The ACTUAL Athlete of the (last) Century is Mohammed Ali, this according to Sports Illustrated, Sports Night and my own discussion panel of armchair experts. And while Ali did fight Superman once, there are perhaps better contenders for Geekdom's Athlete of the Century. Counting down my top 10...
10. Rom (baseball)
Sure, I could open this list with some that's actually ATHLETIC, but sports is more than SKILL. It's HEART. Heart and HOW LUDICROUSLY THE UNDERDOG CAN PULL AN UNLIKELY VICTORY OUT OF ITS ARTHRITIC ASS. And of all the underdog stories in all the galaxy, Rom's bunt against the Vulcans Logicians best represents that ideal. And I love how Sisko turned that one point into a victory. It's all about where you set the bar. And with Rom on your team, it can't get any lower. Everybody wins!
9. NFL SuperPro (football)
Speaking of losers... If Ed Wood can be counted among the greatest film makers exactly because he's the worst, then SuperPro surely deserves to be counted among the best comic book heroes. Phil Grayfield used to play pro ball until he was injured, so he became a sports reporter. And while investigating a story about a scientist's 5 million $ super-football suit (if you thought players were already being paid too much...), thieves raid the Hall of Fame and torch the place. They don't take the suit though. And they torch a lot of priceless memorabilia. Who you gonna call to stop stupid criminals? A stupid superhero, of course. Nick puts on the suit (which he never gives back) and spends 12 issues cracking heads and laying down football puns. So bad Marvel reprinted the first issue as a Special Edition.
8. Shaq (basketball)
Shaq? But wasn't it Michael Jordan who played basketball with Bugs Bunny? In space? Yes, but did Mike play Steel in a movie? Or a genie casting that ol' Orlando Magic around? Bugs Bunny is for everyone. Steel is for geeks. If you need more evidence, his nicknames have included Shaq Fu, Superman and the Big Galactus. An animated version of himself appeared on Static Shock, and in Ultimate showdown of Ultimate Destiny, he fights Godzilla and survives a collision with the Batmobile.
7. Super Harlem Globe Trotters (basketball)
The Harlem Globe Trotters are pretty awesome even without powers, and they have an enduring legacy that reaches 1000 years in the future (so sayeth Futurama), but WITH powers? There ain't nothin' they can't do. Liquid Man, Sphere Man, Gizmo-Man, Multi-Man and Spaghetti Man blew my 8-year-old mind. Some say they still keep the world safe and fight crime with the power of basketball.
6. The 5th Doctor (cricket)
I don't understand anything about cricket, but any fool can see the Doctor is an amazing bowler (am I using that word right?). Whether it's using a cricket ball to propel himself through space before he freezes to death, or taking 15 minutes out of the only 50-minute-long Black Orchid to play a match (is that what they're called?) with Lord Cranleigh, or just influence his 10th self made human to stop a piano from falling on a baby with one good throw... there's no denying it. Denying what exactly is a mystery to me. But cricket fans know what I'm talking about... even if I don't.
5. Mohammed Ali (boxing)
He made it into this list too. Dude boxed Superman. 'nuff said.
4. Black Lightning (track and field)
Jefferson Pierce is an Olympic gold medalist, and according to his recent Year One mini-series, started fighting crime in Suicide Slum without the help of powers. Unless you count decathlon power! Anyway, a lot of superheroes claim to have "Olympic-level" physical abilities, but only Black Lightning has the bling to prove it.
3. Mr. T (boxing)
Where do I start? B.A. Baracus on the A-Team? Clubber Lang pitying that fool of a Rocky? Mr. T fighting crime and drug abuse with the kids in his beloved cartoon? Bodyguard to such stars as Steve McQueen and Ali himself? The Mandinka warrior haircut? That time he killed and ate SuperDave Osborne? His World of Warcraft Night Elf? Out-kitsching NFL SuperPro in comics of his own? Yes, opens the top 3 for all those reasons.
2. Wildcat (boxing)
Another boxer? Well, excuse me if geeks generally like people hitting each other, but we do. While there are a lot of pugilists in comics, none are as enduring and endearing as Ted Grant - Wildcat. Already a heavyweight world champion boxer in 1942 when he premiered under Bill Finger's pen, Ted is STILL fighting bouts today at, what, at least 87? Plus, he trained Batman. Let me repeat that: He trained the Batman.
But who's our winner? Come on down...
1. Bob Barker (golf)
Just a touch younger than Wildcat and only recently retired after a record television streak, Bob Barker has probably putted more green just on The Price Is Right than 10 Tiger Woods. Whether you like Price is Right or not (and I loathe it), you grew up with Bob just as I did. A cultural icon for generations. Never too old for a sex scandal either. But what puts him over the top? Kicking Adam Sandler's ass in Happy Gilmore.
Thanks for that, Bob. I'd have done it myself, but I'm a big pussy.
Now I know I missed your favorite. Right the injustice in the comments section!
