Krypto #63: Stunt Dog

From: Superboy #125 (December 1965)

The following story is about dicks being dicks to other dicks. You've been warned. It all starts when Superboy sees a big pothole in the street, goes home and finds Krypto with a bone in his mouth, then jumps to the conclusion that Krypto dug that hole. He didn't, but Superboy can only really understand Krypto's meaning when it suits the plot. So the poor dog gets punished for nothing.
In retaliation for having his cape taken away, Krypto lets himself get captured by the local dog catcher. I guess now Superboy will have to pay a fine. That'll teach 'im! But while there, an unscrupulous movie agent who specializes in pet stars, Dan Diamond, finds and recognizes him. He buys him from the pound and brings him 'round to Magno Studios where his ultimate fate is to be stuntdog and stand-in for a real star, another white dog by the totally marketable honest we mean it "Jowls". And Jowls is a supreme dick. After forcing Krypto to watch 14 of his movies, he basically spends all his time humiliating Krypto.
And Krypto won't raise a paw against him because he doesn't want to be a bully. Nice sentiment, but violence isn't the only form of bullying. Indeed, Jowls is a bully because he routinely humiliates the Super-Dog, and so Krypto must do the same to him. And opportunity presents itself when Superboy comes for his dog and has to make a deal with Diamond.
Contracted (or conscripted) for three stunts in a Wonder Dog movie, Krypto vows to both ruin the film and ruin Jowls' career to get back at the famous mutt and his agent. No bullying then. For example:
Yeah, THAT'S NOT HOW TAKES WORK! The director/producer/agent (what is this rinkydink studio?) would just film another take until he got it right. Or are the rules of the deal so stringent that "three stunts" means "three takes with a stunt in them"? I guess that's gotta be it, because Diamond abandons this sequence and attempts a completely different one.
Another ruined shot, another abandoned sequence, so third one's the charm, right? Superboy even offers to film this one IN ORBIT. Production value! Obviously, Jowls can't go to space before Laika, so it's gonna be a dummy in the capsule, right? That's the plan.
And here's where the humiliation comes in. An "airsick" Jowls gets the fright of his life, and comes back down to a pack of paparazzi:
And that's how both Jowls and Diamond found themselves on the unemployment line. Just another day of great deeds for the Super Duo!

No animals were harmed in the making of this story!



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