318. RivalsFORMULA: Move Along Home + The Game + We'll Always Have Paris
WHY WE LIKE IT: The racketball rivalry.
WHY WE DON'T: The casino rivalry.
REVIEW: Chris Sarandon is the second Princess Bride alumni to guest on the show, and though his con man Martus is an interesting spin on the El-Aurian race, he plays it about as comically false as he did Humperdinck. But that's ok. It's a light episode that's not really meant to be taken seriously, at the heart of which are the rise and fall of Martus and Quark's fortunes. Don't look at the probability machines too closely, they're a patently ridiculous MacGuffin. As a "gambling machine", it's about as interesting as Chula in Move Along Home. It seems to be about the equivalent of flipping a coin, and several notches under the slot machine.
In fact, I'm pretty sure the story could have been told without the outrageous scientific premise. You don't really need a magic luck device to make Rom switch sides, or Barbara Bosson's rich widow trust Martus, etc. In fact, it makes Martus a weaker character. Imagine the same story where his conniving is the source of his good luck, and Quark's promotion deal the source of Martus' downfall.
Since the Martus story doesn't have much originality to offer (oooh, the con man gets conned), the Bashir-O'Brien racketball subplot steals the show. O'Brien's been shown to fairly dislike Bashir, but Rivals finally puts them at odds. On the one hand, the veteran with something to prove, and on the other, the young buck who doesn't want to humiliate someone he respects. Hilarity ensues.
I mean it. Bashir's breathing exercises are a hoot (just like his speedsuit), and the more he tries to break off the rivalry, the more O'Brien forces him into it. When they're about to stop playing, Quark gets them back in again with the first use of the Bajoran War Orphan Fund, a sword of Damocles that will often hang above the characters' heads. Quark trying to subsequently fix the match is also good fun. The racketball also gives us the only genuinely freaky "altered luck" moment in the show as the ball keeps bouncing back to O'Brien's hand. Even more improbable is how sympathetic Keiko comes across in Rivals. I'm being facetious, but she's great when not written as the nagging wife who doesn't want to be there. Dressing her man up as a samurai is one of her best moments, ever.
LESSON: My favorite rule of acquisition - Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
REWATCHABILITY - Medium: The main plot is pure fluff, but the way the episode builds on the O'Brien-Bashir rivarly (and thus, friendship) is well worthwhile.
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