Batman and the Outsiders 13 - Pages 5-8
So okay, Batman has been poisoned and the Outsiders must "keep him moving" so he sweats it all out. Their plan is as crazy as whatever was put in Mike Barr's drinking water that day. I don't want to spoil the surprise, but I promise, it'll all be made clear. Just accept for the moment that the poison is making Batman hallucinate his origin story. It's Batman; it must happen all the time like, when he eats an apple before bed or something.
I don't think we need to go through this panel by panel. It's arguably comics' best known origin story, though obviously, Bruce is portrayed as quite a bit younger, but no more effective. Based on this version of events, Crime Alley is off Park Row, in a "condemned area", which is how Gotham City justifies not offering services - OR LEVEL STREET INTERSECTIONS - to its ghettos.
So things start going off the rails here when Joe Chill starts laughing maniacally. Well, the whole "MY PARENTS ARE DEEEAAAAAAAAAAD!!!" meme IS amusing. Where's Robin when you need to give someone a hard slap?
And then Joe Chill catches fire and flies off, and...
Martha Wayne wakes up (well, Chill did say he would kill her again and again, so she has to get up sometime). Wait, "Brion"?
That's right, folks, give the Crime Alley Amateur Players a hand. To get Batman moving, they wake him up (somehow) and make him relive his most traumatic memory. Let's examine this plan. With no time to spare because Batman's life is slipping away, they haul him all the way into town, and somehow find convincing Thomas & Martha Wayne masks and/or wigs (I'm sure the clothes are from their actual closets). Geo-Force plays the dad despite his Eastern European accent, and Halo plays the mom despite her lack of knowledge about EVERYTHING and not even wearing a mask (because in comics, all women have the same face apparently). And they stage the murder perfectly from Alfred's quick explanation of the facts. Clearly, NONE of this was a hallucination, because they're all wearing costumes and are in the actual location, so it's hard to blame the poison. Ok, Batman's judgement is definitely impaired, or else he wouldn't take any of this at face value, especially the part where Joe Chill turns into fire (is that supposed to be ironic?!). I'll give them that. Given the preposterous premise, I suppose Batman's reaction works. Buy the premise, buy the bit, as they say*.
*I don't buy the premise for a single second.
Oh and in true Outsiders fashion, they have the bad luck of having broken Batman's belt transmitter in the "struggle" (essentially, a single pistol whip from Metamorpho). But we can trust the Outsiders to tail an unpowered, delirious, vulnerable man, right?
Right! Batman is thankfully heading in the direction they all thought he was and Katana is primed to pick up the eyeball. And if there's someone we can trust with this, it's focused, level-headed Katana.
You see that last thought bubble? THAT'S KATANA GETTING DISTRACTED. Yep, she's about to lose the Batman. Tune in Thursday to see how they royally screw this one up.
So okay, Batman has been poisoned and the Outsiders must "keep him moving" so he sweats it all out. Their plan is as crazy as whatever was put in Mike Barr's drinking water that day. I don't want to spoil the surprise, but I promise, it'll all be made clear. Just accept for the moment that the poison is making Batman hallucinate his origin story. It's Batman; it must happen all the time like, when he eats an apple before bed or something.
*I don't buy the premise for a single second.
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