What If... The Spider Had Been Bitten by a Radioactive Human?

The back-up in What If #8 is the earliest instance of a What If tradition, and that's the comedy parallel world. This is the brainchild of Scott Shaw! who would later become the force behind Captain Carrot and his Amazing Zoo Crew, so not a stranger to "Amazing" funny animals!

What If Vol.1 #8 (April 1978) - Second story
Based on: Amazing Fantasy #15
The true history: As the Watcher tells us, you'd have to have been in a coma for 20 years (now 30) not to know the story of how Peter Parker got bit by a radioactive spider.
Turning point: What if Marvel was deep into Funny Animal comics?
Story type: Silly
Watcher's mood: Roy Thomas picketed by Howard the Duck (a common enough mood)
Altered history: In this universe of funny animals, we follow the story of a teenage spider called Webster Weaver, who's apparently adopted, cuz his aunt and uncle are insects.
And kids: Spiders ain't insects. They's arachnids! The same kind of emo science geek, Webster goes to Hugeville to see a science exhibit, and gets bitten by a berserk scientist high on x-rays:
He discovers the bit gave him the powers of a human being, and the Man-Spider is born. Of course, it takes the death of Uncle Bug to turn him into a hero, and from there, the animalistic villains start pouring in! (Click for a more legible version.)
That Doctorpuss is particularly disturbing. More because you can't get enough?! Ok!!!
But what about the guy who killed Uncle Bug? Turns out it's a walking spray can out to destroy the ozone layer (avant-garde for 1978)! And he's come prepared:
Wow, that's a lot of manacles. He gets out of it with a combination of human-sense and the proportional strength of a human being, don't worry.
Books canceled as a result: All of them. (Ok, maybe just Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham.)
These things happen: I still regard Marvel Tails and Spider-Ham with a great deal of affection, but Peter Porker is a pig in that. So I guess, no, a spider never got the powers of a man. But both characters worked at the Daily Beagle, so there are some crossover ideas. How would you feel about that, Pete?

6 comments:

Alden said...

I am having a particularly hard time imagining battles between the culture vulture and man-spider. Maybe he plans on taking over the world with a combination of offensive post-eating of rancid animals and boring to death the rest with explanations of why he likes Mozart more than Bach.

The Mutt said...

Wheatcakes!

Gary said...

The potato is the Chameleon.

Anonymous said...

In an issue of Italian comic book Alan Ford, there was a story called Arachno, about a giant antropomorphic spider who steals insects for food. In the end, it is revealed that he was once a regular spider who got bit by a human. I don't remember the human's name, but it was similar to Peter Parker.

Siskoid said...

Interesting. I wonder if I can find that here.

Wooly Rupert said...

Didn't we find out that Spider-Ham's origin was he was a spider that lived in May Porker's basement, and that she was a mad scientist to boot. A radiation experiment drover her temporarily bonkers and she grabbed the spider and bit him. It turned him into a Pig with a Spider's abilities. May was traumatised by the experiment and became a simple-minded old lady and Peter stuck around to take care of her.

 

