Fashion Nightmares: Who's Who Vol.6

Haven't opened up the DC closet since last June and boy is it rank in there. Rotten, rotten fashions. Nothing's worse than an inelegant woman, am I right? And the Worst Dressed Woman of Who's Who volume VI has to be Doctor Cyber. Now sure, she was badly disfigured in an incident involving a Tong gunman and a brazier of hot coals, but that's no reason to let herself go. If she couldn't get a more attractive mask (may I recommend whoever Madame Masque goes to?), could it at least match the rest of her accessories? Then you've got gloves that might as well be sleeves, and way too heavy ankle bracelets.On the plus side, her logo is made of delicious candy!

Even a beloved character like Lois Lane isn't safe from bad shopping choices, as this work ensemble shows. Looks like Perry White is about to call her in to discreetly ask if she's pregnant or something.
But more disturbing than a badly dressed woman is a man dressed AS a woman. How else would you describe Deimos' attire? Between the pixie boots, the loin cloth (extra long), the open sleeves and the attractively bare midriff, he looks more like an opposite of Jennifer Morgan than of her father Warlord.
See?
How about Despero? Before he became a big hot pink gorilla, he wore a pink, orange and blue outfit sure to confuse the senses of any color-blind members of the Justice League (from the evidence at hand, only Vibe). But just how does he put that costume on? The boots and pants are one-piece, or are those just very long boots that chaff at the crotch under his little skirt? And then there's the mask. Trouble lining up the three eye holes? How about getting it over his palmed horns? No, I don't see how that's possible at all.
As for Doctor Destiny, he's taken his obsession with the Masters of the Universe too frickin' far. LAWSUIT far.
Worst male costume goes to Doctor Polaris however. Purple and blue, with an open face headpiece (you better be handsome, sugar) and metal bunny ears. I get the magnet symbol, but he could at least give himself a codename that starts with a "U". Right now, it just stands for Ugly. And notice this is a change from an earlier uniform (in the background), which features striped shorts stuffed, no doubt, with lots of kleenex.
After that, he went for a barrel-shaped purple helmet... Doctor Polaris: Bipolar AND no sense of style.

BONUS: ALL SHOPPING AT THE SAME STORE

If Who's Who Vol. 6 could be famous for one thing, it would be Dart's side-boobage, but if it could be famous for a second thing, it would be the number of characters dressed in purplish robes. Obviously, there's DeSaad:
And he's apparently given the name of his tailor to the Dark Circle whose leaders got an advantageous bulk rate:
Even the Endless shop there!
So run, don't walk, to Robes R Us, 275 W.Armaghetto Lane, Apokolips. Tell 'em DeSaad sent you.

6 comments:

De said...

Even before Dr. Cyber was disfigured, she still dressed pretty hideously. This was during the "mod" period of Wonder Woman (when Diana lost her powers the first time).

I think I saw Deimos at the DC Gay Pride Parade participating in the Drag Race. A couple of gestures and it was rainin' men. Hallelujah!

Siskoid said...

Even more egrigious. Mod should be about fashion. Wonder Woman looked quite good, for example.

Doctor Mi said...

I agree. Too much purple in comics!

`Nuff said.

Bill D. said...

Whoever designed the Doctor Cyber logo was a big fan of JNT-era Doctor Who.

Siskoid said...

Which is the same time as when this issue of Who's Who was published!

Porridge Face said...

Wow, after the Sandman came along and claimed so many readers including a bunch of readers that don't usually read comics at all, I had never thought about Doctor Destiny as he originated. Maybe my memory blocked him out along with He-man by association.

 

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