87. The Infinite VulcanFORMULA: Space Seed + More Tribbles, More Troubles + Spock's Brain
WHY WE LIKE IT: The Phylosians are a well-executed sentient plantlife.
WHY WE DON'T: No explanation for the giant clones, or for much of anything actually.
REVIEW: Walter Koenig tries his hand at writing an episode of Star Trek and manages to prove that William Shatner isn't the only one in the cast with a poison pen. Wow, this is pretty terrible. It starts off well enough, with a landing party exploring a planet where plantlife evolved to fill the usual animal niches, right up to sentient lifeforms. The Phylosians are cool and believable (as far as these things go), with some interesting, vegetable ship designs to boot. The animal life is less well-handled between a tribble with legs and a flying monster that would be ludicrous even in a game of Dungeons & Dragons.
And then, it all falls apart. The giant clone of a survivor of the Eugenics Wars kidnaps Spock, removes his mind, and puts it inside a giant Spock, the first in an army of Spock clones that will impose peace and order on the universe. What?!? There are no explanations for why the clones are so large, nor would it be practical or scientifically possible. It's just dumb. Making Dr. Keniclius a mutant from the Eugenics Wars is basically a throwaway link to the original series, and only diminishes Khan's stature. And why, oh why, use a plot device similar to Spock's Brain when that episode was considered a big miss by everyone?
The whole thing devolves into long exposition that only barely explain why the characters are acting the way they are. By the end, I'm more annoyed than anything, with the final joke making no sense, and even playing off Asian clichés (Sulu is inscrutable and suddenly uses martial arts).
LESSON: Size matters, but no one can say why.
REWATCHABILITY - Low: The premise is ridiculous, and the positive spin on creating a master race is unwittingly insulting. A low point of the series. Please, leave the writing to the writers.
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