Batman and the Outsiders #7 - Pages 15-18

We interrupt this regularly scheduled Cat of the Geek to bring you another exciting chapter in the most unfairly critical dissections of a comic on the World Wide Web (yes, now you can read them WHEREVER you are!). The outsiders are just getting to the Cryonic Man's not-at-all suspicious abandoned Gothic house surrounded by an electric fence.We head to the basement, where Philip (who still doesn't know Batman gave him a nom-de-guerre) is having his robots prep Katana for an organectomy. But... what's he doing in the back room?
Looks like he's getting undressed. Weird and creepy, but why... OH!
That's just gross. And not just because Katana's organs are gonna be plopped onto a little shelf. Breathe easy, readers. Cryonic Man just took off the wetsuit to hose it down a little before putting it on again (guy really needs a wash and shave, smells like freezer burn in here).
Even so, doesn't NOT make him a peeping tom. And that alarm is positively pervy too:
Now let's see if Phil has as yet managed to identify the team of heroes who keep trying to stop him...
Nope. Still the no-names. It's back to preop for Katana as "guard-robs" are dispatched. How quaint.
Oh Geo-Force, will you never learn? Batman is the leader here. You don't make suggestions. You don't even make statements of fact. And he's about to get a right smackdown ("Listen, jerkweed..." when GF decides to come clean about his little problem:
Dude, there's a TIME and a PLACE. No but seriously, GF is really defensive, isn't he? Comes with getting bat-nitpicked, I suppose. I don't feel sorry for him at all, but I'll tell you who I do feel sorry for: Those dinky guard-robs. Not only do they not deserve a number or even a different paint job, but they might topple over at anytime because of those dutch angles. Geo-Force puts one out of its misery.
Can you hear the tooth-grinding dialog in this scene? GF has to work on his banter. First he comes off as a vain show-off, then as a passive-aggressive jerk. "Look at me, I'm super-strong and ripping a robot's head off. How's it going over there, all-too-human Batman?" Hey, Batman's a pro.
He somehow maneuvered the "robs" to whooosh at each other. And though he claims he doesn't have "flair"...
...we know that's a big fat condescending lie. Or in GF's parlance, an "error". But only if Mike Barr actually believes the words he puts in Batman's mouth. Meanwhile, Philip watches color tv.
I only mention it because everything else in the base comes from the 1940s. But Cryo-Phil's question is a good one.
Metamorpho is a one-man vehicle and sometimes a boring one as well. My theory on why the team is impatient to get there - based on the lazy coloring job - is that they've been going around in circles. Not only doesn't it look like they're about to connect with another tunnel, but in the next under-earth panel, we've either "crossed the line" or the Molamorpho has turned around.
Another close call for our heroes as Halo and Black Lightning tumble to the back of the Metamolepho... WITH A RAZOR-SHARP KATANA. Oh Rex, good thing you're the joker of the group, or we might not be able to forgive you:
Now THAT'S funny. It's like he knows Katana is in her undies next to a tray of scalpels. As Halo and Lightning crawl out of his butt, we see that Halo's flashcards have come in handy.
She can now identify a teammate out of costume and tell her general condition. Tatsu isn't hurt, of course, merely sedated, but at least she's trying. Which is more than I can say for Aparo here as the room tips and stretches to accommodate the action.
I mean, are the heroes at the "bottom" of the room, watching the robots glide down towards them? And what about Rex? Why hasn't he morphed back into something useful? We can see his drill bit sticking out of the ground, but that's it. Saw Katana naked and prone on a gurney and lay there stunned? Halo's yellow aura is basically a bright light, which here seems to blind Black Lightning more than the robs. She might also have selected heat beams or concussive beams, but that wouldn't have given Lightning a chance to, uhm, shine. "Can you DO something?" Geez, the guy's not doubting himself enough?
There, he CAN do something. Not that he needed to. He's just fortunate that Halo doesn't really understand her own abilities yet. And again, if you want to read the dialog as if through clenched teeth, you can. "I'm doing something, can you pull your weight already, Mr. Fifth Wheel?" "Hey, shut the hell up, GIRL!" Ok, Rex, your turn.
You don't want to play smell my finger with Metamorpho, I can tell you that right now. Ammonia is one thing (and can be used as a respiratory stimulant), but when he gets the sulphur out, ooh boy.

Tomorrow: The gang's all there, and that can only mean two things - Cryonic Man's going down and more examples of failed team work.

4 comments:

Prof. Booty said...

"Cryo-Phil" is a much better name. Glad to see this feature again! How many issues of this thing do you have?

Siskoid said...

I got some special (cheap!) as "research", so you needn't worry!

I'm flying through this one (it's just too good) just so I can do another this week, one with many more "character moments".

Austin Gorton said...

the Cryonic Man's not-at-all suspicious abandoned Gothic house surrounded by an electric fence.

To be fair, this is Gotham; presumably suspicious houses with oddly forceful security measures are fairly commonplace.

t's back to preop for Katana as "guard-robs" are dispatched

"Guard-robs?" Really Mike Barr? Has anyone ever used "rob" as a slang for robots before? Did you really think that was a good idea?

Siskoid said...

And maybe he was just trying to make it "retro".

Wait, what are we defending Mike Barr for?

 

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