Last week, I described my ten favorite Russell T Davies moments and promised to expose the reverse of that coin. I've sometimes claimed that for every really excellent television moment he's given us, RTD also gave us something to make us ashamed to show Doctor Who to a non-fan. That's not exactly true, as I think there's much more good than bad, but since there IS bad... Here are the moments that made me wince, groan or roll my eyes, moments frequently born from self-indulgence or spectacle-before-logic on the writer's part. As usual for these articles, I'll only use stories for which Davies got the writer's credit and list them in chronological order.
Farting monsters (from Aliens of London)
Not only do the Slitheen make kids be afraid of fat people, but they also rob Doctor Who of much of its dignity by also being ambulatory fart machines. The indignity of having the Doctor say the word "fart" alone is reason enough to include them here (despite the fact that I find them well-realized when out of their skinsuits). When I'm trying to hook new viewers, this is inevitably the first hurdle. Many have not gone on to watch the best of Who because they felt Aliens of London was juvenile.
Christmas whine fest (from The Christmas Invasion)
Though The Christmas Invasion is a great introduction to the tenth Doctor, he spends the first half of the story unconscious. That first part is thus filled with Rose whining her ass off. Boo hoo. You're spending the better part of a half hour wishing the Doctor would get out of bed already, not because you love the Doctor, but because you're hating Rose. Sadly, this was a sign of things to come in the second series when it came to Ten's irritatingly selfish companion.
Doctor, why are you a woman? (from New Earth)
The original Star Trek ended with the whimper that is Turnabout Intruder, in which Captain Kirk's body is taken over by an vain, evil woman. That episode comes much earlier for the Doctor as the vain, evil Cassandra possesses the Doctor's body. Beating out a samba with twin hearts and feeling all her "extra bits" may be funny to campy Mr. Davies, but it wasn't to me. What a way to start Ten's first series. No wonder fandom concentrated on the use of the word "chav" instead.
The Absorbaloff's 15 minutes of fame (from Love & Monsters)
Farting cousin to the Slitheen, the Absorbaloff ruins a perfectly charming and off-beat episode by appearing in the last 15 minutes. This monstrosity was created by a young viewer who won a contest to see his creation put on the screen. He'll never live it down. As it turns out, not only is the monster way over the top, but it absorbs a number of likable characters and then FARTS THROUGH THEIR FACES TRAPPED ON ITS ASS!
Love & Paving Stones (from Love & Monsters)
Love & Monsters' last act is so awful, it got into this list twice. I can't let the suggestion that Elton and his paving stone girlfriend have a sex life. Not only is the idea that a woman can survive as a paving stone thanks to a boost of sonic screwdriver completely ludicrous, but RTD had to put disturbing sex images into my head. Look, you can't cater to the kids with your fart jokes, then turn around and refer to asphalt oral sex for... well, who IS the target audience for that bit?
The Gollum Doctor (from Last of the Time Lords)
The Master uses his laser screwdriver to age the Doctor's DNA and make him old, ok fine. Not great, but fine. Voyager-level fine, if you know what I mean. Aging him even further results in turning him into some kind of dwarven imp. HOW?!? Why would you ever go through all that CGI trouble when 1) it's not necessary (I bet a bigger cage for old Doctor costs much less) and 2) doesn't make any damn sense! By the time we get to the inevitable "magic fix", who cares anymore? RTD tells us there are no rules to his universe, so it's no use coming up with a logical or consistent way to fix things.
Voyage of the Damned
I tried to choose just one moment from this Christmas special, but I couldn't. While there are good bits in it, the whole thing was one of the worst moments for me. First of all, it's Christmas, and you're having me watch a depressing disaster movie in which a ton of sympathetic characters die. We've also got indulgent stunt casting, the Queen waving at the Doctor as the Titanic bears down on Buckingham Castle, a terrible one-dimensional and forgettable villain, and more pompous Christ figure imagery than you can shake a spruce at.
