Obligatory Batman Post

It's that certain opening weekend. Of course, I'm gonna wait a while, maybe catch a matinée in the middle of the week. It's not that I'm not excited about The Dark Knight, it's that I hate people. But let's go back to a time that wasn't about hate...

DETECTIVE COMICS #225, DC Comics, November 1955
No, I don't own this landmark issue. I got it in 1992 as a reprint part of the cool Silver Age Classics line. It's important, you see, because it features the first appearance of the Martian Manhunter. So let's talk about the Batman story instead.

"If I Were Batman" is a crazy story in which people can win a contest to be Batman for a day while the real Batman is speaking at a CSI convention out west. It's fine, because the winners have to agree to follow Robin's orders so that they play safe. And if by safe they mean throwing these guys out of airplanes and onto hydrogen-filled balloon spacemen, then yeah, they'll be fine.
So Batman gets played by a nerd, then by a posh actor, then by a fat guy (sadly, the Silver Age Commissioner Gordon)... It's a lot like the Batman movies prior to Batman Begins.

But there's this criminal that needs catching and Robin, who's not enjoying being on top I guess, instinctively knows that the contest winners can't possibly stop the crook's already forgotten scheme (I wasn't reading that part very closely). So he writes Batman a letter, and I suppose the postal service was better in the 50s, because he's back that same day, and has enough time to win the contest as Bruce Wayne that he can catch the bad guy the next day.

And this is one of the three Silver Age Batman plots, isn't it? He's unmasked, but nobody believes it. So you've got your Bruce Wayne playing at being Batman, but he's got to make it look like he's really no good at it. Alfred drives the Batmobile, and Bruce keeps saying badass stuff like "sporting" and "ripping". The real indignity comes at the end though when Bat-Bruce knocks the bad guy out... WITH HIS ASS!!!!
By the guy's expression in the second panel, ol' Bruce didn't have time to wash up after the plane ride in the last sequence.

Want me to say a word about the Roy Raymond, TV Detective strip? Well, seeing as it's a mystery that involves Roy drawing a US president on the body of a circus strongman with UV paint to force a swindler to admit he tricked an old man into signing over his fortune... I think I won't.

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