B&B 2-in-1 Round 11: Thor vs. the Atom

We can't seem to get away from that tie for long. It's 5-5 for both Batman and the Thing, kids. Who gets a slim lead this time?

In the orange corner... it's the Thing and the mighty Thor, written by Steve Gerber and Chris Claremont and drawn by Herb Trimpe and Joe Giella, Marvel Two-in-One #9, When a God Goes Mad!

In the black corner... we've got Batman and the Atom, written by Bob Haney and drawn by Ross Andru and Mike Esposito, Brave and the Bold #77, So Thunders the Cannoneer!

Advantage... Thor? DING DING DING!

The Stars
The Thing's back to babysitting Wundarr, "a starborn superhuman with the mind of an infant [and showing more chest skin than Power Girl]". Truly, the worst character find of 1974. This time out, he's taking the kid to a puppet show. God help me. If that wasn't bad enough, indignity is piled on indignity when 1) a bunch of little kids take down the Thing and rip his clothes to shreds, and 2) the Fantasticar gets a parking ticket.Well, that's what you get for double-parking, Ben. He does get to fight a Puppet Master-controlled Thor to a standstill, but it's Wundarr who saves the day, first by absorbing the radiation powering the voodoo dolls, and then by being the one who bitch slaps the Puppet Master into next week (as far as I can tell, he is killed, but they don't show the body so...). Like I said, indignity. +2 points

I'm glad to see Batman do a little legwork for once and actually be proactive. See there's this train called the Brotherhood Express that's gonna travel the country with each country's greatest treasures. Each car represents and a country, and you can easily tell which because there's, like, a miniature London Bridge on top, or whatever. Instead of waiting for a crook to loot the train, Bats scouts ahead and prevents at least two hijacking plots and has the Commissioner change the train's route. Why yes, it's just a matter of laying new track, right? He's not just well-prepared, he's got a lot of guts too:
After ripping the be-moustached Mona Lisa in half, he proceeds to punch off Michelangelo's David's head off. Hey, they're all fakes anyway. Sure, he's a good detective, but can he fight? Glad you asked. Batman scores extra points for using the Holland car's windmill to batter crooks off the moving train (calling himself "Gotham's big wind" may not be the best PR move however) as well as surviving being shot from a cannon. +9 bat-points

The Guests
Thor spends half his time as a puppet of the Puppet Master, which is easy to see because he-speaks-with-dashes-between-each-word, so this is a classic Marvel team-up where the heroes fight each other. Not that he's safe to be around when he's NOT controlled. For example, he nearly hits the Fantasticar in New York's crowded skies.
The Puppet Master then uses him to attack the Fantastic Four, which he accomplishes in short order. The Invisible Girl's the last to fall, but a bad headache knocks her out.
I guess she wasn't just saying that for Reed's benefit. Only then does the God of Thunder snap out of it long enough to turn back into Dr. Don Blake. That severs the link to the Puppet Master's voodoo doll, but Blake can't leave well enow alone and summons Thor again. And again he falls under the spell. And then not only doesn't he soundly beat the Thing, but Wundarr steals his killing blow and all his XP! +3 points (mostly for trashing the FF)

The Atom gets called in to help Batman because part of the great train robbery plot must've required a tiny person, about which he is an expert. It's Bob Haney's version of the Atom though, so instead of riding the phone call to Gotham, he jumps a bumper and hopes for the best.
In the Haneyverse, the Atom can shrink to a size of about 6 inches and that's about it. Never smaller, no cool tricks or physics knowledge. And when he meets a woman his size, he goes all mushy inside as if he wasn't 6 feet tall in real life. Maybe he just always wanted to do it on a stack of Kleenex or something. If I were using the Treadmill's criteria from their Scaled-Down Smack-Down, then I'd have to give props for the tiny battle that ensues, which uses sharp skates, a tulip, perfume, scotch tape, and more. And I guess I AM using those criteria. +5 bat-points

The Villains
Though believed dead, the Puppet Master returns disguised as Howdy Doody.
I'm not kidding either. His door actually says "H. Deuty - Puppeteer". You know what? Screw how ridiculous the Howdy Doody thing is, this is a puppeteer with an OFFICE. Anyway, his shtick, as ever, is to use his Secret Wars action figures to control superheroes. Thor would normally be out of his range, but he's got a radioactive guy called Radion, funnily enough, to help power the process this time. Radion spends most of the issue with a box on his head, either because he's going on a ninja mission later, or to make me think he's the Mad Thinker's Awsome Android. Maybe that IS the ninja mission. When Wundarr makes Radion sick (I'm sure he must get that a lot), it's all over for that particular plot. +4 points

