WoW, you're getting your mount!

Playing World of Warcraft and about to reach level 40? That means you're about to spend 100 gold pieces on a mount. Finally! No more walking through deserts at a snail's pace! Purchasing a new mode of locomotion has been problematic since before man, dwarf and gnome invented the wheel, so follow Lyndawithay now as she heads down to the elephant dealer for her new mount. No used pachiderms for her!

You will have three models to choose from. In Lynda's case, Purple, Gray or Brown. What? No cherry red?

Feel the skin of your future mount. Since it will be caressing your bottom for extended trips, you want it to be comfortable.

In the case of "elekks", Lynda also has to check the tusks. Unscrupulous vendors may have tied sculpted Ivory soap to the animal and sold the real thing at the Auction House.

The animal must be healthy. A quick check of its bowels will show if the elekk has been fed properly. Nothing worse than a mount with digestive problems, I think you will agree.

Finally, use WoW's rather unrealistic non-collision platform to walk inside the beast and jump. This will give you an idea of what you look like atop the noble beast. After much indecision, Lynda settles for a Gray Elekk, pays her cash and names it Orwell.

First order of business: Stamping a Blood Elf to death. YAAAAA!!!