The final final fate of Rose Tyler (from Journey's End)
Speaking of depressing. Rose Tyler went out with the emotional bang to end all bangs. RTD couldn't help himself though, he had to bring her back. That in itself is anti-climactic, but where her original ending was grandiose and operatic, her new ending is just terrible. Though the Doctor has found the love of his life again, he leaves her back at Bad Wolf Bay with his normally-aging clone. "Hey Rose, sorry I've moved on, but here's a copy of me who you can't really travel with because he has no TARDIS, haha yeah I know that's where the attraction was." (The TARDIS seed scene was cut so it doesn't count.) Hearing RTD jocularly chuckle at the 'shippers who wanted the Doctor and Rose reunited does nothing for me. He still partly ruined Doomsday's big finish with these shenanigans.
The Master's resurrection (from The End of Time)
Doctor Who has never been hard SF, but it needn't be about magic. Especially where SF characters are concerned. The Master is a Time Lord, so his origins are scientific, as are plots built around him. Not only is his resurrection something right out of Buffy, with spells and potions and demon vortices, but what is the point of giving him super-powers? He jumps around eating people as some kind of Ghost Rider for much of Part I, but by the cliffhanger, has switched his bag entirely. Because you can do a thing does not mean you should do that thing, and I'm perpetually puzzled by how Davies sometimes chooses to spend his CGI dollar.
The Naismith household (from The End of Time)
Not a single moment, but a host of them centered on the Naismith house. For some reason, the house is inhabited by some of the single worst characters ever penned by RTD (which is normally his strong suit). The father-daughter villain team is over-the-top creepy and the alien cacti one-note comic relief. Sinead Keenan - an excellent actress if I go by Being Human - is especially irritating as the resident complainer. As if the writer knows they suck, all those characters are promptly done away with once their plot function has passed. The Naismiths are arrested off-screen and the cacti disappear after the Doctor jumps out of their Pigs in Space ship. The house exists to put the Immortality Gate in it, and the Gate to turn everyone one Earth into the Master. And once that silliness has been painstakingly realized by the CGI team, it's all done away with by the returning Time Lords at the wave of a hand. But I've REALLY gone beyond one moment here...
Runners-up: Burping rubbish bin, Space pig, Lynda's list of reality shows, Smug Rose and Queen Vic, Donna's first scene, Jack is the Face of Boe, Adipose, Cyber-mecha, Gadget Gadget, From Waters to End - the balloon-bursting transition, The Master in a dress, The Doctor falls from the sky, As many epilogues as Lord of the Rings
Those are mine, what are yours?
Farting monsters (from Aliens of London)
Not only do the Slitheen make kids be afraid of fat people, but they also rob Doctor Who of much of its dignity by also being ambulatory fart machines. The indignity of having the Doctor say the word "fart" alone is reason enough to include them here (despite the fact that I find them well-realized when out of their skinsuits). When I'm trying to hook new viewers, this is inevitably the first hurdle. Many have not gone on to watch the best of Who because they felt Aliens of London was juvenile.Christmas whine fest (from The Christmas Invasion)
Though The Christmas Invasion is a great introduction to the tenth Doctor, he spends the first half of the story unconscious. That first part is thus filled with Rose whining her ass off. Boo hoo. You're spending the better part of a half hour wishing the Doctor would get out of bed already, not because you love the Doctor, but because you're hating Rose. Sadly, this was a sign of things to come in the second series when it came to Ten's irritatingly selfish companion.Doctor, why are you a woman? (from New Earth)
The original Star Trek ended with the whimper that is Turnabout Intruder, in which Captain Kirk's body is taken over by an vain, evil woman. That episode comes much earlier for the Doctor as the vain, evil Cassandra possesses the Doctor's body. Beating out a samba with twin hearts and feeling all her "extra bits" may be funny to campy Mr. Davies, but it wasn't to me. What a way to start Ten's first series. No wonder fandom concentrated on the use of the word "chav" instead.The Absorbaloff's 15 minutes of fame (from Love & Monsters)
Farting cousin to the Slitheen, the Absorbaloff ruins a perfectly charming and off-beat episode by appearing in the last 15 minutes. This monstrosity was created by a young viewer who won a contest to see his creation put on the screen. He'll never live it down. As it turns out, not only is the monster way over the top, but it absorbs a number of likable characters and then FARTS THROUGH THEIR FACES TRAPPED ON ITS ASS!Love & Paving Stones (from Love & Monsters)
