In stark opposition to his kickassery in Secret Wars, Galactus' advertized fight with Phoenix in Excalibur #25 is a real disappointment. Galactus probably doesn't want me to talk about it, but if I blame writer Chris Claremont, he should forgive me and not, like, eat my planet, or something.
So presenting: Galactus!
Please, pay no mind to that lighthouse, ok? I just don't want to draw anymore attention to it than is required. Really I don't. Now, right off the bat, it looks like Galactus doesn't really NEED to eat Earth this time. He's even getting kind of chubby, so I call this just a bad case of the munchies. We're not far off from having to ask Jerry Springer to help him out of his ship. His midnight snack of choice, however, isn't Earth. It's the Phoenix Force, currently held by Rachel Summers. (I will here spare you Chris Wozniak's pin-headed Rachel apparently wearing Shadowcat's hand-me-downs - I guess everybody's chunky under Wozniak's pencil.)
Baby fat isn't the only problem facing Galactus in Excalibur though. He's generally not on his game.
Where's the unfazeable, silent, you're all gnats and I shan't waste my divine breath on you Galactus we so dearly love and fear?
Claremont can't write that Galactus to save his life apparently. Bla bla bla.
So forgive me if I'm less than scared for our world's very existence. But it IS in jeopardy, as evidenced by the only Marvel appearance of Neil Gaiman's Death of the Endless. Look!
Galactus is dangerous on such an apocalyptic scale that it attracts Death from other comic book universes, and copyrights be damned! After a couple of quick changes, Death eventually takes on its lesser known Lumberjack of Doom aspect and watches the proceedings.
In the ensuing fight, Phoenix takes Galactus' herald Nova by the hair/flame, spins like a cartoon animal and uses her to knock Galactus down. Humiliating!
Galactus can't be happy with his performance. And yet, a few pages later, Phoenix accepts her fate and gets into Galactus' blender willingly to save her friends. And then he doesn't eat her cuz she's way too spicy, and well, that's that.
Not much of a fight at all. Another case of the Impossible Man popping up as Galactus and painting himself the proper colors? YOU make the call!
So presenting: Galactus!
Please, pay no mind to that lighthouse, ok? I just don't want to draw anymore attention to it than is required. Really I don't. Now, right off the bat, it looks like Galactus doesn't really NEED to eat Earth this time. He's even getting kind of chubby, so I call this just a bad case of the munchies. We're not far off from having to ask Jerry Springer to help him out of his ship. His midnight snack of choice, however, isn't Earth. It's the Phoenix Force, currently held by Rachel Summers. (I will here spare you Chris Wozniak's pin-headed Rachel apparently wearing Shadowcat's hand-me-downs - I guess everybody's chunky under Wozniak's pencil.)Baby fat isn't the only problem facing Galactus in Excalibur though. He's generally not on his game.
Where's the unfazeable, silent, you're all gnats and I shan't waste my divine breath on you Galactus we so dearly love and fear?
Claremont can't write that Galactus to save his life apparently. Bla bla bla.So forgive me if I'm less than scared for our world's very existence. But it IS in jeopardy, as evidenced by the only Marvel appearance of Neil Gaiman's Death of the Endless. Look!
Galactus is dangerous on such an apocalyptic scale that it attracts Death from other comic book universes, and copyrights be damned! After a couple of quick changes, Death eventually takes on its lesser known Lumberjack of Doom aspect and watches the proceedings.In the ensuing fight, Phoenix takes Galactus' herald Nova by the hair/flame, spins like a cartoon animal and uses her to knock Galactus down. Humiliating!
Galactus can't be happy with his performance. And yet, a few pages later, Phoenix accepts her fate and gets into Galactus' blender willingly to save her friends. And then he doesn't eat her cuz she's way too spicy, and well, that's that.
Not much of a fight at all. Another case of the Impossible Man popping up as Galactus and painting himself the proper colors? YOU make the call!
Comments
A brush with Death. Ha. Ha.
I got the feeling that was a bit more Galactus. I don't think he won, but he points out Rachel's fighting him is more deleterious to the universe than what he does, and she's stymied by that.
After reprinting the issue where Jean "died" and was reborn as Phoenix, there was a backup story that basically had Jean waking up (on the moon?) to the Lumberjack building a house. Their conversation was basically a metaphor for Jean deciding to live or die. Or something like that.
So I guess its kind of nifty that Lumberjack Death shows up again when Phoenix is fighting Chunklactus in this issue.