sources such as Dailymotion. First aired Aug.8 1964.

IN THIS ONE... The TARDIS lands in Revolutionary France where Barbara, Ian and Susan are captured by soldiers and the Doctor is left to die inside a burning cottage.

REVIEW: By the start of this episode, the harsh tone of the previous cliffhanger has smoothed itself out somewhat. The Doctor is still in a bad mood, but he claims to have gotten the teachers home, as opposed to getting ready to throw them out even if they landed in an alien volcano. It certainly plays better that way, and Ian and Barbara do try to leave on the best possible terms, even if it does lead to an odd scene in which Barbara bats her eyelashes and picks lint off the Doctor's jacket. This incarnation was rather susceptible to flattery, wasn't it? It's the closest thing Susan will have to a goodbye scene with her favorite teachers (as we'll see), rushed and tearful hugs before running off to her room. But of course, the Doctor HASN'T gotten them home, which is made plain to the audience, if not the characters, as soon as we see that scruffy, hunched over boy. The teachers are wistful more than disappointed, and of course, Susan cheers up. In a cottage, they find a chest that acts as a "going native" kit, and they're ready for adventure in what turns out to be 18th-century France in the dangerous days of the Revolution.

Writer Dennis Spooner uses the "Reign of Terror" quite literally, keeping the characters well off-balance. For example, when we meet Rouvray and the terrified D'Argenson, the show's logic would dictate that they be this story's main "ally" guest-stars, but they are shot and killed before the end of the episode! The soldiers are a jovial, but uncontrollable lot, not quite following their captain's instructions and taking pleasure in simple death and destruction. Ian, Barbara and Susan are captured by these men, and nothing is certain. On a whim, they set the cottage aflame, a rather well-realized moment, with the Doctor suffocating inside. Rouvray asks our heroes to pick a side, but when both sides are equally antagonistic and unstable, is there really a smart choice to make?

I must say how glad I am to be back in historical waters after the dull nonsense of The Sensorites. The production team is so much better at it in every way. The writing follows a theme and none of the morality it simple or childish. The costumes look great, as do both the cottage and the forest. And the music has gone from cliched, melodramatic stings to something far more lyrical from composer Stanley Myers, with the Marseillaise coming in to evoke the period.

THEORIES: The TARDIS sure does love its trouble spots. While we might suppose that we're never shown the smoother, more vacation-oriented trips, there's enough evidence in the show's long history to suggest that if the TARDIS is going to land somewhere, it's probably going to be near some trouble, alien or otherwise. I've long held this opinion, but never really asked the reason "why?". There's a possible answer in this episode. We learn that the Doctor's favorite period in human history is the French Revolution (it might be why Susan wanted to borrow a book on the subject in An Unearthly Child - probably because the Doctor talked about it a lot). Barbara's was the Aztecs. Is the TARDIS tapping into their minds and sending them to places they want to see (consciously or unconsciously)? In 6 trips, they've gone at least twice to such destinations. The TARDIS is most connected to the Doctor's mind, of course, so it may stand to reason that it goes to trouble spots because the Doctor has a need for troubleshooting. The first Doctor is not yet an "active" hero, more of a "reactive" one, but he'll come around to it. Is he resisting his destiny in these early episodes? It's the same line of thought that will lead the lonely Doctor to somehow find a new companion the next trip over. The TARDIS is attempting to supply what he needs at any given moment. (I mean, a granddaughter substitute is the only human around on the trip following Susan's departure? More than a coincidence.)

VERSIONS: Even though 4 of The Reign of Terror's 6 episodes still exist, the BBC did produce an audio CD version of all 6, with linking narration by William Russell.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium-High - The start of another well-made historical. The tension ramps up as audience expectations are subverted.

Doctor Who #36: A Desperate Venture

2011-12-28T06:00:00.007-04:00

"Oh, it's ages since we've seen our planet. It's quite like Earth, but at night the sky is a burnt orange; and the leaves on the trees are bright silver..."TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 6 of the Sensorites. First aired Aug.1 1964.

IN THIS ONE... The Doctor finds insane humans in the sewers, and the evil Second Elder is caught.

REVIEW: There is a scene in here that is a memorable gem, and in fact, important to the Doctor Who mythology. That's the bit where Susan describes (the still unnamed) Gallifrey (see quote above). It's a description taken up by the 10th Doctor in the new series, so you might recognize it. Sadly, most of what surrounds this scene is badly written and directed. There are bright or at least interesting spots though. Barbara's return is most welcome, and she immediately starts acting as the voice of reason and a calming influence. To keep Susan from becoming a deus ex machina in the future, it's explained that she tapped into the telepathic field on the Sense-Sphere, so likely won't be able to do so elsewhere. The Doctor is confident, however, that she could continue to develop her abilities when they get back to their planet and it's strongly hinted that they aren't exiles so much as lost in time because of that fussy old TARDIS. Maybe it's all a big misunderstanding. Maybe the Doctor did steal the TARDIS, but thought he'd be home for tea, no one the wiser.

