Batman and the Outsiders #8 - Pages 10-13

Two Outsiders who couldn't be any different are in fact, quite alike, or so Mike Barr will not try to prove. These two Outsiders? Metamorpho the Element Man, rough and tumble hero with a mug only a mother could love, and Geo-Force, a silver spoonful of European princeliness. Previous scenes implied these two would be room mates. Not true! Rex is staying at a crummy hotel, and Brion at his riverfront chalet. But they're both calling home, see? They are the same inside!Rex gets hung up on by his nasty father-in-law, while Brion just can't get through to his home country because, well, it's still stuck in the 19th century and probably in total collapse since Geo-Force left it in the wake of a civil war.
File the numbers off though, and they're in the exact same pain!
Batman gave Katana and Halo his Foundation penthouse AND a bookstore. Yet, Black Lightning's apartment has cracks in the walls and Metamorpho is staying in a roach hotel. What the hell, Bats?! I guess when Bruce sees no chance for a booty call, he doesn't spring for the satin sheets. In any case, Batman doesn't give out real estate on Christmas, he's too busy chasing down Freeman's leads, this time, to a daycare called "Happy Time". Mrs. Hopkins explains why:
Two hints are offered before we go any further. Have you noticed them? Have you guessed what's going on? Some help: 1) Guy hauling out adult-sized bodies in the background. 2) Creepy teddy bear from Hell. No? Ok...
That's right, all the toddlers are turned into old people. Please tell us those aren't body bags being dragged by orderlies.
Well, thank Barr for small miracles. They just strap those kids to gurneys and take them on a ride in an ambulance. Wheeeee! Freeman will speak to the families, which is pretty decent of him for a guy Batman lately accused of unloading all his work on him. And suddenly--LSD FLASHBACK!
"Our location is unimportant." Who knew the Phantom Stranger liked to hold meetings inside fireworks displays. Too noisy for my tastes, but whatever helps you get through the day, PS. Just before the bat insignia spins at the screen and back, Batman sees a pattern in the chaos and deduces the Children's Hospital will be the next target. It's a classic I.Q. test sequence, isn't it? Suburban home, day care... children's hospital. "The only possible answer, Robin!"
I think we just caught Batman in a lie. And a smug thought. I hope Freeman took the opportunity to put a "Kick me" sign on his cape. That would be HIGH-larious.

Next time: The Outsiders do something nice for the kids, and the villain is revealed. Incredibly, it'll be someone with a Who's Who entry! (Rare!)

3 comments:

Prof. Booty said...

I could read your Outsiders posts every day and I'd never get sick of it, that's some good stuff.
And damn, Rex's place is a dump. Geo-Force's house is just plain bizarre. It looks like a cross between a knight's helmet and a Transformer's head to me.

Siskoid said...

Thanks for that! I of course couldn't do a post like this every day, I'd go stark raving mad!

Austin Gorton said...

Batman gave Katana and Halo his Foundation penthouse AND a bookstore. Yet, Black Lightning's apartment has cracks in the walls and Metamorpho is staying in a roach hotel.

That is pretty awful. At least Geo-Force has his palatial estate.

Suburban home, day care... children's hospital. "The only possible answer, Robin!"

They don't call him the World's Greatest Detective" for nothing...

 

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