Inglourious Week: Geek Wars

In honor of my seeing Inglourious Basterds last week (I make my holidays where I can), the SBG celebrates the Wars to End All Wars this week. So let's get some important background: What wars are most prized by geeks? Now, I don't mean Kirk vs. Picard etc., which are really just skirmishes. No, I mean full blown, sustained, tactical conflicts. Here are my 5 guesses in no particular order.

WWIIThough not quite as fictional as the next entries, Word War II has it all: Real villains (good guys don't put skulls on their helmets), high stakes, varied theaters, loads of war comics, Nazis obsessed with the occult, a Resistance, crazy rocket science, and the dawn of the atomic age. How could your imagination not be captured by THAT.

The Dominion War
Star Trek was never cooler than in the latter half of Deep Space Nine when massive armadas of Starfleet, Klingon and Romulans vessels fought massive armadas of Dominion, Cardassian and Breen ships. Sisko became THE man, and we were all too busy to even wonder where the heck the Enterprise was.

Ok, ok, Star Wars
Having insulted Warsies by mentioning my peacenik Trek before George Lucas' fanfic, I'll now concede the point that yes, Star Wars is just about the biggest geek thing with the word "Wars" in it ever. But in actual fact, it's only just a rebellion, not a war. At no time do the rebels declare the galaxy their own and the Empire trespassers (as with America's Revolutionary War). Oh and that Clone War thing? I prefer to think Episodes 1-3 are not canonical.

Secret Wars
Think what you like, but as a youth, I LOVED Marvel Super Heroes' Secret Wars. I still love the idea and sometimes go to sleep putting different teams of superhumans on the Beyonder's planet. To be fair, I loved it in part because it had the same concept as one of my favorite Challenge of the Super-Friends episodes, but it's stood up where CotSF didn't. Certainly more interesting and personal a story than all the Crises put together.

The Time War
This one is a mystery, but one I would love to have revealed. It's the Time Lords vs. the Daleks for the whole of creation, and nobody survives. Well, except the few that did. I've got my theories, but they need proving. Who wants to hear what millions of Whovian fists punching the air sounds like? Could we find out this Christmas maybe?

Those are my five. Maybe you wanted me to talk about the Transformers instead. Or something. Don't be afraid to chime in.


Tim Knight said...

Do you think we're EVER going to find out what really happened in the Time War? Really?

What happaned to that old rumour about a "flash-back" sequence with Paul's McGann's 8th Doctor looking all grizzled and Dalek-fighterish that we were supposed to be getting this Christmas?

De said...

At this point, I'm not sure I want to see a Time War sequence any longer than a minute or two. The conflict has been built up so much that I feel it can only disappoint once shown.

Siskoid said...

The rumor stayed a rumor. As for seeing what happened, I think it's entirely possible.

Of course, I won't shy from showing parts of it in my RPG campaign.

Jeff R. said...

Five Runner-up Geek Wars:

The War of the Ring

The Napoleonic Wars (edging out, just barely, the Civil War and the War of the Roses for the Historical slot. Versions in SF or Fantasy drag contribute to each, of course.)

Earthwar (the most legendary unreprinted Legion story around)

The Shadow War

And The Clone Wars, from back when they were unrevealed backstory like the Time War is now. Be careful what you wish for...

Siskoid said...

A great reason to push it to a Top 10.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Sweet List...There was NOTHING better than Secret Wars at the time and when you look back it still holds up as a great story. From Spidey getting the black costume to that 'moment' with Captain America and his shield (which I dare you not to tear up over) it blows away all other miniseries since. And OH BOY do I love that last season of DS9. Kirk and Picard are good at what they do but in a REAL battle, I would follow Sisko into hell itself. And that final battle...dare I say it...THRILLING!

Siskoid said...

A real love letter there, Cal.

Other bits I love about Secret Wars: Doctor Doom's doubts upturning his victory, Magneto thrown in with the heroes, everything Galactus.


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