Love & Monsters' last act is so awful, it got into this list twice. I can't let the suggestion that Elton and his paving stone girlfriend have a sex life. Not only is the idea that a woman can survive as a paving stone thanks to a boost of sonic screwdriver completely ludicrous, but RTD had to put disturbing sex images into my head. Look, you can't cater to the kids with your fart jokes, then turn around and refer to asphalt oral sex for... well, who IS the target audience for that bit?The Gollum Doctor (from Last of the Time Lords)
The Master uses his laser screwdriver to age the Doctor's DNA and make him old, ok fine. Not great, but fine. Voyager-level fine, if you know what I mean. Aging him even further results in turning him into some kind of dwarven imp. HOW?!? Why would you ever go through all that CGI trouble when 1) it's not necessary (I bet a bigger cage for old Doctor costs much less) and 2) doesn't make any damn sense! By the time we get to the inevitable "magic fix", who cares anymore? RTD tells us there are no rules to his universe, so it's no use coming up with a logical or consistent way to fix things.Voyage of the Damned
I tried to choose just one moment from this Christmas special, but I couldn't. While there are good bits in it, the whole thing was one of the worst moments for me. First of all, it's Christmas, and you're having me watch a depressing disaster movie in which a ton of sympathetic characters die. We've also got indulgent stunt casting, the Queen waving at the Doctor as the Titanic bears down on Buckingham Castle, a terrible one-dimensional and forgettable villain, and more pompous Christ figure imagery than you can shake a spruce at.The final final fate of Rose Tyler (from Journey's End)
Speaking of depressing. Rose Tyler went out with the emotional bang to end all bangs. RTD couldn't help himself though, he had to bring her back. That in itself is anti-climactic, but where her original ending was grandiose and operatic, her new ending is just terrible. Though the Doctor has found the love of his life again, he leaves her back at Bad Wolf Bay with his normally-aging clone. "Hey Rose, sorry I've moved on, but here's a copy of me who you can't really travel with because he has no TARDIS, haha yeah I know that's where the attraction was." (The TARDIS seed scene was cut so it doesn't count.) Hearing RTD jocularly chuckle at the 'shippers who wanted the Doctor and Rose reunited does nothing for me. He still partly ruined Doomsday's big finish with these shenanigans.The Master's resurrection (from The End of Time)
Doctor Who has never been hard SF, but it needn't be about magic. Especially where SF characters are concerned. The Master is a Time Lord, so his origins are scientific, as are plots built around him. Not only is his resurrection something right out of Buffy, with spells and potions and demon vortices, but what is the point of giving him super-powers? He jumps around eating people as some kind of Ghost Rider for much of Part I, but by the cliffhanger, has switched his bag entirely. Because you can do a thing does not mean you should do that thing, and I'm perpetually puzzled by how Davies sometimes chooses to spend his CGI dollar.The Naismith household (from The End of Time)
Not a single moment, but a host of them centered on the Naismith house. For some reason, the house is inhabited by some of the single worst characters ever penned by RTD (which is normally his strong suit). The father-daughter villain team is over-the-top creepy and the alien cacti one-note comic relief. Sinead Keenan - an excellent actress if I go by Being Human - is especially irritating as the resident complainer. As if the writer knows they suck, all those characters are promptly done away with once their plot function has passed. The Naismiths are arrested off-screen and the cacti disappear after the Doctor jumps out of their Pigs in Space ship. The house exists to put the Immortality Gate in it, and the Gate to turn everyone one Earth into the Master. And once that silliness has been painstakingly realized by the CGI team, it's all done away with by the returning Time Lords at the wave of a hand. But I've REALLY gone beyond one moment here...Runners-up: Burping rubbish bin, Space pig, Lynda's list of reality shows, Smug Rose and Queen Vic, Donna's first scene, Jack is the Face of Boe, Adipose, Cyber-mecha, Gadget Gadget, From Waters to End - the balloon-bursting transition, The Master in a dress, The Doctor falls from the sky, As many epilogues as Lord of the Rings
Those are mine, what are yours?
