Source: Superman vol.1 #133 (1959)
Type: The real deal (since retconned)
It's Remembrance Day, and while we're honoring our veterans, let's not forget Superman himself was in the army, or so the Silver Age would have us believe...
It's all the fault of one Captain Grimes of the U.S. Army who's visibly outraged that Superman, an able-bodied single man, has not served his country by joining the military. He arrives at the Daily Planet with draft papers, and though initially Lois and Perry fight against it, even going so far as to call a 4-star general...
...Perry quickly changes his mind. 1) It could make a nice article series that would encourage enlistment and 2) HAW! HAW! Assigned to Grimes' unit, the spiteful Captain forces Superman to go through all the motions, no matter how silly for the Man of Steel. The physical exam is one particular waste of time:
And then there's the question of uniforms. Standard fatigues, or Red, Yellow and Blue?
Well, that answers that. After Superman burns another one up flying too fast, he's given permission to wear his Superman uniform at all times. As if Superman's passive-aggressive insubordination wasn't enough, our hero Grimes suffers has another impediment, the Inspector General, nominally there to see how Superman is integrated into the army, but actually there because HAW! HAW! Superman excels at everything, of course, and when he digs the "most super terrific" trench of all...
...the Inspector General promotes him to Corporal over Grimes' objections. Superman even helps the rest of the army do well. When exhausted men are given the chance to get a weekend pass if they can hit a bullseye, their new Corporal blows the bullets to their destinations with his super-breath, and Grimes has to do the dishes because everybody's off the base. Tactics training is no cheerier for Grimes:
Does he get slapped down for being a smartass? No, the Inspector General makes him 2nd Lieutenant on the spot! Though he moves up in the ranks quickly, the men don't resent him. He does their unfair punishments doled out by Grimes, and vacuum-breathes water from a lake to cool them down during hikes. And in the end, there's no one better at camouflage training.
The Inspector General finally promotes him to General, after which Superman keeps passing by Captain Grimes at super-speeds, forcing his now junior officer to salute consistently until his arm is in a sling. Grimes soon asks for Superman to be dishonorably discharged, and he happily returns to civilian life, but not before promoting Grimes to Major. After all, without the guy's insistence that Superman be drafted, Clark Kent's articles wouldn't have brought in so many new soldiers.
Let's take a moment of silence today and remember the ones who didn't have it so easy, shall we?
Type: The real deal (since retconned)
It's Remembrance Day, and while we're honoring our veterans, let's not forget Superman himself was in the army, or so the Silver Age would have us believe...It's all the fault of one Captain Grimes of the U.S. Army who's visibly outraged that Superman, an able-bodied single man, has not served his country by joining the military. He arrives at the Daily Planet with draft papers, and though initially Lois and Perry fight against it, even going so far as to call a 4-star general...
...Perry quickly changes his mind. 1) It could make a nice article series that would encourage enlistment and 2) HAW! HAW! Assigned to Grimes' unit, the spiteful Captain forces Superman to go through all the motions, no matter how silly for the Man of Steel. The physical exam is one particular waste of time:
And then there's the question of uniforms. Standard fatigues, or Red, Yellow and Blue?
Well, that answers that. After Superman burns another one up flying too fast, he's given permission to wear his Superman uniform at all times. As if Superman's passive-aggressive insubordination wasn't enough, our hero Grimes suffers has another impediment, the Inspector General, nominally there to see how Superman is integrated into the army, but actually there because HAW! HAW! Superman excels at everything, of course, and when he digs the "most super terrific" trench of all...
...the Inspector General promotes him to Corporal over Grimes' objections. Superman even helps the rest of the army do well. When exhausted men are given the chance to get a weekend pass if they can hit a bullseye, their new Corporal blows the bullets to their destinations with his super-breath, and Grimes has to do the dishes because everybody's off the base. Tactics training is no cheerier for Grimes:
Does he get slapped down for being a smartass? No, the Inspector General makes him 2nd Lieutenant on the spot! Though he moves up in the ranks quickly, the men don't resent him. He does their unfair punishments doled out by Grimes, and vacuum-breathes water from a lake to cool them down during hikes. And in the end, there's no one better at camouflage training.
The Inspector General finally promotes him to General, after which Superman keeps passing by Captain Grimes at super-speeds, forcing his now junior officer to salute consistently until his arm is in a sling. Grimes soon asks for Superman to be dishonorably discharged, and he happily returns to civilian life, but not before promoting Grimes to Major. After all, without the guy's insistence that Superman be drafted, Clark Kent's articles wouldn't have brought in so many new soldiers.Let's take a moment of silence today and remember the ones who didn't have it so easy, shall we?
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