Star Trek 341: Meridian

341. Meridian

FORMULA: The Masterpiece Society + When the Bough Breaks + Hollow Pursuits + Brigadoon. In space.

WHY WE LIKE IT: Kira calling Odo sweetheart. Quark's head on her body.

WHY WE DON'T: Brigadoon. In space.

REVIEW: The low point of the season, Meridian is only memorable for its subplot and every time we were away from it, I kept badgering the television to get me back to it. In the subplot, Jeffrey Combs (of later Weyoun fame) takes on his first Star Trek role as Quark's rich customer who wants a holo-image of Kira to do stuff with. Hilarity ensues (see Why We Like It). It's also where the writers start being cruel to Odo vis à vis his crush on Kira, having to endure her calling him her lover and such. Just a lot of fun.

No so the main plot. DS9 is at its weakest when it attempts TNG plots, and this owes as much to The Masterpiece Society as to Brigadoon. Like that episode was any kind of Masterpiece. Eeech. So an alien makes lewd comments about Dax's spots and she falls madly in love with him, so much so that she's ready to leave her former life to stay with him on his Amazing Disappearing Planet.

Not only is it an unbelievable turn of events (even Sisko says it's out of character), the entire romance is handled in the cheesiest possible way. Sickly sweet music accompanies idyllic pastoral scenes of tree climbing and fruit eating. It's not quite Riker falling for a hermaphrodite, but Dural might remind you of one of Troi's milksops. His only character trait is that he is in love/lust with Dax. Even Sisko's tears in his farewell scene are stomach-turning. Bashir might get the better, quieter goodbye. Even the story's final moments don't ring true. Awful.

LESSON: To thine own self be true. (A lesson DS9 just learned the hard way.)

REWATCHABILITY - Low: Fastforwarding the main plot isn't enough. We need a 10-minute edit of the episode to make us completely forget it ever happened.