Haven't opened the DC closet recently and played What Not to Wear. How about it? Put your shades on, your immediate future promises to be bright. Or garish.
Now, I've mentioned before how Jack Kirby's designs shouldn't work, yet do, but there's at least one exception: The Black Racer. Yes, in the DC Universe (at least until Neil Gaiman made the scene), the Angel of Death is multi-colored skier with a medieval knight's helmet. For some reason, the Silver Surfer works. Cosmic dude on skis somewhat doesn't. It's one of life's little mysteries.
Another loser is Justice League villain Brain Storm. He's extremely powerful, but his ultimate weapon makes him look like a Conehead with an egg timer. And yet, it's the pointy shoulders that makes him a real loser. No, strike that. It's the pencil moustache. If you're not Tony Stark or Batroc the Leaper, you cannot suffer that moustache to live.
Brother Power is a hippie rag doll come to life. I'm fine with the concept. One question remains, however: What is the symbol on his chest? It's not a peace sign, which would have been appropriate, and what is that funky arrow on top? Or that microphone grill in the middle? I'm not even gonna mention those fascist boots. I'm sure they're an ironic statement.
I don't want to laugh at Byth's loose-fitting clothes, but since he's a shape-shifter, maybe he should have filled them out more? I don't want to diss Joe Kubert's art anyway. That guy can so come down to my house and kick my ass.
But it's always saddest when one of the ladies is badly dressed. Booby-prize goes to Blackstarr. She's got everything going against her: She's a Supergirl villain, so you know she's lame. Somebody apparently stole her online handle, so she had to add a random letter in there (just be glad she's not Blackstar_69). And she's got glowing nipples. 'Nuff said.
BONUS: WELL-DRESSED MAN
I know it's a simple one, but best costume goes to Black Manta. I mean look at 'im! It's just a black diver's suit, but that helmet. That helmet that produced that creepy voice on the Super-Friends cartoon. I thought for sure he was inhuman. After all, his eyes can't really be in line with those red goggles, can they?
Oh yeah... he's totally badass.
BONUS: I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' CLOTHES!
Our naked guy of the day is none other than Brainiac 2.0. I always liked this version of Superman's 2nd best villain. The original was a green guy in a pink suit. This one has a death's head, an exposed brain, some funky spiked feet, and iMac see-thru technology.
What's not to like? I even have the action figure.
Closing the closet now... See you next time as we hit Marvel's storeroom!
Now, I've mentioned before how Jack Kirby's designs shouldn't work, yet do, but there's at least one exception: The Black Racer. Yes, in the DC Universe (at least until Neil Gaiman made the scene), the Angel of Death is multi-colored skier with a medieval knight's helmet. For some reason, the Silver Surfer works. Cosmic dude on skis somewhat doesn't. It's one of life's little mysteries.
Another loser is Justice League villain Brain Storm. He's extremely powerful, but his ultimate weapon makes him look like a Conehead with an egg timer. And yet, it's the pointy shoulders that makes him a real loser. No, strike that. It's the pencil moustache. If you're not Tony Stark or Batroc the Leaper, you cannot suffer that moustache to live.
Brother Power is a hippie rag doll come to life. I'm fine with the concept. One question remains, however: What is the symbol on his chest? It's not a peace sign, which would have been appropriate, and what is that funky arrow on top? Or that microphone grill in the middle? I'm not even gonna mention those fascist boots. I'm sure they're an ironic statement.
I don't want to laugh at Byth's loose-fitting clothes, but since he's a shape-shifter, maybe he should have filled them out more? I don't want to diss Joe Kubert's art anyway. That guy can so come down to my house and kick my ass.
But it's always saddest when one of the ladies is badly dressed. Booby-prize goes to Blackstarr. She's got everything going against her: She's a Supergirl villain, so you know she's lame. Somebody apparently stole her online handle, so she had to add a random letter in there (just be glad she's not Blackstar_69). And she's got glowing nipples. 'Nuff said.
BONUS: WELL-DRESSED MAN
I know it's a simple one, but best costume goes to Black Manta. I mean look at 'im! It's just a black diver's suit, but that helmet. That helmet that produced that creepy voice on the Super-Friends cartoon. I thought for sure he was inhuman. After all, his eyes can't really be in line with those red goggles, can they?
Oh yeah... he's totally badass.BONUS: I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' CLOTHES!
Our naked guy of the day is none other than Brainiac 2.0. I always liked this version of Superman's 2nd best villain. The original was a green guy in a pink suit. This one has a death's head, an exposed brain, some funky spiked feet, and iMac see-thru technology.
What's not to like? I even have the action figure.Closing the closet now... See you next time as we hit Marvel's storeroom!
Comments
That's why when I use Brainiac in my role-playing games, he's still a cool robot.