The villain-du-jour in Brave & the Bold is the Cannoneer, and what a convoluted plot he's masterminded. Bear with me - other blogs have avoided going into details for a reason...
First, this guy is a circus human cannonball who has turned to crime. He has his minion launch him great distances and always lands on his feet. Check out his precision as he blasts into the Commissioner's office:
Note also his helmet which is great for giving headbutts. Points off for having stolen it off Bulletman. The Cannoneer also makes use of a number of circus people as minions/pawns. More on them later. Now, his evil, evil plot:
1. In order to steal the world's great art treasures from the Brotherhood Express, he hatches a plan involving a fake stretch of track and a civil war ironclad. Batman stops him before he can begin.
2. He steals the train's new itinerary from the Commissioner's office.
3. Then, he drugs the circus' most beautiful midget, shrinking her to a few inches in size so that she can set up tiny gas cannisters inside the train to put the guards to sleep (they have no recollection of having falling asleep, mind you) while the treasures are replaced by fakes.
4. Where does he get all those fakes? Easy. His circus has created an exact replica for touring purposes. Of course, the Cannoneer places all the real treasure aboard the fake train, just to make it easier to find.
5. The minion that mans his cannon is Dum-Dum, a superstrong but apparently retarded man-ape. When the Cannoneer is discovered, he tries to flee with the train, but Dum-Dum's sleeping on the tracks preventing the train from moving. Our villain shows how evil he is by shooting Dum-Dum with a sandbag. Next thing you know, though, he's on top of the train fighting Batman. Circus folk loyalty knows no bounds, I guess.
6. When it looks like he's gonna lose, he remotely blows the tracks up ahead. If he can't enjoy the world's art treasures, no one will! Thankfully the circus folk rebuild the track just in time with the help of an elephant!
7. His weakness: An irrational fear of ripping his shorts.
8.Batman saves him, cuz you know, he's a good guy, and the Cannoneer repays him by shooting him off the train. It all devolves into a pretty exciting hand-to-hand fight, which he will lose. So close! +7 bat-points

Odds vs. Ends
From Marvel Two-in-One:
Wundarr saves the day penalty: -2 points
The art in this thing is ROUGH. I really expected more from Herb Trimpe. Aside from the overly-caricatured Puppet Master, we get things like this:
In many ways, he tries to be Jack Kirby and fails dismally. Don Blake in particular seems to have a bad case of Kirby hands.
-3 points, +1 point for the Kirby hand

From Brave and the Bold:
Of all the nations represented on the Brotherhood Express, the Netherlands ("the land of dikes") is the saddest. Among their greatest treasures is a wheel of gouda cheese that almost kills the Atom.
Somehow, I'm giving this a bonus point. +1 bat-point
I think it actually makes sense that in a universe with superhumans, many of them would gravitate to the circus. Spandex coolness without the responsibilities of a superhero. +1 bat-point
This issue is pretty dense (in every way). Not only is there a lot of action, but Haney finds time to indulge in a thought-provoking subplot about a beautiful French midget who's about to lose her place to another who's an inch shorter. The antidote to the Cannoneer's shrinking drug makes her a giant at issue's end, which is great because now, Tex the World's Tallest Cowboy can finally ask her to marry him. +2 bat-points
The midget's name is Lili de la Pooche. Being French is no excuse. -1 bat-point
Hey, that damned "Read 'em ever, miss 'em never" tagline seems to be gone for good! I can start to live my life again. +1 bat-point

Farewells and Scoring
Unfriendly Farewell translated from the pidgin Shakespearean: "Hey Benji, sorry the Odinson trashed your home and almost killed you and your family, but I gots shit to do."
They keep brushing him off and he keeps taking it. I'm just waiting for the day when he LOSES IT!!! +3 points

It never gets friendlier for Batman than when a Justice Leaguer drops by and they can yuck it up with all their inside jokes, and make you feel like you're not in the gang. Oh, is that just me and Snapper Carr then? Very well.

(With appologies to the Treadmill, but the B&W wouldn't scan well... do check out their review of this comic.)

The Atom catches a train to Ivy Town this time. Never let it be said that superheroes don't travel in style. +2 bat-points

Results please... Oh ouch. The Atom proves that size doesn't really matter as he blows Thor right off the mat, 27 to 8! That puts Batman 1 point ahead of the Thing and 26 points ahead of the struggling Tom Cochrane Band*

Be here next time for the all catfight round!

*Really, Tom Cochrane shouldn't have even entered the ring with these guys. I don't know what he doing here. Life isn't a highway, it's a railroad.