Source: Action Comics #350 (1967)
Type: Paradox
Warning: This story takes place before the invention of Science.
In the spring of 1967, newspaper man and amateur spelunker Perry White got himself trapped in France's Brisseaux Caverns. Good thing Superman was stalking him then:
Superman's rescue reveals a previously unknown tunnel that leads both men to an unbelievable discovery - a skeleton wearing Superman's costume. This is incredible because, to quote Superman: "There was no Superman in prehistoric days." You know, just in case the reader doesn't know that. Perry would publish it, but fears everyone would call it a hoax, and Superman capitalizes on that doubt to bury the story until he can investigate it. He leaves one of his robots (K-31) in charge while he time travels to the past (because he can't return to the moment he left, or because K-31 is needed as a plot device later?). Around 600,000 B.C., Superman's powers fail and he crashes down to Earth.
Yes, it's a prehistoric Earth with both caveman AND dinosaurs, and certainly no dinosaurs I've ever seen in a picture book before. It also appears that in that "primeval period", Earth's sun is red! That explains why Superman's powers are gone. It just doesn't explain why Earth's sun is red a mere 600 thousand years ago. Or why the European continent is at once cold and able to produce palm trees. Or even why cavemen obviously or the homo sapiens variety are running around 200,000 years before even the first Neanderthal was born. To keep warm, Superman burns money from Clark Kent's wallet, and that money becomes important because the chief of the cave tribe is a dead ringer for president Lincoln!
(They don't speak actual English, though Superman soon learns their language.) Though Guarr first thinks Superman is a god, he soon realizes he's weaker than your average caveman and attacks. Only the intervention of a carnosaur and the kindness of a cute cavegirl named Virra (what, no "L" sounds?) prevents Superman from dying in the past. After she nurses him back to health, Superman destroys the timeline by teaching the cave people to build aqueducts.
So does Superman die of old age in the past? Nope. As soon as he's broken the Prime Directive, K-31 shows up from the future to rescue his too-long-gone master, and his robot powers aren't affected by the red sun. Superman shaves before going back to the present where he'd be stuck with an invulnerable beard, K-31 dresses up as Clark Kent so no one chances on seeing TWO Supermen upon their return and, guess what, the 'bot forgets his Superman costume in the past. Which can only mean ONE thing:
And that's how you get a shot of Abraham Lincoln in a Superman costume. I can't think of an easier way. Can you?
Type: Paradox
Warning: This story takes place before the invention of Science.In the spring of 1967, newspaper man and amateur spelunker Perry White got himself trapped in France's Brisseaux Caverns. Good thing Superman was stalking him then:
Superman's rescue reveals a previously unknown tunnel that leads both men to an unbelievable discovery - a skeleton wearing Superman's costume. This is incredible because, to quote Superman: "There was no Superman in prehistoric days." You know, just in case the reader doesn't know that. Perry would publish it, but fears everyone would call it a hoax, and Superman capitalizes on that doubt to bury the story until he can investigate it. He leaves one of his robots (K-31) in charge while he time travels to the past (because he can't return to the moment he left, or because K-31 is needed as a plot device later?). Around 600,000 B.C., Superman's powers fail and he crashes down to Earth.
Yes, it's a prehistoric Earth with both caveman AND dinosaurs, and certainly no dinosaurs I've ever seen in a picture book before. It also appears that in that "primeval period", Earth's sun is red! That explains why Superman's powers are gone. It just doesn't explain why Earth's sun is red a mere 600 thousand years ago. Or why the European continent is at once cold and able to produce palm trees. Or even why cavemen obviously or the homo sapiens variety are running around 200,000 years before even the first Neanderthal was born. To keep warm, Superman burns money from Clark Kent's wallet, and that money becomes important because the chief of the cave tribe is a dead ringer for president Lincoln!
(They don't speak actual English, though Superman soon learns their language.) Though Guarr first thinks Superman is a god, he soon realizes he's weaker than your average caveman and attacks. Only the intervention of a carnosaur and the kindness of a cute cavegirl named Virra (what, no "L" sounds?) prevents Superman from dying in the past. After she nurses him back to health, Superman destroys the timeline by teaching the cave people to build aqueducts.
So does Superman die of old age in the past? Nope. As soon as he's broken the Prime Directive, K-31 shows up from the future to rescue his too-long-gone master, and his robot powers aren't affected by the red sun. Superman shaves before going back to the present where he'd be stuck with an invulnerable beard, K-31 dresses up as Clark Kent so no one chances on seeing TWO Supermen upon their return and, guess what, the 'bot forgets his Superman costume in the past. Which can only mean ONE thing:
And that's how you get a shot of Abraham Lincoln in a Superman costume. I can't think of an easier way. Can you?
Comments
For example, why did Superboy ever have to tell his parents, "Sorry, I've got to leave now for this month's Legion of Super-Heroes meeting," as he often did? It's time travel, Superboy! Why does it matter when you leave to go to a meeting 1000 years in the future?
I think Marvel finally took a logical approach to this sort of thing in an Avengers story, where Kang kept returning to fight the Avengers immediately after the Avengers had defeated him (from their POV) in order to wear them down.
Caveman Abe Lincoln from this story vs. Robot Abe Lincoln from Flash #210 vs. Space Abe Lincoln from Star Trek
Show your work.