Ninja Missions

Ever been on a ninja mission and not known what to wear? I've got some tips for you and a couple of beautiful (if slightly loopy) models to showcase them. But first...

What's a ninja mission?
Beyond the obvious assassinations of Japanese land owners, ninja missions are those undertakings that require a modicum of stealth and foolish bravery (of brave foolhardiness) and would verge on the illegal if the cops actually had the manpower to arrest every drunk idiot who's crossed the line.

The most common example of a ninja mission is when you go to the office in the middle of the night to use and abuse the photocopier for your own ends (say, publishing a fanzine or getting pics of your naked ass for wide distribution). That covers the three ninja "S"s: Stealthy, subversive and stupid.

Sometimes, you need to hide your identity. May I suggest a case of beer as your solution? (After all, at the onset of a ninja mission, you may well have an empty one handy.) Here Carolynn models the "head-case" and how its angles help you balance yourself even on the loosest of high wires:

In this case, she's chosen stealth over visibility and only punched out a couple eye holes (they may or may not be in line with her eyes), but you may opt for a better view by making a window the same size as the handholds. Don't be afraid to show your sense of style in your choice of beer.

A couple of my friends went to get midnight snacks at a convenience store wearing head-cases, and believe you me, the clerk had his finger on the alarm button the whole time. Note that it is totally appropriate to do cartwheels, jumps and other acrobatic moves while on a ninja mission, so be sure to have a tight head-case that won't fly off.

Very often, ninja missions are a group undertaking, so you need to coordinate. A professional, coordinated look can be achieved with a simple straw. Here's how:

Here, Gwen is modeling the "straw-mike" while stealing the University Improv Cup from under the tournament organisers' very noses. How? Careful coordination with other team members to make sure she isn't seen. That, and who would argue with someone wearing a mike? You don't argue with the secret service. You don't argue with wedding planners. And you don't argue with ninjas.

I hope these fashion tips have been useful to you, whether you're looking to stock up on paperclips or rescue a friend from his ex in a locked bathroom stall. Remember: Ninja is an attitude.