Otherwise, A Desperate Venture is a big mess. The Doctor and Ian find the humans who have been poisoning the water supply, and they've gone insane from exposure to Sensorite telepathy. They are in the ridiculous position of having no way to know if the Sensorites above are alive or dead, but allowances must be made since they're clearly mad. Still, since they are the root of all the problems, it would have been nice to get to know them. As it is, the writer doesn't even give them names. It's the Commander, Number 1 and Number 2. Sheesh. The Sensorites aren't any better characterized, as the First Elder continues to refuse to believe a Sensorite could commit crimes when he has one jailed at that very moment. That their society is built on trust is fine, but makes no sense given the City Administrator's behavior. Since the Doctor cured the plague, he can no longer be motivated by wanting to protect his people. He's just evil now, and wants power for its own sake. The cliffhanger in which the Doctor snaps at Ian and promises to throw him off the ship at the next destination is a likewise suspect piece of writing.

As for the direction, Frank Cox is surely one of the worst directors to work on the program (he also directed the previous episode, and the second part of The Edge of Destruction). Pinfield's one good staging idea, the dark aqueduct, is now fully lit. The less of those pipes you see, the better, in my opinion. Worse, it leads to a terribly staged struggle between Ian and one of the madmen, which ends with Ian telling the Doctor - who was only a few feet away - that he thinks it was a man and not a monster. He produces a piece of cloth torn away as evidence. Well, that's all very fine with it occurs in pitch darkness, perhaps with the torch creating abstract shapes, but the scene is fully lot. The dialog makes no sense in that context. The worst sin of all is that the former City Administrator, now Second Elder, is caught and punished... off-screen! With 6 episodes, you'd have though there'd have been room for a final confrontation, a moment where he is defeated. Instead, the First Elder seems to have finally accepted the evidence against him and tells the cast it's all been taken care of. We're denied the satisfaction of seeing this unpleasant character get what he has coming.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium-Low - There's that stand-out scene, and the cast performs quite well. The story itself is mishandled in the extreme.

STORY REWATCHABILITY: Low - Though there are some historically meaningful moments, and perhaps an Ood connection for New Who fans, the story is almost uniformly badly written, designed and directed. Too bad, because it announced itself as a strong vehicle for Susan's character. No wonder she's starting to say she'd like to put down roots.

Halo 3: Penalties and Rewards

2011-12-28T06:00:00.006-04:00

Batman and the Outsiders #9 - Pages 22-23
It's about to end, I swear! All Halo has to do now is find a way to punish the high school kidnappers and get Greg back to the stadium for the marching band competition. But these guys are all future lawyers!Yeah, they barely qualify for Gotham's juvie hall for the criminally insane. Halo on the other hand... she's got the crazy eye goin':
The hot pink aura is heat, if I'm not mistaken, so she's roasting these pigs!
Better not examine the panel too closely for phallic symbolism though. You could do yourself grievous psychological harm. And don't worry, they're not dead...
...but Halo did just steal their car keys AND encourage them to acquire useful car-thieving skills. Now, explain that next panel to me:
Halo just burned off their clothes, but spared the boys? How is that possible (remember, this IS Halo we're talking about). Looks like they had time to take them off and lay them in a small pile before they were turned to cinder. And now they have to stay close enough to use the blanket as a modesty shield, yet far enough that they don't actually touch. Takes all their concentration, so I doubt they even realize Halo's pun makes no sense. Let's just get Greg home.
Was there any doubt as to your identity, Greg? "It IS me!" seems a very strange realization. And he left April in quite a worrisome state, what with all those shadow band members lurking about.
Gee Halo, she IS telling him. She was WORRIED. That's a FEELING! But go ahead, play Cupid even if you have no idea what a relationship actually is.
Blast aura to the fanny seals the deal. Halo is all about fine-tuning her powers in this story. Unless her blasts have always been really weak? Maybe she can push Coldsnap and Heatstroke into each other's arms in the next issue. More evidence that Halo doesn't know what the hell she's doing: She just gave her best friend a boyfriend. We're never going to see April again.
Clark Kent's glasses? Meet Halo's colored hair streaks. Secret identity SECURED. So did Greg's pep talk do the trick? Or did they lose because Greg and April were making out under the bleachers? How can Glee be a hit, but Community is slated for cancellation? All good questions. I can answer the first two anyway:
Halo and her cloth-moving aura, eh? And now for the big twist. Ready?
The back-up story connects to the main one! See?
Except Halo Katana is decidedly less animated and Halo is holding the flute in the wrong hand. (Yes, I went there.) But you know what this means. It means Halo's breaking the fourth wall is not a stylistic framing choice, it's actually part of Outsiders continuity. She was down there talking to "readers" when the call to action came in. It HAPPENED. Adjust your character sheets to include the Reality Check power on Halo. (Wait. You're role-playing HALO?! I've had a player use Red Tornado, but that would be ridiculous.)

