The Muppet Doctors

It started on Monday when I posted Kermit and Piggy's wedding chapel and said it looked like a TARDIS. Daydreams of the Doctor's various incarnations played by Muppets, turning into nightmares every night because that's how my mind processes puzzles. And it would not stop until I'd cast each Doctor with a proper foam'n'felt look-alike. So here's my attempt. I'm going to sleep tonight.

1st Doctor - Statler
Defeated the Daleks by heckling them. They're rubbish... bins! Ho ho ho ho ho!

2nd Doctor -  Dan Rather-Not
Who knew a newscaster would have the chops for playing such a character? We always knew it would be a Grouch in the role, for that authentic trampy feel (and smell).

3rd Doctor - Big Bird
He had a lot of competition at the auditions, what with Miss Piggy's martial arts and Nigel's costume (below), but ultimately, he was the one with the bouffant and the mighty nose.

4th Doctor -  Dr. Teeth
It's all about the smile. Plus, already a Doctor.

5th Doctor - Sir Rodney
It's like this cricketer walked off the live-action show and into Muppetworld to play this part.

6th Doctor - Wembley Fraggle
I'm happy to report that audiences took to the Hawaiian shirts more than Colin Baker's outfit.

7th Doctor - Gonzo
Gonzo also soon to star in the Muppet production of the Hobbit as Radagast the Purplish Blue.

8th Doctor - Sopwith the Camel
The first Doctor to kiss a companion needed very specific experience.

9th Doctor - Crazy Harry
You hear rumors of actors being eccentric, even a little nuts, but you don't believe them until they start doing all the explosion effects on the show without you asking them to. Run!

10th Doctor - Pepe
An overnight sensation, when you ask the girls why they love the 10th Doctor so much, they say "he's got great hair". He does, ladies, he does.

11th Doctor - Link Hogthrob
Not many people know he'd played a small role in the 9th Doctor episode "Aliens of London", credited as "Space Pig".

BONUS DOCTOR: Dr. Who from the Dalek movies - Dr. Julius Strangepork
This veteran actor was a delight in the role, though his stories were non-canonical.

So there you have it. Where have I done good and where have I gone wrong? Do you have your own Muppet fantasies? Let us know in the comments!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

And now all I can hear is Pepe saying "I'm sorry. So sorry, hokay?"

jdh417 said...

Okay, Number 8 is just cruel. Otherwise, very cool.

Siskoid said...

amrothery: Hahaha. Hilarious.

jdh: Well, he's got the romantic locks.

Anonymous said...

That's a fake Crazy Harry, fyi.

 

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