10. Rom (baseball)
Sure, I could open this list with some that's actually ATHLETIC, but sports is more than SKILL. It's HEART. Heart and HOW LUDICROUSLY THE UNDERDOG CAN PULL AN UNLIKELY VICTORY OUT OF ITS ARTHRITIC ASS. And of all the underdog stories in all the galaxy, Rom's bunt against the Vulcans Logicians best represents that ideal. And I love how Sisko turned that one point into a victory. It's all about where you set the bar. And with Rom on your team, it can't get any lower. Everybody wins!9. NFL SuperPro (football)
Speaking of losers... If Ed Wood can be counted among the greatest film makers exactly because he's the worst, then SuperPro surely deserves to be counted among the best comic book heroes. Phil Grayfield used to play pro ball until he was injured, so he became a sports reporter. And while investigating a story about a scientist's 5 million $ super-football suit (if you thought players were already being paid too much...), thieves raid the Hall of Fame and torch the place. They don't take the suit though. And they torch a lot of priceless memorabilia. Who you gonna call to stop stupid criminals? A stupid superhero, of course. Nick puts on the suit (which he never gives back) and spends 12 issues cracking heads and laying down football puns. So bad Marvel reprinted the first issue as a Special Edition.8. Shaq (basketball)
Shaq? But wasn't it Michael Jordan who played basketball with Bugs Bunny? In space? Yes, but did Mike play Steel in a movie? Or a genie casting that ol' Orlando Magic around? Bugs Bunny is for everyone. Steel is for geeks. If you need more evidence, his nicknames have included Shaq Fu, Superman and the Big Galactus. An animated version of himself appeared on Static Shock, and in Ultimate showdown of Ultimate Destiny, he fights Godzilla and survives a collision with the Batmobile.7. Super Harlem Globe Trotters (basketball)
The Harlem Globe Trotters are pretty awesome even without powers, and they have an enduring legacy that reaches 1000 years in the future (so sayeth Futurama), but WITH powers? There ain't nothin' they can't do. Liquid Man, Sphere Man, Gizmo-Man, Multi-Man and Spaghetti Man blew my 8-year-old mind. Some say they still keep the world safe and fight crime with the power of basketball.6. The 5th Doctor (cricket)
I don't understand anything about cricket, but any fool can see the Doctor is an amazing bowler (am I using that word right?). Whether it's using a cricket ball to propel himself through space before he freezes to death, or taking 15 minutes out of the only 50-minute-long Black Orchid to play a match (is that what they're called?) with Lord Cranleigh, or just influence his 10th self made human to stop a piano from falling on a baby with one good throw... there's no denying it. Denying what exactly is a mystery to me. But cricket fans know what I'm talking about... even if I don't.5. Mohammed Ali (boxing)
He made it into this list too. Dude boxed Superman. 'nuff said.4. Black Lightning (track and field)
Jefferson Pierce is an Olympic gold medalist, and according to his recent Year One mini-series, started fighting crime in Suicide Slum without the help of powers. Unless you count decathlon power! Anyway, a lot of superheroes claim to have "Olympic-level" physical abilities, but only Black Lightning has the bling to prove it.3. Mr. T (boxing)
Where do I start? B.A. Baracus on the A-Team? Clubber Lang pitying that fool of a Rocky? Mr. T fighting crime and drug abuse with the kids in his beloved cartoon? Bodyguard to such stars as Steve McQueen and Ali himself? The Mandinka warrior haircut? That time he killed and ate SuperDave Osborne? His World of Warcraft Night Elf? Out-kitsching NFL SuperPro in comics of his own? Yes, opens the top 3 for all those reasons.2. Wildcat (boxing)
Another boxer? Well, excuse me if geeks generally like people hitting each other, but we do. While there are a lot of pugilists in comics, none are as enduring and endearing as Ted Grant - Wildcat. Already a heavyweight world champion boxer in 1942 when he premiered under Bill Finger's pen, Ted is STILL fighting bouts today at, what, at least 87? Plus, he trained Batman. Let me repeat that: He trained the Batman.But who's our winner? Come on down...
1. Bob Barker (golf)
Just a touch younger than Wildcat and only recently retired after a record television streak, Bob Barker has probably putted more green just on The Price Is Right than 10 Tiger Woods. Whether you like Price is Right or not (and I loathe it), you grew up with Bob just as I did. A cultural icon for generations. Never too old for a sex scandal either. But what puts him over the top? Kicking Adam Sandler's ass in Happy Gilmore.
Thanks for that, Bob. I'd have done it myself, but I'm a big pussy.Now I know I missed your favorite. Right the injustice in the comments section!
Comments
But I have to ask, how can you loathe the wonder that was The Price is Right under the rule of King Bob? I can see someone saying that about Drew Carey's run, but not Bob.
Cliffhangers, the Race Game, Hole in One, Golden Road, and the piece de resistance, Plinko! Television genius, my friend.
"He's really showing what a man with a canon in his chest can do!"