The Wedding That Is No More

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN ANNUAL #21, Marvel Comics, 1987
So Joe Quesada is convinced we don't want to read about a married Spider-Man, so he undoes the whole thing. Ok, sure. A publicity stunt to undo another publicity stunt. But what was that highly publicized wedding LIKE?

Starting a 5-part series on superhero weddings, not because I'm in any kind of romantic mood, but because superhero weddings are inherently funny. They're all about waiting to see which villain will crash the party, and then saying how it's a breath of fresh air when none does. 1987's big wedding was indeed Spider-Man and Mary Jane Watson. A pretty big deal that got media attention, I remember, with actors staging a version of the wedding at Shea Stadium in New York, home of the Mets. But as a comic? It's a bit tepid.

I know you want to get to the ceremony as soon as possible, so I won't bore you with the details of the story. Basically, there's a little fight with Electro in the first couple pages, then a lot of angst as Peter Parker and Mary Jane both have second thoughts. Peter can't let go of poor, dead Gwen Stacy (it's a comic and you never know when a corpse will show up safe and sound - he doesn't want to miss that booty call), and Mary Jane is being actively seduced by Batman.

Don't believe me? There's this millionaire guy Bruce who keeps hounding her, his face always in shadow. He drives a sports car. Not damning evidence, but look at this. He sends his ol' pal Superman to give her a mixed tape. Well, looks like Clark Kent, at any rate.
Anyway, they're so unsure about the marriage thing that they hold off on telling their aunts until what looks like the day before. Don't these things take about a year of planning? Well, planning's not big with these folks. How else can you explain that there are exactly two people at Peter's bachelor party? Harry Osborne and Flash Thompson. Guys who have both tried to beat him up. Gotta get yourself some better friends, Pete!

Ok, so the wedding itself. Here it is:
I'm a bit surprised that Spider-Man's wearing the red-and-blues, since at this point, he's using the black and white costume. Isn't that the more formal, tux-like costume? I also like how there's a heroes' section and a villains' section. You want to keep those guys apart until the reception. But gee, didn't any of them get to bring their Plus Ones? Ok ok, that's not really the wedding. It's Peter's nightmare about the wedding. Still, pretty funky. I bet he thought about getting Doc Ock to play the organ for real, or at least DJ at the reception. Best dressed? The Thing, of course.

The real wedding (now also a dream) is on the city hall steps and both the bride and groom get there late (it's all about not planning it, remember?). There's no way I can comment on Mary Jane's dress, and I don't think it mattered to any comics geek. All we care about now is that Peter's marrying the "classic" MJ, not the "big hair fashion disaster" MJ. So here's the real wedding picture:
Kinda unintentionally spooky, isn't it? Why are they all crowding the happy couple like that? I mean, it's an outdoor affair, for chrissake. Give 'em some room. And before you ask, no, I don't really know who those people are on the bottom left. Friends of the family circa 1987, apparently. Oh, and we can take a breath of fresh air, there's no villainous wedding crasher. They must all have fallen asleep around page 6.

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