Batman and the Outsiders #0: Pages 7-8

More of Halo and Metamorpho working the hospital's night shift...Ok, we've insulted Mike Barr's plotting and character designs. What about his dialog? Yeah, it's pretty bad too. "Excuse me, my leg seems to have been damaged in an altercation..." or whatnot. Is this guy a robot or what? A guy with a prosthesis? I can't imagine getting injured in a fight with a flamethrower and saying that in a calm, reasoned voice.
And there you have it. Halo is a moron. Sprinklers, yes. Legs, no.
So the terrorists are armed with guns, flamethrowers and... katanas? Do they also have batarangs and afro combs? This is a most ridiculous piece of business just to give Katana a sword fight. Where is she anyway?
Ah there she is. Stuff you didn't know about Katana: She's a mistress of disguise. Not only can she change her posture to disguise herself as an older, plumper sanitation engineer - FOR AS LONG AS THEY'VE BEEN INFILTRATING THE HOSPITAL - but she has the ability to always stand at an angle where we won't see the undisguised back of her head. Or don't I understand how Halloween masks work?
Enter Jefferson Piece, AKA Black Lightning. He's also working at the hospital and even has his name on his shirt. I bet they have to make those special. And I bet it takes a couple days at least. So just how long have the Outsiders been working the hospital. Just when did Miklos attempt suicide, and for how long has Gordon been waiting at his bed side? Or did Batman get them all jobs here just in case it was ever useful? Even if Pierce brought his own, it still seems like a lot of preparation to take down these guys.
You know what else might have helped keep your identity a secret? Not putting your real name on your shirt in the first place.
You can throw electricity around and you're opening move is to... jump into the middle of the bad guys to take them hand to hand? I know, being in the Outsiders is extremely frustrating. Get the rage out, Jeff.
And now for the promised sword action. And Katana can't win because, hey, the terrorist has a death wish. Makes perfect sense. "I can't lose cuz I'm already resigned to lose... no, no, you can't take that away from me."

A reminder that this is still supposed to be the "hook" that got you to buy B&TO #1.


H said...

The hook. Well that's frightening. What does it say about me that I purchased this series for a loooong time?

As Halo might say, "what's a brain?"

Siskoid said...

It only says that it was a simpler time, with fewer choices and cheaper comics.

Austin Gorton said...

So when do you think "Dr. Wayne" is going to show up?

(Because you know if Black Lightning is undercover as an orderly, than Batman cast himself as a doctor. Probably the Chief of Staff).


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