Finally, it looks like the Titans are going to go up against a proper costumed supervillain. It's the Ant! And no, the character didn't make it into Who's Who (which I apparently think is the pinnacle of 80s success). What can I say? To be fair, the Ant turns out to be a teenager, so he can't really be a villain. In the Titans universe, in case you haven't noticed, villainy is solely an adult affair."The Perilous Capers of the Terrible Teen" starts in the Titan lair (two holes down from the Batcave) as Robin opens some "Emergency Mail". Remember, this was before the days of dialing 9-1-1. If yo0ur house was on fire, you had to sit down, write a letter explaining your emergency's nature and intensity, mail it, and wait 6 to 8 weeks for rescue. It was a simpler time, when men were men and women were... less.
As I learned from the Fortress of Fortitude lately, superheroines tend to be a little ditzy at times. Either that, or Bob Haney has a thing for "the Poneytaled Chick from Amazon Island"'s hair (Wonder Girl really gets the bottom of the barrel when it comes to cool nicknames... consider the others: the Boy Wonder, the Boy Bullet* and um... Aqualad). But back to the mailbag: The Titans are called to Camp Lacklock, a kind of reform school where a guy who could be Doc Magnus' long-lost brother helps wayward teens go straight.One alumni has disappeared, and the camp counselor is afraid he's gotten into trouble, that he is, in fact, a bank robber called the Ant. The proof? The teen's dead parents were a circus strongman and an acrobat, and lookie here, the Ant is both strong and agile. Well, I'm sold.Turns out it's true, but he's being blackmailed into being the Ant by mobsters who have evidence that his kid brother was in some trouble a while back. To keep the information from reaching the cops and destroying his brother's life, he commits what crimes he's told to commit. This includes robbing banks and charity picnics (don't ask). By the end, the Titans will have exposed the real criminals (the adults) who don't really have any kind of evidence against the kid brother, and the Ant makes good by helping them defeat the bad guys.In fact, all the kids from Juvie Camp help, going for the classic Ewok strategy.
As Haney says: "Flabby criminal muscles are no match for sinewy young arms." Whatever you say, Bob.It's really too bad the Ant never returned, perhaps as a hero (before DC lost its copyright chances to Image), because he was pretty cool. The costume stands up in black and white - I definitely like the helmet - and he really gave the Titans a run for their money. Kind of like an unphaseable Spider-Man. I guess hot pink tends to kill your chances in the superhero biz.
*Kid-Flash is also often called the Scarlet Speedster, which is just weird. First, that's the Flash's nickname. It's like calling Robin the Dark Knight. Second, his costume is YELLOW!!! Maybe Haney is colorblind. That would explain why a vibrating Kid-Flash is referred to as a "pink blur". If "vibrating pink blur" doesn't get me some Google hits, there is no God.
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As for The Ant, maybe its better to languish in obscurity. If he were remembered, he may have ended up disemboweled in the pages of Infinite Crisis.