As Halo says, "this is the end". Until we meet again in Outsiders #10 and the conclusion of the Masters of Disaster story. But that's gonna be, what, in March or April maybe? One issue per season is more than enough for this old blogger.

Halo 2: Unsafe Tactics

2011-12-27T10:06:00.006-04:00

Batman and the Outsiders #9 - Pages 19-22
And we're back! Hope the Christmas hiatus was good for you, and it certain helped your humble blogger not to have to look at Outsiders panels for the duration. But that Halo story has to end somehow, and we're almost getting to it. To recap: Halo has joined the marching band, and on the eve of a big marching band competition, a rival school has kidnapped Greg, the star of the show. She haloes in pursuit.No, the big time crime you've been trained for, is actually pretty medium (I'm being generous to Cryonic Man, Meltdown, Agent Orange and the rest) and yet, the Outsiders have consistently had trouble with these C-listers. So high school pranksters... maybe you've got a shot. Halo IS starting to think like a Gotham City superhero though. You know how Batman hates guns? For Halo...
What in her back story makes her hate cheaters? What back story? Halo remains such an unknown that it would be a miracle if these guys even knew who she were.
Glow-Girl, that's right. Hey, I'm impressed they've even heard of the Batman's side-band. "No-names" is right, Cliff. As for Halo, she does the right thing. She asks: What would Batman do?
And then she does something else. "Sugar in the gas tank" is one of her auras, thankfully.

And now for the best page of the entire comic, BAR NONE (that's a pun by the way). It's a Sgt. Rock/Ed McMahon story called The Toughest Ticket, by Joe Kubert.
Kubert didn't phone in ANYTHING, not even ads or PSAs. And now, back to Halo 2, already in progress.

So they would be evenly matched with Halo, these kids aren't very smart. A superhero they call Glow-Girl is after them, and their reaction is to hide in the dark. Dudes. Think about that for a second.
Fun test: Did you read those panels in the right order the first time? If not, artist Bill Williamson fails the test! Speaking of test, can Halo pass Batman's secret identity test?
As usual, the answer is "Oops." She also fails the "don't let anyone get hurt" test, by putting a holographic Greg across an unsafe bridge.
Was that even necessary Halo? Of course, her nemeses have to be about as smart as she is:
Well, ok, you're Halo and have 8 aura powers to choose from. What do you do in this situation? If you said you'd use your tractor beam aura to grab the kids out of the air, you're almost right.
You grab a BLANKY out of their car and catch them with it! Nothing could have gone wrong with THAT plan. (Well, actually, plenty. No blanket in the car, blanket doesn't get there in time, kids miss blanket, kids rip through blanket, kids get hurt by falling one on top of the other, power fails because of kids+blanket weight...). And that only takes care of two kidnappers, the third one has to grab her legs.
And I bet she's not gonna clean up the bridge debris either. That's a train track down there. Guess what tomorrow's headline in the Gotham Gazette might be. Anyway, time for punishment:
"Oops."

Tomorrow: Punishment and what you've really been waiting for - who wins the big marching band competition?

Doctor Who #35: Kidnap

2011-12-27T06:00:00.003-04:00

"To see all the time is not a good thing."TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 5 of the Sensorites. First aired Jul.25 1964.

IN THIS ONE... The Doctor survives an attack by "monsters" in the dark. The Second Elder is killed by the City Administrator, but he fails to successfully frame the Doctor for it. And the Doctor and Ian set off for the aqueduct again, armed and ready.

REVIEW: While I wasn't exactly enjoying Mervyn Pinfield's direction in the first four episodes, I think Frank Cox is actually worse on this 5th chapter. The staging is invariably stiff and lifeless, as characters stand around and deliver their lines with their arms unmoving on the sides of their bodies. When the Sensorites appear more animated than humans like Carol and John (who otherwise have some charming "first contact" type scenes with the scientist), you know you have a problem. The one nice thing (carried over from A Race Against Death) is how dark the aqueduct is, sometimes played only with a spotlight, creating a sense of place without the use of sets. Puts the flat lighting of the above ground scenes to shame.

