Acadian Geek Rap

The things that keep you going while you're on tour... For my improv troupe last week, it was Radio Radio's Jacuzzi. Radio Radio is the terrible new name of what was once Jacobus & Maleco, Acadian rap artists from Nova Scotia. Jacuzzi is at once a parody of the kind of 50¢ gangsta rap that's all about the bling, and a science fiction geekfest not unlike the Beastie Boys' Intergalactic. But where the Beastie Boys throw out a Star Trek Original Series reference, these guys go for DS9! Screw you, mainstream!

I'm posting the video with the subtitles, because Nova Scotia Acadians have an incredibly dense accent and vocabulary, as different from standardized French as Welsh is to Californian (but imagine the Welshman throwing in Gallic words all over the place). I wouldn't understand a word if I hadn't gone out with a girl from the South shore for 4 or 5 years. And for those of you without any French background at all (i.e. most of you), I've translated the song into English as best I could under the video.

Ladies and gentlemen, Jacuzzi...

There's plenty of room in my jacuzzi, do you want to come in my jacuzzi
There's plenty of room in my jacuzzi, do you want to come in my jacuzzi

A jacuzzi full of clowns it's a festival
A jacuzzi extra-large it fits a horse's ass
My jacuzzi, take a swim, submarine, watch out
GPS underwater, the new Jacques Cousteaus

We drink homemade wine in really big bottles
Your jacuzzi believe you me, it's not the same
I sell one-way cruises, go around my jacuzzi
I know you want to come cuz I see your jealousy
Bump that! I put a pool in my jacuzzi
"No bathing suit" the only rule in my jacuzzi.

[Chorus:
I have a big jacuzzi, just like in the movies
My friends think I'm cool and women like it
It's big and full of water like the girls I like
My jacuzzi is 3000 times bigger than yours!]

There's plenty of room in my jacuzzi, do you want to come in my jacuzzi
There's plenty of room in my jacuzzi, do you want to come in my jacuzzi

If you could only see what I've seen in my jacuzzi
Mermaids and UFOs in my jacuzzi
Protests for seals in my jacuzzi
Whites and Indians fighting in my jacuzzi

I wear a big fur coat in my jacuzzi
My life has changed since I've gotten a jacuzzi
I eat onion rings in my jacuzzi
Every day is Christmas and I don't pay taxes!

[chorus]

There's plenty of room in my jacuzzi, do you want to go in my jacuzzi
Listen to the music playing it's my own CD, hey this tune here is called Jacuzzi

Surf and turf, my jacuzzi people surf
Employed from 9 to 5, others on their stamps
Ah, I'm telling ya in my jacuzzi life is simple
I sell condos all around my jacuzzi
Tourist's brochure to Japan for my jacuzzi
2 million tourists! Man for my jacuzzi
Private jet landing strip for my jacuzzi
Everybody ends up in my jacuzzi
I need a new planet for my jacuzzi!

[chorus]

There's plenty of room in my jacuzzi, do you want to come in my jacuzzi
I have plenty of room in my jacuzzi, do you want to go in my jacuzzi

You can see my jacuzzi from the Deep Space 9
It's big and gas-powered and the motor pushes
Sitting on my throne with my fi'teen cellphones
I have calls that wake me up cuz there are 7 time zones
E-Z breeze-e Beautiful Jacuzzi (x3) Peace and Love

I have plenty of room in my jacuzzi, do you want to come in my jacuzzi
There's plenty of room in my jacuzzi, do you want to come in my jacuzzi

It gets in your head so that pretty soon, your entire life is in a jacuzzi! Make up your own words!

Rom the Spaceknight in my jacuzzi!
Ambush Bug popping into my jacuzzi!
Rolling a saving throw for my jacuzzi!
Scotty, beam me down to my jacuzzi!