Great Match-Ups of Science Fiction #2

Kirk vs. Picard!Remember the great debate of the early 90s? I recently found papers in which *I* participated in it, clearly on Picard's side at the time, against material sent me (but not written) by my Comments section's very own Doctor Mi!

Excerpts in favor of Kirk
Kirk has more dates than his fitst officer.
Kirk looks good in a ripped shirt. [Obviously before First Contact]
Diplomacy for Kirk is a phaser and a smirk.
Kirk's first officer doesn't play a wimpy instrument like the trombone.
Kirk can infiltrate Gangsters, Nazis, and even the Pentagon -- easily.
When Kirk doesn't trust the Romulans, he fires at them. When Picard doesn't trust the Romulans, he gets fired at.
Three Words: Flying Leg Kick.

Excerpts in favor of Picard (all original material, folks... or at least, "original")
Picard's girlfriends are good-looking even without soft light.
Patrick Stewart is a sex symbol DESPITE his appearance.
103 more episodes
Picard's first officer doesn't play a wimpy instrument like the harp.
Kirk makes a good Nazi.
Picard's body was never taken over by a woman.
Picard has over 1000 people under his command; Kirk a measly 400.

So it's Picard FTW!!!

Wait, what's this? New evidence has come to light?

TWIST!!!
A complete re-evaluation is in the offing!

2 comments:

The Irredeemable Shag said...

Too funny! While I enjoyed STNG more, I always opted for Kirk. He's much more kick ass. Perfect example in "Generations". I watched that movie with my 10 year old step-son just the other night. In the film Picard gets his butt kicked by Malcolm McDowell, and then when time is rewound Kirk is in the same scene but gets the better of McDowell. Just goes to show that Picard is a diplomat, while Kirk is a fighter.

Just my two cents.

The Irredeemable Shag
http://onceuponageek.com
http://firestormfan.com

Austin Gorton said...

I've always preferred Picard, but the new movie had me enjoying Kirk like never before.

 

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