Made Me Quit... JLE

JUSTICE LEAGUE INTERNATIONAL Vol.2 #54, DC Comics, September 1993
"MADE ME QUIT" Week Part 4! As I said yesterday, I was sorely disappointed that the Justice League titles all became boring at the same time and I quit them all on the same month. But I think the main culprit has to be Justice League Europe #54 (I know it says JLI on the cover, but they'd recently changed it and I can't help but think of it as the JLE).

It too was going through some reconstruction, getting some more international characters into the team, including Dr. Light (Japan), the Tasmanian Devil (uhm, Tasmania) and a new 13-year-old character from India who thinks she may be turning into a multi-armed goddess (ahhh puberty in the comic book world). Yes, these are the kind of stars that draw people back to the title.

It doesn't help that some unknown force is making the Justice Leaguers (now headquartered in a haunted castle) act strangely (or is it even them?). I call this the "Naked Time Principle" after those Star Trek episodes where the characters are made to act weird, but that each occur too early in their respective series so that you don't know if the hero is acting out of character or not. For example, I can't tell if Dr. Light is normally a slut or if she's being manipulated somehow.

Yet here she is skulking around the castle in a slip and garters (if she sleeps in that, then she must be a slut) and throws herself at the one gay character in the team (this isn't just a crack at his reaction, it's been mentioned in Justice League Quarterly, so it's canon).
Meanwhile, Metamorpho is severely depressed (again) and comforts himself by stuffing his head into Power Girl's ginormous cleavage.
"Metamorpho, is that your wooden leg or are you just happy to see me?"

Flash arrives (finally a real hero) and tells everyone he's discovered they've lost a day. They think it's Thursday, but it's Friday. It takes a whole page to convince them of this and now I've lost a whole day. Then, there's some discussion of Power Girl's phantom pregnancy (she was preggers, but hadn't been with a man, but now she's not anymore, she can just feel it, and I've lost two whole days).

One emergency echogram later and we find out the truth: Power Girl is a robot!!! Ok, time for some mindless superhero action. They all explode from the same point and go after Power Girl.
Hey, shouldn't the Flash have seen her behind the arras? There should have been a couple of noticeable bumps in the tapestry after all...

Anyway, they all go crazy and start attacking each other, and then they're all robots. And then the Flash starts walking on all fours and barking like a dog, and Power Girl gets all horny about that and thinks he's sexy, and just when you think it can't get any worse, a neon pink guy shows up and declares he is God. Deliver me from this evil, why don'tcha?

10 comments:

Sea-of-Green said...

Oh, GAWD, yes, I'm ashamed to admit that I own this issue. I'm also ashamed to admit that I stuck it out with the JLE 'til the very end. Luckily, the series didn't last much longer after this one.

And, yes, Taz is gay -- and he supposedly had a huge crush on Hal Jordan at the time. Just to add to the interpersonal shenanigans, I guess.

De said...

I think I dropped JLE/JLI around the time the Beefeater was made a member. I think I dropped it so I could add another Image book to the stack.

SallyP said...

I'm ashamed to admit it, but your description makes this sound deliciously bad.

Of COURSE Taz had a crush on Hal! EVERYONE has a crush on Hal! Even Hal.

EsPECIALLY Hal.

Jeff R. said...

Shouldn't that be "Naked Now Syndrome"? The original series one was late enough into the run to work okay. (As was the Enterprise variant, at least in my opinion...)

Siskoid said...

The Naked Time was aired 4th. That's pretty early!

Unknown said...

Power Girl's worst costume by far.

How many times did they change the titles of the Justice League books? I guess it beats rebooting and starting the numbering from scratch, but just barely.

Awful, awful art, just like the other JL book featured this week. Was DC being cheap in the 90s?

rob! said...

what. the. hell?

Jeff R. said...

4th? Really? Wow.

(I suppose, though, that by this it was the 4th episode that very, very few ST fans saw. So 'Singularity' was the only time they did it right, then...)

Jeff R. said...

I dropped JLAEIOU immediately after 'Breakdowns' ended, stopping in again briefly for the Death of Superman tie-ins, and now coming back until Morrison took the reins...

Unknown said...

Ummm ... they're all robots, Flash is barking like a dog and some pink guy says he's God?

I can't even think of a sarcastic remark here.

 

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