Batman and the Outsiders #8 - Pages 13-16

Christmas morning! And Gotham or no, the kids wake up and open their presents, and bask in the love of their parents. The Outsiders, of course, "struggle against the heavy chains of depression!"Geez Mike Barr! Pouring the angst on a little bit thick? I read comics to escape my own life's tragic quirks, not to relive them! Batman to the rescue. He knows just what will make them feel better: Charity work!
Batman's Christmas gift is the gift of giving. Not that the Outsiders are empty-handed. Katana has that nice Japanese bookstore, and uhm... well, you can't give out businesses like they're candy, you know. Hey, where's Geo-Force?
So the people who have NOTHING are made to hand gifts out to sick kids, while the rich prince is sent on patrol. Maybe Batman knows he won't appreciate the self-sacrifice inherent in generosity, or maybe he doesn't want GF around kids. What could it be? A strange odor? Off-panel Tourette's? At this point, I'd take anything that made Brion more interesting. Unfortunately, the real reason for this assignment is that Barr needs to manipulate events. So here is your coincidence of the week:
Yes, the same couple who found Batman in their neighbor's house after that neighbor's baby was apparently kidnapped is having their baby right now, are trapped in traffic and will need Batman's colleague Geo-Force fly them to the hospital.
Ooh and ahh at how smart and family-conscious Geo-Force is! Marvel at the "squint and you'll see it" tribute to Action Comics #1! Go out and buy Gotham's most popular make of car! Ask not how many lanes there are in a typical Gotham street! Sympathize with Carol's baby born on Christmas who will never have a birthday party in his or her life!
Carol delivers 8 pounds of pure evil. If the bat-like posture didn't give it away, then maybe the glowing red eyes and telepathic threats do. Prepare to be freaked out.
I bet Carol wish she'd had something stronger than an epidural right about now.
But if she had, she'd have missed her baby boy grow up. It goes by so fast.
One day they're pooping in diapers and slapping doctors around and the next, they're sporting goatees, wearing white after Labor Day, and fighting the Phantom Stranger.
That's the Stranger's archenemy Tannarak, and yes, he's got both a Who's Who entry AND appearances outside Outsiders comics. Do you know how rare that is? But as with Dr. Light, he only came as part of a crossover with someone more popular. Strange how Gotham has a huge pool of super-criminals, but the Outsiders NEVER come across one of their crimes. So Tannarak is a magician and alchemist who has cheated death again and again, apparently since the days of Ancient Egypt. He has no love for his new mom:
Call the Phantom Stranger "old chum" is considered fightin' words where I come from. Luckily for him, Tannarak is more than able to fight the stranger. PIEW PIEW PIEW!!!
Man, those guys' capes could have their own battle and I'd watch. Interpretative dance aside, when are the Outsiders going to get into the action? Well, that's a matter for...

Next time: The Outsiders give and give and give, Tannarak casts an exposition spell, and the babies finally attack!

6 comments:

SallyP said...

Well, that's certainly something that the Obstetrician is going to remember!

Oh Brion. Probably my most loathed super-hero.

Siskoid said...

I'd pay someone good money not to resurrect him post-Flushpoint.

Prof. Booty said...

Hey Siskoid, have you seen this? http://dcfifty-too.blogspot.com/2011/08/cryonic-man-1-by-tjkirsch.html#comments It's Cryo-Phil! It looks like 2011 has been the best year ever for him, popularity-wise.

Siskoid said...

Wow, amazing! I'm gonna like that new blog project.

Austin Gorton said...

It's sad when "infant grows into evil centuries-old Egyptian magician in the matter of moments" is the bright side, but I'm really glad we didn't get a "Geo-Force delivers a stranded woman's baby and learns the true meaning of Christmas" story...

Strange how Gotham has a huge pool of super-criminals, but the Outsiders NEVER come across one of their crimes.

Those criminals apparently operate on the days the Outsiders are working at the bookstore...

Siskoid said...

I should check how man B&TO stories take place during the day.

Maybe Batman's rogues only come out at night.

 

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