Son of Secret Wars Catch-Up LiveBlog!

I tried my best last week to catch up with the back log of Secret Wars tie-ins, and managed some two-thirds over the course of a weekend. Can I now use Canadian Thanksgiving to polish off the rest? I'm going to try. And this time, I really am going to do it LIVE. I'll dump the first 10 or so now, and will update every half-hour until I'm done. *Takes a deep breath...*

X-Men '92 #6-8: Destroying Jim Lee's X-Men #1 cover? Onslaught? Terrible new costumes? Bowers, Sims and Koblish have hit the nail on the head and figured out that the only way to do the 90s X-Men is to go all-out anything-goes PARODY with it. So when there's a giant gun, it's GIGANTIC.

And X-Men '92 WILL return! As much as anyone, I'm surprised as hell to hear myself say I'm up for it.

Thors #3: There's a very good conversation between a Thor and a Loki in this. "I bet you're good at making Hulks cry."

Ms. Marvel #18: It's a great one for mother-daughter moments, and I'm considering Captain Marvel as Kamala's "mother" in this case.

Korvac Saga #4: So who didn't get the memo about the Thors all being different people? Is Maddrox a Thor or something?

Giant-Sized Little Marvel - AvX #4: The Guardians and the Inhumans get in on the action, maybe because the writers ran out of AvX jokes, I dunno. They did miss a trick by not implying the Inhumans were trying to replace all the mutants in the MU though.

Mrs. Deadpool and the Howling Commandos #4: See? This is what a platoon of Thors looks like. (What's a group of Thors called? A storm of Thors? Tongue-twister.)

Red Skull #3: Secret Wars Drinking Game - if a supervillain wants to kill and replace Dr. Doom, drink. For every scene with a Marvel Zombie in it, drink. If a name character is violently killed, drink. If you're kind of happy that a series ended earlier than the 5th issue, finish your drink.

Secret Wars 2099 #5: Haha. There are a couple of classic Marvel monsters in this, and I don't want to spoil which ones because it amused me too much to steal that away from you.

Howard the Human #1: What I learned from this one-shot is that a Duck in a human world is a lot funnier than a Human in an animal world.

Inhumans - Attilan Rising #4: You know, those aren't the powers I would have ascribed to an Inhuman called "Sterilon".

But I do like that the powerless Black Bolt is the "voice" of the resistance. That's pretty clever.

Civil War #4: The various revelations about who's behind the war going on too long are in perfect keeping with the original Civil War, i.e. either unmotivated or cheap.

Planet Hulk 5: We find out the identity of the mysterious Hulk helping Steve Rogers, and I really didn't expect it to be that. Nor did I expect the series to have something to say about Hulkdom. Nice.

1602 - Witch Hunter Angela #3: Finding the experience a little disjointed, but worth it for the Marvel version of Romeo and Juliet.

Guardians of Knowhere #3: At the center, and intriguing debate between the believer and the skeptic that certainly resonates with the current American schism. But it's cushioned in a decompressed (Bendis of course) and pointless punch-up. Well, maybe that's coherent with the same theme.

Amazing Spider-Man - Renew Your Vows #5: Great ending to a great little series. Slott knows his Spider-Man. Won't spoil how he wins this impossible fight, because it's too good, but it's partly thanks to the power of family:

Inferno #5: Cool ending, with Javier Garron's hard designy lines making sure the carnage doesn't look offputtingly gory. Inferno had a lot of fun with X-Men villains I hate, like Mister Sinister and Madelyne Pryor. That makes me feel weird.

M.O.D.O.K. Assassin #5: MODOK in love remains fun and funny to the last issue. Best bit, the riff on Sentinels. Or Mordo's humiliation with an assist from Throg.

Ghost Racers #4: I've decided the Monster of Frankenstein cameo is a Death Race 2000 reference. Who's with me?

Hail Hydra #3: What the heck is wrong with this panel?

Was it drawn separately and had to be squeezed into the page this awkwardly, or is some kind of weird attempt at an odd perspective? YOU MAKE THE CALL!

E Is For Extinction #4: Death and rebirth in an existentialist battle for the universe that could - give or take the deaths of name characters - have been part of Morrison's run in the early 2000s. Good show, masters Burnham and Culver.

1872 #3: "You should not have put a target on your forehead." One of several great, great lines.

Inhumans - Attilan Rising #5: Ok, whoa. So Doom can reboot the domains of Battleworld at will? Is that what just happened? Holy crap. Rebellion really is futile, isn't it?

Weirdworld #4: Forest of the Man-Things! FOREST OF THE MAN-THINGS!!!

That's where you face your fears, obviously!

Captain Marvel and the Carol Corps #4: Deconnick ends her long run on Captain Marvel here, and she goes out with a bang. An ambiguous bang. Man, I'd love to see the very next panel. Damn. Could it maybe tie into the Secret Wars finale? I see white light, I'm taken back to the Last Days of both Loki and the Silver Surfer. Can the Carol Corps escape Doom's bubble universe?