Blog Archive

Category

5 Things to Like (21) Activities (23) Advice (74) Alien Nation (34) Aliens Say the Darndest Things (8) Alpha Flight (25) Amalgam (53) Ambush Bug (46) Animal Man (17) anime (52) Aquaman (70) Archetypes (14) Archie Heroes (10) Arrowed (20) Asterix (9) Atom (30) Avengers (58) Awards (33) Babylon 5 (140) Batman (677) Battle Shovel (13) Battlestar Galactica (134) Black Canary (22) BnB 2-in1 (40) Books (60) Booster Gold (16) Buck Rogers (12) Buffy (6) Canada (70) Captain America (69) Captain Marvel (55) Cat (156) CCGs (51) Charlton (12) Circles of Hell (6) Class (11) Comics (3960) Comics Code Approved (12) Conan (15) Contest (13) Cooking (15) Crisis (77) Daredevil (33) Dating Kara Zor-El (5) Dating Lois Lane (23) Dating Lucy Lane (13) Dating Princess Diana (11) DCAU (404) Deadman (9) Dial H (128) Dice (10) Dinosaur Island (16) Dinosaurs (67) Director Profiles (9) Doctor Who (1676) Doom Patrol (22) Down the Rabbit Hole (7) Dr. Strange (17) Encyclopedia (28) Fantastic Four (56) Fashion Nightmares (19) Fiasco (14) Films Within Films (6) Flash (83) Flushpoint (86) Foldees (12) French (49) Friday Night Fights (57) Fun with Covers (56) FW Team-Up (37) Galleries (9) Game design (26) Gaming (111) Geekly roundup (762) Geeks Anonymous (47) Geekwear (13) Gimme That Star Trek (60) Godzilla (53) Golden Age (432) Grant Morrison (75) Great Match-Ups of Science Fiction (8) Green Arrow (50) Green Lantern (87) Hawkman (39) Hero Points Podcast (13) Holidays (241) House of Mystery (15) Hulk (44) Human Target (8) Improv (34) Inspiration (45) Intersect (5) Invasion Podcast (44) Iron Man (50) Jack Kirby (87) Jimmy Olsen (74) JLA (94) JSA (25) K9 the Series (30) Kirby Motivationals (18) Krypto (202) Kung Fu (98) Learning to Fly (11) Legion (129) Letters pages (6) Liveblog (12) Lonely Hearts Podcast (21) Lord of the Rings (18) Machine Man Motivationals (10) Man-Thing (6) Marquee (89) Masters of the Universe (9) Memes (39) Memorable Moments (35) Metal Men (5) Metamorpho (65) Millennium (72) Mini-Comics (5) Monday Morning Macking (7) Movies (457) Mr. Terrific (6) Music (73) Nelvana of the Northern Lights (8) Nightmare Fuel (21) Number Ones (59) Obituaries (41) oHOTmu OR NOT? (76) Old52 (11) One Panel (291) Outsiders (165) Panels from Sheena (5) Paper Dolls (7) Play (76) Podcast (488) Polls (5) Questionable Fridays (13) Radio (18) Rants (20) Reaganocomics (8) Recollected (11) Red Bee (26) Red Tornado (10) Reign (563) Retro-Comics (3) Reviews (52) Rom (116) RPGs (539) Sandman (21) Sapphire & Steel (37) Sarah Jane Adventures (70) Saturday Morning Cartoons (5) SBG for Girls (4) Seasons of DWAITAS (100) Secret Origins Podcast (8) Secret Wars (25) SF (30) Shut Up Star Boy (1) Silver Age (368) Siskoid as Editor (34) Siskoid's Mailbox (10) Space 1999 (51) Spectre (20) Spider-Man (100) Spring Cleaning (15) ST non-fiction (19) ST novels: DS9 (8) ST novels: S.C.E. (19) ST novels: The Shat (2) ST novels: TNG (9) ST novels: TOS (13) Star Trek (1712) Streaky (2) Suicide Squad (38) Supergirl (89) Superman (1060) Supershill (11) Swamp Thing (23) Tales from Earth-Prime (7) Team Horrible (4) Teen Titans (83) That Franchise I Never Talk About (53) The Orville (29) The Prisoner (5) The Thing (54) Then and Now (4) Theory (51) Thor (52) Thursdays of Two Worlds (43) Time Capsule (8) Timeslip (7) Tintin (23) Torchwood (62) Tourist Traps of the Forgotten Realms (5) Toys (65) Turnarounds (7) TV (193) V (6) Waking Life (1) Warehouse 13 (9) Websites (102) What If? (103) Who's This? (203) Whoniverse-B (11) Wikileaked (3) Wonder Woman (82) X-Files (246) X-Men (102) Zero Hour Strikes (26) Zine (5)