Star Wars Recast

May the Fourth recasting of the original trilogy with different genre characters, yo!

Luke Skywalker. Son of powerful hero/villain with a mechanical arm everyone kind of hates, rebelling against fascist status quo.

Princess Leia. Disney princess with weird hair, orphaned as a baby, kept unaware of her true identity, who falls for a common thief with a heart of gold.

Han Solo. Outwardly uncaring cowboy who certainly doesn't seem like he wants to help out with your rebellion or anything. Shoots first, and faster than his shadow.

Darth Vader. Heavy-breathing, scarred, masked cyborg tyrant with ties to an ancient and evil religion.

Chewbacca. Friendly ape who travels around with the heroes.

R2-D2. Round unathropomorphic machine that goes bleep and bloop.

C-3PO. Annoying robot sidekick with metallic sheen and trademark voice.

Ben Kenobi. Older mentor figure that dies so that his young ward can learn to use his powers responsibly.

Bobba Fett. Cool bounty hunter who may or may not be artificial, and who quite frankly isn't all that effective.

Lando Calrissian. Guys, you don't change Lando. He's the one cool cat you keep in the mix no matter what.

Yoda. Green muppet with a croaky voice who lives in a swamp and is quite disappointed with your performance.

Jabba the Hutt. Disgusting bloated misogynistic monster who runs his empire from a palace, and fires underlings with extreme prejudice.

Recast the rest at your leisure, and may this farce be with you.