But of course, it's not the only one. The Sensorites continue to be the least impressive species in the universe, so much so even Carol calls them out on their use of sweeping statements. There can be no plot because they have a perfect society and everyone is content, and yet the "evil" City Administrator has like-minded cohorts. Their frame-up is easily exposed as a lie, in part because they make very bad liars. And there's a tangible lack of urgency in finding the real killer. A couple punches kills the Second Elder, so they're pretty feeble physically as well, and their warriors deliver weapons, but don't look like they could handle a fight. And wait, why would you have a warrior caste and weapons if no one would even dream of committing murder or go to war? Maybe that's why the warriors look so paltry - they were just drafted from their proper caste when humans showed up only a few years ago. To keep the story going, the Doctor has to be relatively dense too, but I suppose there's some irony in the fact he's instrumental in giving the City Administrator a promotion (or is he? he was already third-in-command).

And it doesn't even stop there! Ian, who was at death's door in the previous episode, now seems fine. They seem to have forgotten the antidote was never delivered (he eventually gets cured off-screen, of course). Where do the Sensorites get the Doctor's cloak? It doesn't look like standard Sensorite issue. Susan sadly returns to her childish ways, giggling and making fun of the way Sensorites walk (a characterization that is frankly, pretty ridiculous for a young Time Lady). But worst of all is the episode's title. Not only did it undercut the previous cliffhanger, but it has NOTHING TO DO with this episode. The kidnapping of Carol occurs in THE LAST TWO SECONDS!

THEORIES: Still tracking the Doctor's number of hearts? Here, he was hit under the heart, singular, but that's just a choice of words. I've always felt the use of the plural in the new series to be more than a little affected.

REWATCHABILITY: Low - I'm sorry about all the nitpicking, but when an episode is this flat and boring, you have to entertain yourself somehow. It's done with love, I assure you, but also with a lot of irritated sighs.

Doctor Who #34: A Race Against Death

2011-12-26T06:00:00.003-04:00

"It's not always possible to do these things at the snap of a finger."TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 4 of the Sensorites. First aired Jul.18 1964.

IN THIS ONE... The Doctor finds an antidote for the Sensorite "plague" and goes down into an aqueduct to find the source of the poison while the City Administrator's plots keep the cure away from Ian.

REVIEW: On the surface, this is an acceptable "find the cure in time" scenario, with a montage and everything, ending in an intriguing revelation. However, it all falls apart because the Sensorites are so STUPID! These creatures have a scientist caste and laboratories, disintegrators and space travel, and yet the Doctor pretty much has to teach them how the scientific method works. They've been living with a plague for years, but haven't yet realized it's not a disease, but a poison. They've tested the water, but only from a single source, and found nothing. Worse still, it takes a comment from Carol to give the Chief Administrator the idea to switch badges of office with someone as a disguise, because apparently, even the Sensorites can't tell each other apart without them, at least not without prolonged exposure. That's fine for unique positions, but what about the middle class? You would have thought their telepathic abilities would have given them some kind of non-visual cue to their identities. That's IF they were really identical, which they aren't. Body shape and voices vary quite a lot. It doesn't end there. Because there are strange noises in the aqueduct, a scientist says there are monsters down there, so no one goes anymore. So their water supply cannot be serviced because of superstition, basically. These guys are just bad at questioning assumptions, as shown repeatedly by the Chief Administrator's unwavering mistrust of the humans. He dooms his people by trying to protect them from the wrong thing. It would be ironic if it weren't so dubiously motivated.

The Doctor and Susan are only smart in comparison, because even their deductions are slow to come. Even with little-to-no familiarity with the serial, I was way ahead of the Doctor on every plot point. I bet the kids in 1964 were too. When you compare this to stories like The Aztecs that has adult narrative strategies and themes, it's almost like it's not even from the same series. The poisoned water is OBVIOUS. That the Sensorites are the victims of sabotage is equally OBVIOUS. Their own story says that of 5 humans, 2 took off in the ship that exploded. Can't ANYONE do the math and realize 3 were left on the Sense-Sphere? Their assumption that the other three stowed aboard and were destroyed is just like the rest of their assumptions, taken as fact.

And the hack production values don't give much relief from the plot holes. The sets are so cheap, you have to wonder if they spent all their money bringing in a fountain. The musical stings go "Tan-tan!!!" every few minutes. And what can I say about that silly list of districts? I'll spare you the rant. The cliffhanger is also problematic because while we hear a monster's growl, the next episode card reads "Kidnap". Not only is that a very dull title for an episode, but it completely undercuts what the cliffhanger is trying to do.

