Who Watches the DVD Extras?

So yeah, I'm not planning to go see Watchmen at the theater. On the one hand, I don't really need to see a film that's practically shot for shot a comic I have in my library. On the other, three plus hours in a theater seat is ergonomically excruciating for me. No, I'll be waiting for the very nice DVD package that's bound to come out. That way, I can watch it from the comfort of my own couch, perhaps even with the comic on my knees, following along with the panels as they appear on the screen. And from what I hear, there are going to be some great bells and whistles to make it worth my while.

Owl case!
A handsome Owlship shaped carrying case for all those discs and goodies.3 extra hours!
I found Lord of the Rings only mildly interesting in theaters and engrossing at home. Why? Nothing left on the cutting room floor! Now we'll be able to get the full, nerdfested experience of Watchmen AS IF WE WERE REALLY READING IT IN REAL TIME!

Alternate ending with cosmic vagina monster!
Now you can have it any way you want it.
Shot by shot with the Watchmen
A version of the film that freeze-frames every time a panel is matched perfectly, which should be for every panel in the 6-hour version.

Actual bells!
If you're going to follow along, this option rings a bell to make you turn the page. No word yet if we'll also get actual whistles.

The text pieces as read by famous voices!
Interludes between chapters by the world's best reading voices. Under the Hood read by Patrick Stewart. The pirate stuff by Brian Blessed. And Jack Black reads Rorschach's arrest record and pornographic sketch.

The entire comic with the characters replaced by the Charlton heroes they were based on!
A CGI schlong shrinker!
For those fanboys who feel threatened by a blue man-god's giant piece--oh sorry, I mean who prefer Dr. Manhattan's more discreet genitals from the comic.

Alan Moore's credit!

The bloody smiley button and all this too!

Comments

De said…
I nearly spat out my coffee at "Alan Moore's credit."

One of the things I had planned for this weekend (I've since been told I'll be working this weekend) was to pull out my copy and read it once again.
Sea-of-Green said…
>>Actual bells!
If you're going to follow along, this option rings a bell to make you turn the page. No word yet if we'll also get actual whistles.<<

"Remember to turn the page when Tinker Bell rings her little bells, like this!" ;-)
Siskoid said…
You're a mom, Sea. Do they still have those read-along books?
Austin Gorton said…
Ha! Even if only half of these were true, it'd still be awesome.

Personally, I'm crossing my fingers for Patrick Stewart reading Under the Hood :)
Tim Knight said…
They've already done a "readalong" version - it's called the "motion comic"!

http://www.heropress.net/2009/03/perfect-illustration.html
Siskoid said…
Please, don't mention that heinous new medium here.