Runaways #4: The Secret Wars set-up is perfect for this group of kids to survive and hop around the new Marvel multiverse once it's re-created, don't you think?

Siege #3: Kieron Gillen has so many fun ideas. Among them, your sound effect of the day:

A-Force #4: Hate to say it, but A-Force continues to disappoint. A lot of very ordinary grandstanding and superhero fighting and not a lot of character and soul. One exception, the little starry girl's gifts to the heroines.

Age of Apocalypse #4: Quite probably my LEAST favorite SW series, and it's not over. But there's a key death in this issue that made me happy. The sort of happiness that only comes from seeing a terrible 90s X-Men character die on-panel. It's a very specific kind of joy.

House of M #3: Both Age of Apocalypse and this series "suffer" from a change of artist. If that's because they were going to be late, why isn't the same strategy being adopted for the main Secret Wars series? I mean really, guys. Also, I can never get on board with the House of M version of the Scarlet Witch who can do anything.

Secret Wars Journal #5: Canadian horror writer-directors the Soska Sisters wrote one of the stories! Gotta tell @MartyLight! Their Night Nurse tale follows in the same footsteps as their American Mary. Wish her adventures had been a full mini-series.

The second story turns Millie the Model into Mill-E the Model Citizen, a cheerful Doombot meant to convert the outer provinces to Doom's rule. Quite amusing!

Spider-Verse #5: Really don't like Spider-Ham's characterization in this series. Ah well.

Infinity Gauntlet #4: I love the Nova Family too much for their thunder to be stolen by the Guardians of the Galaxy. Too many characters!

Armor Wars #5: All the explanations. It's fine. Wasn't my favorite series, but it resolves fairly well.

Guardians of Knowhere #4: So definitely leading into Secret Wars #8(?) and then the renewed Marvel U. Not gonna lie, it hurts this most pointless of mini-series. Bendis twiddles his thumbs while Deodato draws static freeze frames and obscures them with effects, and there's no real conclusion, just the real MU Peter Quill showing up out of nowhere (or, I guess, out of the Star-Lord/Kitty Pryde mini) and getting his old gang together. Hugely disappointing.

Spider-Island #4-5: Well that was certainly a different take on Venom. And in the Spider-Girl back-up, let's just say I rather like the Cinematic Universe's Hope Pym better than this one.

Siege #4: While this too leads into Secret Wars' finale, it DOES provide a satisfying ending. And a lot of cool ideas before we get to the last, inspiring page. And since Gillen essentially used the idea of a giant wall to justify mural-like two-page spreads by different guest artists throughout this series, here's Bill Sienkiewicz's:

1602 - Witch Hunter Angela #4: It was all a lovely, somewhat metatextual love story. Aside from his original appearance in Spawn, and a couple issues of her new Marvel series, I don't know very much about her. Is this the first time she's been portrayed as gay? And can that character trait stick around in the main MU (hopefully with Sarah)? A fun relationship.

Old Man Logan #5: The only SW mini to actually feature a scene in the new MU? Doesn't spoil how the event will end exactly, but leads into a new Old Man Logan series which takes place in standard continuity. An odd, but interesting finish to a series that's mostly been aimless. BENDISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

And FINALLY for the most recent issue of the core series, still two months late...

Secret Wars #6: Seeing as the project is late, I would have looked for scenes to cut so SW could have ended at #7. This is the issue that feels easiest to cut. It's about preparations, moving a few pieces around the board, but most of it feels unnecessary. There's a scene that's taken straight out of Siege #4. Thanos telling Ben Grimm the true story of the FF (which we know already) to contrast with the false history told by Sue Storm (which could have been a simple speech bubble). Two versions of Reed talk about not trusting each other. Two Spider-Men argue about the age of a burger. Valeria shows doubt. Minister Sinister plans to backstab Doom. Namor and T'Challa find artifacts left by Dr. Strange. The comic makes a meal of all of it, but it essentially restates information we already had or which could have been imparted more efficiently. Meanwhile, a character called the Prophet is assembling an army of Doom heretics, which you'd think is something you'd have seen more of in the various mini-series (unless he's Peter Quill?), but we haven't. So the new stuff is glossed over, and the old stuff he repeated. If the series weren't so late, I probably wouldn't say anything but...

What's left? Two issues of Secret Wars, that's key. Most of the minis have wrapped, except for 1872, A-Force, Age of Frickin' Apocalypse, Civil War, Hail Hydra, House of M, Infinity Gauntlet, Marvel Zombies, Last Days of Ms. Marvel, Squadron Sinister, Thors, Weirdworld, Where Monsters Dwell, X-Tinction Agenda, and Years of Future Past. Still quite a lot, and only 4 of those drop this week! I guess we still have miles to go.

And can someone tell me whether or not the New Marvel Universe books already out spoil Secret Wars' ending? Or are they safe to read?