REWATCHABILITY: Low - Cheap-looking, but the real flaw is that the Sensorites are real dunderheads. Things happen only because the characters are stupid. Lazy writing makes for an annoying viewing experience.

This Week in Geek (19-25/12/11)

2011-12-25T17:37:00.006-04:00

Buys'n'Gifts

My kid sister got me the gorgeous Spy vs. Spy Omnibus for Christmas, which is awesome. And KFF buddies Isabel, Furn, Marty and Nath surprised me with a bag of goodies: Lego-compatible Cybermen, a vanishing TARDIS mug, and strangest of all, a small Hard Boiled pin featuring Tequila holding the baby. Also, I got myself a copy of Futurama vol.6, the second part of Season 5.

"Accomplishments"

DVDs: Community's second season finds a good middle ground between the first season's subversive take on soap opera, and its occasional forays into genre parody (so less of the former and more of the latter). But while I enjoy both (and there are some very fun takes on the documentary style, clip shows, Apollo 13, Charlie Kaufman, conspiracies, zombie movies, and of course, a double-length paintball episode), what really got me into it was how Community has become the Deep Space 9 of comedies. The "sad" claymation Christmas episode is a good representative of an entire season that, while chock-full of laughs, also had a tendency to end each episode on a downbeat note. I love that. The Dungeons&Dragons episode (while quite far from any game I've played) is another standout, and the turning point in Pierce's turning against the group. Great extras too. Each episode has a fun commentary track (though moving to unrated makes a few of these descend into chaos), each disc has outtakes and deleted scenes from its episodes, and there are making of featurettes for both the paintball and Christmas episodes. The latter can also be viewed as animated storyboards, but you won't get much out of the halfway-through version that combines storyboards and finished claymation, except a few shots where the blue screens and wires show. Cast evaluations have become a tradition and a chance for more comedy.

While 30 Rock makes me laugh about as much, it's very different kind of comedy. I can never accuse it of having a lot of heart. It's extreme caricature, but probably the best being done on tv right now. Season 5 continues the show's traditions of high end guest-stars and self-deprecating humor, petering out only for the last couple episodes (not the strongest of finales). The stand-out is a live episode, redone with a few different jokes for the west coast 3 hours later (the second one is included on Disc 3's extras, if you're looking - 30 Rock didn't screw us out of it like West Wing did - yes I'm still sore - it's causing run-on sentences and everything). The double-sized 100th episode is a nice celebration too AND another subverted clip show. Commentary on almost half the episodes is a mixed bag, as usual, and in another 30 Rock tradition, there's some stunt casting there (McBrayer's parents, Val Kilmer, and Aaron Sorkin NOT on the episode he guested in). There are also a lot of deleted scenes, a useful behind the scenes featurette on the live show, 3 Jack Donaghy - Executive Superhero animated shorts, and the full run of Jenna's obituary song.

Season 3 of the Sarah Jane Adventures is strongly advertised as having the last scenes David Tennant shot as the Doctor, but The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith, like all episodes bearing her name, is a great episode for Sarah Jane, not for the Doctor. He meets the kids and everything, but he doesn't steal the spotlight (good), nor does it feel like some kind of farewell (too bad). The Trickster's back, of course, and there are new alien threats, but SJA is the place where goofy animatronic Who villains go after their run on the parent series is done. This season, we get Judoon and Slitheen, and the SJA team is allowed to develop these species further. It's perhaps ironic that while the kids are starting to get older (Luke becomes an irritable teenager, Clyde and Rani start a subtle flirtation), there's a fart joke in almost every story. I guess they don't want to lose the younger, fart-loving demographic. But that's my only complaint about the otherwise charming series. The extras are limited to a teaser for another of Sarah Jane's audio books, which is disappointing.

You know it's a Christmas edition of This Week in Geek when Siskoid reviews some torture porn, but I did watch and flip Eli Roth's Hostel on Christmas weekend. I do it injustice by calling it torture porn, though it does share in that genre, it's a bit better than others in the category (not that I watch that stuff). There is a story here, and you don't get to that kind of horror until the third act, just before it actually turns into more of a thriller. The plot focuses on douchebags backpacking through Europe who get lured to a hostel that is a front for rich men who pay to torture and kill people. The theme is human exploitation, using the exploitation movie as a framework. I don't think it succeeds on every level though. The violence, gore, drug use and sex of the genre make the worthy thematic underpinnings of the film especially hard to see on the first viewing. And the twists, while good, do undercut whatever subplots were running. By the time you care for a character, you're into the portion of the film that's making you wince. This is a case of the DVD being worth it, even if the film alone might not have been though. There are four commentary tracks in which the director discusses different elements either alone or with guests (including one with producing partner Quentin Tarantino), and an alternate ending. The behind the scenes 1-hour making of doesn't take itself seriously and is frankly entertaining. And then there's a second disc, with a more official 30-minute making of, various featurettes (on the sound, effects, sets, etc., but also one that teaches you how to eat a lamb's head), 20 minutes of deleted scenes, a radio interview with the director, loads of pictures, and a short interview with horror director Takashi Miike who had a cameo in the film. Like good DVD packages should, it makes me like the movie more than I did first way through.

