Dying, Poisoned, Hallucinating Batman - Still Better Than All Other Outsiders Put Together

Batman and the Outsiders 13 - Pages 17-20
In case you're just joining us and the scroll wheel on your mouse is busted, the Outsiders have just been trounced by a bunch of goons led by a guy called Mayme whose power seems to be ability not to feel shame about his dated look. Meanwhile, Batman is running around Gotham seeing things like snakes, buildings with faces and the murder of his parents (well, the first two are unusual, at any rate).  Obviously, the hero that's meant to be dying from some poison will have to rescue the others. Good thing he decided to return to the scene of the re-crime then.
Having encased Metamorpho in plastic and gassed the rest, Mayme is here talking about finishing the job. It begs the question as to why the gas was non-lethal. For that matter, why didn't his shock troops shoot the Outsiders with their automatic weapons as soon as they started going down? Unluckily for Mayme, he kinda looks like Joe Chill right now.
Well... to a guy tripping on the light fantastic I guess. LUCKILY for him, he misses his own head when the gun goes off. From there, badassery from Batman:
Presumably, it's accidental, unless there was an Element Man present in a big blister pack at his parents' shooting. And remember when Black Lightning was all, like, fan out and leave Rex there?
It was exactly the wrong thing to do. (I wonder if they realize they're breathing in Metamorpho himself. Man, that guy is icky when you think about it.) While they're taking a breather, literally, Mayme is just about done with Batman.
Because pistols are made for punching. Outsiders to the rescue? Nah.
It's been three panels of consecutive hitting and choking, all of which have Batman - POISONED, DYING Batman - on the receiving end. Really? You're going to ignore Katana's advice AGAIN? If Batman pulls through, he should really consider making her deputy leader instead of BL.
Here, the Outsiders finally bounce back and use their super-powers to beat Mayme's non-powered crew, like they should have done in the first place. Well, I don't know what Geo-Force is doing. Doesn't seem to be hitting anyone. Sadly, neither do the two guys shooting at him. Hey, it just struck me that all these shock troops have the exact same haircut and skin color. Is there a cut-and-paste function villains apply to minions, or what? Let's check in with Batman to see if he's still "holding his own".
Yep. (By Black Lightning's definition anyway.) Maybe if the Outsiders get through the shock troops quickly, they can help him out.
Well, "quickly" isn't on the agenda so much as "fun" is. Is Metamorpho also having fun?
I guess so, if jokey references to the Spanish-American War are your idea of fun. I had to look that up, obviously. Before the Internet (say 1984, just to pick a date out of the comic's indicia), "Fire when ready, Gridley" would have been a deep, dark mystery to my 13-year-old self, who was, coincidentally, the target audience for this stuff. Of course, "return to sender" has nothing to do with it, so it's a mixed metaphor at best. He might at least have turned into a giant envelope. Must I really turn to Geo-Force for succor?
No, only suckage. I just can't tell from that staging if he really did drop those guys to their deaths, or if the need for parachutes is hyperbole--AND WHAT THE HELL KIND OF SHOES ARE THESE GUYS WEARING?

To be concluded on Thursday!

7 comments:

Jeff Moore said...

LOL ... I am really enjoying this analysis of B&TOS ... I remember really liking the title. But, then I started reading with Outsiders #1 after Batman left the team, and actually quit after he rejoined.

d said...

I think Bugs Bunny also said "Fire when ready, Gridley". At least that's where I know it from.

Siskoid said...

Jeff: So with the introduction of Looker? Yeah, I'm not sure that would make me like the team more.

D: You school me well. The only Bugs Bunny expression I use is "How now, brown cow."

Jeff R. said...

Strike the word 'Other': Batman isn't an Outsider any more than Tom Petty was a Heartbreaker or Huey Lewis was a New. They're at best his backup band.

Siskoid said...

Just wait til you see how this horror ends.

Wriphe said...

Wait, wait, wait. Why would they need parachutes after Geo-Force exposed them to his "null-gravity" power?

As I understand it, Geo-Force can essentially increase/decrease the gravity of an object, but he cannot create true anti-gravity (acceleration away from the earth). For example, look no further than his own locomotion method: he flies by using null-gravity on himself (making him weightless) then propelling himself with force blasts (like Jerry O'Connell in MY SECRET IDENTITY).

If he has used his null-gravity effect on his opponents, he isn't making them fly up in the air so much as he is making them hover about where they were standing. Once he removes his null-gravity, they'll fall: about 3 feet. Parachutes won't do anything to help that.

And presuming that he has made them weightless and then shot them with a force blast to make them fly up in the air, why would he bother to do that? Just last issue, his force blasts were powerful enough to destroy metal. Why not just shoot the thugs with your force blasts, Mr. Needlessly Complicated?

Heck, Geo-Force could have used his gravity manipulating power to make them incredibly "heavy," conceivably snapping their own femurs where they stood, but he doesn't have to make them float first if he's going to bring them down to earth.

Geo-Force: not understanding how his own powers work since 1983.

(For the record, I've always liked Geo-Force. Tough love, man. Tough love.)

Siskoid said...

What's the point of creating a character if you're not going to remember what he can do from issue to issue?

 

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