Comments
- Doctor-Donna taking control of the Daleks and making them spin around in wacky fashion. LOLOLOLOLOL!
- Harriet Jones's clumsy exposition as to why she's going to help the Doctor. Not just Harriet's explanation but the clumsy question that was clumsily dropped to provide a clumsy reason to clumsily clum clumsy clumsposition
- Jackie Tyler standing in action hero pose after having just blasted a Dalek.
Good to see I don't stand alone in my hatred of Voyage Of The Damned...
I also have to second your thoughts on the Naismiths - normally, RTD introduces (and heavily foreshadows) characters who have a major stake in whatever arc is playing out. However, the Naismiths seem to be "Generic Evil Rich People" who merely serve to service the plot.
(I would also count End of Time Part One as one of Davies' worst - there are one or two scenes involving the Doctor and Wilf, but most of it is incomprehensible and illogical).
And although I initially defended the "Robots of Death" vibe to the angels in VOYAGE OF THE DAMNED....it seems much clunkier on watching it again. (But it could just be me)
While people were keen to accuse RTD of a "gay agenda", they failed to see his strange "anti-fat agenda". The Slitheen are only the first brick in that smelly wall. The Adipose are another, with fat people getting killed by a diet fad.
As for The End of Time, RTD has a history of not actually writing 2-parters, but rather 1¼ parters, with the first ¾ being a silly runaround. Space Pigs and Big Brother and ghosts on soaps and cannibals and the Master in a dress.
Sometimes though, this works. I like Bad Wolf precisely because it makes you think that it's going to be a pastiche on reality TV (which it is), but then it hits you part of the way through that it's actually the Big Season Finale where Stuff Will Happen. The problem is that he does the exact same trick one year later, where an amusing "aliens on soap operas" suddenly becomes "Shock Cybermen return!". Of couse, that may have been deliberate, so that when we get the Shock Dalek Return shortly after it works.
He also seems to be aware of this, because rather that starting the third series finale late, he actually begins it an episode early with "oh my god Derek Jacobi is the Master!"
However, writings in the 3rd volume of Time Unincorporated have actually made me appreciate his work anew, and I now see a method behind what only in retrospect annoyed me. He's due for a reevaluation.
Yes yes yes- so precisely yes. This (or possibly the 'fish and chips isn't enough' moment you listed on the other list... or possibly the way she treats Mickey in Boom Town... but HERE, definitely) is when Rose turns from likable protagonist to self-obsessed jerk. "He left me!" she wails, as if the man is IN A COMA just to spite her. And sadly, this would mark her forever more, right up to Stolen Earth's "What about me! I'm here, nowhere near a webcam or computer- how come the subwave netwrok recruited Martha and not MEEEEEEE???" absurdity. Alas, Rose was made great by RTD's hand... and character-assassinated into an obnoxious twit by the same hand.
Last act of Love and Monsters on the list twice- as it should be. Well done, sir. Likewise VOTD. And while I like the super-aged (gollum) Doctor in concept... execution was, perhaps, lacking. ;-)
Good list! Even the runners-up (though I liked the Adipose). Especially the Smug Rose and Queen Vic; if I were making a simillar list, that one would be near the top. The 'not amused' contest was, to me, the antithesis of funny- and seeing Amy and 11 with sunflowers in Vincent set my teeth on edge merely for REMINDING me of Rose's absurdness in Tooth and Claw.
(Though, one could argue she recieved a steep comeupance for it! After all, it was torchwood that eventually tore her away from the Doctor... founded because of the Queen witnessing her and the Doctor's self-obsessed, callous attitude here. So, Rose engineered her own downfall in a way...)
I'd add any scene (there was about 1 per episode) where Martha is alone with the female guest star and they say something like "Quite a catch you have there..." and she responds "Sometimes, I think he doesn't even known I exist...". Those scenes were what we got instead of proper character development in most Martha stories, sadly.