1933's King Kong is a revelation. I wasn't expecting to see claymation so well integrated into live action. I guess it's mostly done through rear projection, but still, the level of planning and innovation is just spectacular. The effects are frankly better than a lot of films made more than 50 years later, and I sometimes wonder how they were even achieved. The animation is expressive and detailed, and the film is surprisingly violent and even sexy from what I imagined of the era (perhaps it's the reinstatement of the "censored scenes". A true classic. My one-disc DVD features a commentary track with legendary effects veterans Ray Harryhausen and Ken Ralston, clearly inspired by this film, with edited in bits of interview from director Merian C. Cooper and, minimally (like, two sentences), by actress Fay Ray. They don't talk enough about how it was made for my tastes, but it's still a loving track. Also on the disc, 8 Cooper film trailers, including King Kong, Son of Kong and Mighty Joe Young.

I posted the live tweetage from last Thursday's Van Dammathon - a Kung Fu Friday Special Event - but promised some capsule reviews. Because I only own 3 of those films on DVD, I can't tell you about whatever extras the other 4 have (if any), but we can still talk about the movies. The one I do own are Hard Target, Sudden Death (both on the same Van Damme 4-pack, no extras) and JCVD (a couple of deleted scenes). So, chronologically...

We started with Bloodsport, a cheesy 80s favorite that used to run (still does?) all the time on tv, and that has probably the best claim to being a KFF movie thanks to a huge number of martial arts duels, so many it turns into a montage. I wonder how much of the film is actually based on Canadian Frank Dux, the first Westerner to win the super-secret kumite competition. Don't look for a coherent, interesting or innovative plot, but the wealth of fighting styles makes it a fun fight movie.

Roland Emmerich's Universal Soldier, co-starring Dolph Lundgren and Ally "Profiler" Walker, is a big, dumb movie (it's Emmerich, isn't it?) that doesn't even try to give the two male leads any acting opportunities. Van Damme is at his most robotic and Lundgren's ear fetish leads to some horrible puns and a nice fleshy line of jewelry. Can I recommend the action, as with Bloodsport? Not entirely. It's not bad, but the unimaginative gunplay prevents Van Damme from doing what he's really good at - martial arts. The best thing I can say about "Unisol" is that it isn't Cyborg.

The KFF vibe returned with John Woo's Hard Target, in which he plays an ex-Ranger, Cajun drifter up against a greed-driven manhunting ring. Woo's style enhances everything with the essence of cool, and you really have to accept that everything is made out of explosives. Stunts, fights, music... it's all great. Wilmford Brimley playing Chance Boudreaux's moonshine-swilling uncle is probably the best thing about the movie though. Chance should have appeared in other films, but his other "Cajun" movies used a different persona. Too bad, because Uncle Douvee could have made a comeback.

I wasn't sure I would get into Street Fighter, given that I know next to nothing about the game it's based on. I've seen the last iteration on Xbox, but I'm not a fan of fighting games. To me, it was complete nonsense, but I got into it thanks to Raul Julia's campy (and sadly, last) performance as the villain Bison (and partly because Ming-Na can do no wrong in my book). But a Van Damme movie? Not so much. Just too many characters from the game running around to develop "Guile" very much. He only gets to fight Bison at the end because he's Van Damme.

The originators of the Van Dammathon each had a request, mine was Sudden Death, possibly my favorite Die Hard formula film, pitting fire inspector Van Damme against super-cool Powers Booth in a hockey arena during the Stanley Cup playoffs. I'm not much of a hockey fan, but I do come from that culture, and there isn't a single piece or element of the arena that isn't used in some way. Van Damme even spends time on the ice during the game! But fair warning: The looked at Die Hard and matched it beat for beat. There's no innovation beyond the setting here (but that's more than enough to recommend it).

Double Team had quite a reputation, but seeing director Tsui Hark's name on credits (a nice KFF surprise!) filled me with hope. I can't say I was disappointed, even if I can't say the movie made sense. Tsui Hark rarely plays it safe, and while he's made classics like Once Upon a Time in China and Seven Swords, he's also experiments, not always with great results, in such films as Zu Warriors and Time & Tide. What works about Double Team is 1) the action and 2) the whacked out ideas. In that respect, the film is extreme. There's a set piece where JCVD has to escape from what is basically the Village from the Prisoner, and the finale has a baby put in jeopardy by a minefield, a motorbike, a tiger and Mickey Rourke... simultaneously! What DOESN'T work is the plot and dialog and the casting of Dennis Rodman. But crazy, right?!

