Reign of the Supermen #474: Supermech

Source: JLA Classified: Cold Steel #1-2 (2005-2006)
Type: The real deal (since retconned)

There are days when I wish these Reign articles were about a character other than Superman. Battles for the Cowl. Amazon Shopping. Flashes in the Pan. Because sometimes, I have to talk about a story where everyone else's alternate look/self is way cooler than Superman's. Writer/artist Christopher Moeller's Cold Steel makes it one of those days. Of all the JLA mechs, Superman's is not only one of the dullest, it's one of the least appropriate. Dude, KNIVES?

So what is this story about? Oh, the JLA gets in the middle of a war between two races of aliens (must be Tuesday), and the only way to beat the bad side's giant organic ships is to modify some mechs and pilot them into battle. Batman outfits the existing shells with weapons, and gives each giant robot a semblance of the user's abilities. Sounds silly, but he explains that he wants everyone to go with their instincts during the fight. Makes sense! But do they really have time to paint their mechs with their costume colors? Green Lantern Kyle Rayner insists (of course he would) and the Fastest Man Alive does the job (no time lost and they can still look cool).

So why am I disappointed in Superman's war machine? Beside the out-of-character blades, he's better armored and can shoot heat vision. That's it. Wonder Woman can fire her magic lasso from the robot's wrist. Batman's shoots batarangs and turns into vehicles. Aquaman's is submersible (of course). The Flash's can turn into a freakin' War Wheel. A WAR WHEEL! So yeah, Superman's is dull by comparison because it doesn't seem to have powers a giant robot wouldn't normally have. Maybe that's appropriate. He IS the baseline superhero after all, maybe he should get the baseline battlemech.

But at one point he gets schooled on strategy by Kyle. BY KYLE! That's when I knew Moeller didn't really care for our boy Kal-El. He's just there to get upstaged by the others. Sigh.