Godzilla versus SHIELD

Yes, I've asked Mothra to help me out with my reviewed of Godzilla comics because, well, she knows him personally. What Mothra ISN'T telling you is that this is all part of Here's to the Losers, a blogular event designed to show what weekly posts designed to replace Spaceknight Saturdays would have looked like had What If? not won the popular vote. Godzilla King of Monsters clocked in at 20%.
Yes, yes. Quite right. And perhaps voters didn't realize that in that comic, Godzilla basically FIGHTS THE MARVEL UNIVERSE! And not just the monsters from those pre-Fantastic Four days either. In the first issue, Godzilla attracts the attention of SHIELD.

After terrorizing Japan for, it says here, two decades (how the country ever got down to making DVD players, I'll never know), Godzilla finally comes to America. And this isn't your funny wrestler in a rubber suit with googly eyes Godzilla. This is the Gojira of the very first movie. He's an atomic bomb on legs. And he's come to Alaska to rip out Sarah Palin's favorite pipeline!

Let me read for you what it says in that last panel's caption: "As far as this mammoth monster is concerned, the vampiric thirst of America will just have to wait." Well played, Doug Moench.
Uhm, yes. The Helicarrier comes to the rescue, commanded by Dum Dum Dugan. He unleashes a cadre of guys named after the alphabet and armed with Kirbytech at the God we call Zilla.
Dum Dum's own fighter gets chomped by the King of Monsters, though DD does show himself to be at least as badass as Nick Fury.
Parachuting out of Godzilla's jaws. That's what I call an extreme sport.
Well, you kind of jumped the gun on that one, but I'll forgive you cuz you're so cute! Point is, after all that, who could blame Dum Dum and his best pal Woo for sticking with the series until the end? SOMEbody's got to follow Godzilla around the country! So yeah, readers, you missed out on Mothra hosting this outrageous comics series every week...
Yes, and guest critic Rodan would have popped in from time to time as well. Can you guys stop interrupting now? Where was I? I forget. Anyway. Have a good day. I've got some giant atomic monsters to shoo out of the apartment.

8 comments:

De said...

Please keep this feature waiting in the wings for the future. This would have been great. Thanks a lot, What If people! ;-)

Austin Gorton said...

Come back, Mothra, come back!

SFF said...

What if WHAT IF didn't win! Damn! Godzilla would have been fun. Love the creative Rodan and Mothra touches. Maybe we would have gotten Monster Zero too.

Siskoid said...

I can only say that, yes, I had offers from other monsters to crash the party.

Sea-of-Green said...

Oh, I HAD those Marvel Godzilla comics once! Ohhh, I MISS those old Godzilla comics.

Yes, by all means! Keep this series in the wings -- especially Mothra's and Rodan's wings. ;-)

ShadowWing Tronix said...

Are you people sorry now for not voting for Godzilla? Are you sorry now!

I actually did try for a last minute appeal on my blog, but I don't have a strong enough readership. I also blame Snell for trying to sabotage things. (Hey, it works for Congress.)

cultural vomitorium said...

this is why democracy doesn't work.

snell said...

We could have rocked both. After all, Doug Moench wrote Master Of Kung Fu, Doug Moench wrote Godzilla...goddamn, there's a crossover that should have happened!!

 

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