We kept the best for last. JCVD is an unusual (mostly)French-language film in which Van Damme plays himself (or a version of himself). He's hitting rock bottom in his personal and professional life when he gets caught up in a bank hold-up run by Belgium's equivalent of the Three Stooges. It is VICIOUSLY funny, taking shots at the film industry, at the relationship between celebrity and fandom, and at the media. But at the center of it is a confessional by Van Damme that is completely heart-wrenching. There is a nakedness and honesty to this film that makes it a real gem, and it's a story cleverly told too. The big question is: Has JCVD always been this good an actor, only held back by either language or directors' expectations? For comedy, he's a great straight man. For tragedy, he's a revelation. The extras were over too soon, just a couple of deleted scenes. Too bad because I wanted to find out more about this film without going to my local wiki. Will show up in my Top 5 films seen in 2011.

What's your favorite Van Damme?

Hyperion to a Satyr posts this week:
III.i. The Nunnery Scene - Tennant (2009)
III.i. The Nunnery Scene - The Banquet
III.i. The Nunnery Scene - Slings & Arrows
III.i. The Nunnery Scene - A Midwinter's Dream

It's Christmas and Batman's at the Door. Do You Answer?

2011-12-25T06:05:00.000-04:00

From Batman #219 by Frank Robbins, Irv Novick and Dick Giordano.

And to all a Merry Christmas and/or Doctor Who Christmas Special Day (observed)!

Doctor Who #33: Hidden Danger

2011-12-25T06:00:00.003-04:00

"No opinion can be worse sometimes than a very dogmatic one."TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 3 of the Sensorites. First aired Jul.11 1964.

IN THIS ONE... The Sensorite Elders agree to meet the Doctor's party, but their City Administrator doesn't trust them and tries to kill them.

REVIEW: We continue to learn more about the Sensorites, but there's a lot of repetition in this episode, a sure sign of padding. We discover they have a caste system they are quite content with, and that "Sensorites" are only one of these casts (presumably the telepaths, but they look the same as the Elders). They fear physical confrontations and are defeated by the Doctor armed with a light switch. Their Elders aren't any more stylish though they accessorize with black sashes or collars, according to their rank. It's a handy way to tell them apart, but the writer really should have resisted the urge to explain all this to us. It's part of the script's redundancies. Sometimes information is repeated, and sometimes it's just not necessary. We got it. Pretty obvious, really. We don't see much of the planet, but it's a welcome break from the dreck that is the ship. One the Sense-Sphere, there are no sharp angles. Everything is rounded (perhaps the designer's inspiration was the word "Sphere", but it does make at least one room look like a TARDIS interior full of roundels), and the buildings outside, as seen rather quickly through a window, makes me think of the town of Bedrock, for some reason.

The most important piece of information, however, is that the Sensorites were burned by humans some years earlier when five people came to the Sense-Sphere and started fighting each other over the planet's riches, a fight that ended in an atmospheric explosion that released a deadly disease into the air (there's an echo of the Aztecs' final fate in there - I wonder if it was on purpose). It doesn't take a genius to figure out Ian's been infected with it via tainted water in the final scene, nor that the water carries the disease (the characters aren't as quick the audience on this one). It's one of two ploys by the distrustful City Administrator (who seems to be third in the Elder hierarchy) to kill the landing party against orders. It's a better one than the dreadfully slow disintegrator scheme that sounds like the Sensorite version of bingo (and which our heroes have no hand in stopping). Skip the system checks, next time, sheesh! (The heroes' eating scene isn't much better as things start slowing to real time again.)

When the plot is slow and the dialog repetitious, I seek refuge in the character moments. It's unfortunate that Susan isn't allow to fulfill the promise she made in the previous episode. She's instead absorbed in a larger party and returns to being under-utilized. It is interesting however to see a bit of teenage rebellion in her, and her first argument with her grandfather, ever. She's growing up and he's not liking it. Barbara, the "mother", understands this much better, of course, though she's left aboard the ship with Maitland. It's Jacqueline Hill's turn to go on holiday for a couple weeks (she'll be missed). Ian's role isn't much more than choking on plague water though. Even Carol and John get bigger parts, she seeing her love slipping away, and he, promised a cure to his affliction, sensing good or bad through the haze of his madness.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium-Low - It's a lot of people, some in masks, some not, standing around and talking, often making points they've already made. Rather dull.

Reign of the Supermen #405: Tim's Pal, Superman

2011-12-24T10:14:00.003-04:00

Source: Tim Publications official Superman-Tim fan club (1942-1950)
Type: Non-canon (marketing)There is a world in the wide multiverse where Superman doesn't hang out with Jimmy Olsen. Instead, he hangs out with a self-reliant boy named Tim. Who is Tim? A brilliant inventor, a positive thinker, a co-presenter of puzzles, a shill for the Superman-Tim clothing line, a time traveler thanks to his Whirlaway Watch (take that, Olsen!), , and a boy who taught younger children how to be better citizens and suggested ways to kill the enemy! Get your membership card today! (Thanks Internet, I knew you'd have one.)
More on this at Dial B for Blog!

Doctor Who #32: The Unwilling Warriors

2011-12-24T09:59:00.003-04:00

"Well you come from nowhere and you seem to be going nowhere."TECHNICAL SPECS: Part 2 of the Sensorites. First aired Jun.27 1964.

IN THIS ONE... The Sensorites board the ship and refuse to free the crew because they know too much - namely about a rich ore deposit on their planet.

REVIEW: What the Aztecs did for Barbara, The Sensorites attempts to do for Susan. She seems to grow up in this one, and the strong empathic skills she's shown in the past are brought to bear as she becomes, more or less, the telepathic conduit between the aliens and the humans. She appears well able to explain psychic phenomena, and takes to the task with calm and bravery (see also Theories). Though she's best suited to the task, all the women have a stronger connection to the Sensorites, even Carol, while the Doctor is deaf to them. It's less a Time Lord thing than a female thing. The dialog isn't drawing attention to it, so I'm not sure why, though looking through the somewhat sexist point of view of the era, it may be that women's more emotional minds are more open to the Sensorites. They do say mineralogist John opened his mind to them when he got excited by a rich molybdenum deposit, after all, and fear acts as an open door. However, it seems to be a two-way street, as all the women can sense the Sensorites up to one point or another.

And we do finally get to see a lot more of the Sensorites and they're really not as rubbish as I was once led to believe. They have no sense of style, and those stethoscopes/telepathy boosters look silly, but the masks are fine, the suction cup feet are a fun trait, and their short stature works for these cerebral creatures. They're not meant to be particularly threatening physically, and though Ian tries to treat them as Voord or Daleks, Barbara brings him back to reality with her sensible analysis of the situation. They're a threat, but not monsters. Their perfect solution to their problem is simply to put anyone who would want to exploit the Sense-Sphere in a colony where they would be well treated, but never allowed to leave or tell their secret. Their mental powers and technology allow them to enforce this pacifist ideal, though of course, there's also the matter of the debilitating side effects prolonged exposure to their mental attacks can have on the psyche. There's mention of Sensorite warriors, but these are unlikely to be much of a physical threat, not when loud noises and the dark seem to hurt them so much. Can they really survive in the vacuum of space? I have half a mind to call that shot of one outside the porthole a mental illusion. Creepy and dramatic, but it has no effect on plot.

So that's the set-up. What was that disastrous first contact with Terrans? What will happen with the molybdenum MacGuffin? How will Susan fare as she leaves the safety of the TARDIS family to go down to the planet with the Sensorites? Will they recover the TARDIS lock? (So the Sensorites DID remove it... weird.) There's enough here to keep you watching.

THEORIES: Time Lord telepathy is now a fact. While the classic Doctors rarely made use of it, and usually only with one another in multiple Doctor episodes, or in passing, or perhaps as a powerful form of hypnosis, Doctors 10 and 11 have made clear use of it in several episodes. At this point in the series, however, the term "Time Lord" is years from being coined. Susan obviously has abilities beyond those of humans, but the Doctor does not. Or does he? Unlike Susan, he's making a conscious effort to keep his mind closed to the Sensorites. It may even be the cause of his irritability here, because his harsh "Do as I say!" to Barbara is otherwise slightly out of character. We also hear him tell Ian that sometimes he can read what he's thinking, but that sounds like a joke. New Who Doctors require physical contact, so it's not like he he has a telepathic field around him he can tap into. Maybe a pat on a companion's shoulder is more than it appears. Then again, can we take any future Doctor's abilities are evidence that the first Doctor has them too? Like dozens of other traits - physical and mental - the level of telepathic ability may vary from incarnation to incarnation. A regenerated Susan, for example, might have far weaker psychic ability. Or it may prove one of her constants. We'll never know (in-canon, at least).

REWATCHABILITY: Medium - The plot is developing nicely, Susan gets a strong role for once, and the aliens aren't half as bad as fan wisdom would have you believe.