"I love to think of the permutations."
REVIEW: It's a lark that's half vacation for the regulars, half comic book thriller. With a villain who is essentially Rose and the Thorn with psychokinetic powers, you expect Alan Brennert's name at the top of the show. You don't, but that's because he and fellow staff writer Anne Collins put pseudonyms on the script as they were exiting the production, the result of a feud between them and the star. Gerard reportedly hated the crime plots and the humor, and this episode definitely showcases both those things.
IS the humor excessive? Well, I've been an opponent of Twiki's since the beginning, and he gets a big subplot here. As per the Love Boat set-up, each of our three leads has a possible romance (even Theo asks to be angled so he can watch a pretty girl at another table), and Twiki's is the sauciest. He meets Tina, a girl robot of very similar design, and it's suggested they're having sex. Star Wars-like, this is a world where some A.I. are more people than others, and joking about adjusting his programming aside, it seems Twiki and Tina can feel attraction and possibly love. The Mel Blanc sex talk is thus at an all-time high, but the relationship mostly seems to be dancing until your batteries run dry. I was generally find with it - corny, not objectionable - but it does eat up a lot of real estate. Wilma also has a tryst, attracting a rich playboy while posing as an heiress, and he sticks around to the end. This is so underdeveloped that I'm always asking, wait, who's that guy at their table, sharing their secrets?
Buck, as per our drinking game, is the one least likely to get it on despite being a big talker. He plays bodyguard to Miss Cosmos (a title awarded for perfect genetics, which is why the bad guys want to harvest her DNA for cash), but refuses her advances - so professional. If he'd been her constant companion and let Wilma lure the thieves out, they might not have had to cut it so close. His bond to Alison, the girl who is also the lethal Sabrina but doesn't know it, seems dead on arrival. She's got a gaslighting boyfriend - who is of course one of the villains, he's banging both versions of her - and is only looking for someone to talk to. The evidence is there, but Buck leaping to the conclusion that she and Sabrina are the same person is hard to believe - I mean, unless mutants with two bodies and personas is a THING, and I don't think it is... Maybe at this point, Buck believes ANYTHING is possible in the 25th Century. What needs to be clearer is that they're wearing the same clothes, for example, but the only scene where it IS clear is the one that has the leads talking about having no evidence. Eventually, they force Sabrina to give up control by shooting her with sonic screwdrivers (I don't love that sound either, Sabrina), and then we're told Alison will be fine "with a modicum of therapy". Huh. And she's already on her way while the heroes lounge by the pool, still on the cruise ship. Because we need a James Bond moment where it's clear they have some debauchery planned while making like their call to Dr. Huer is cracking up.
SPACE DISCO: Which is more disco? The fact that Tina replaces "biddie biddie biddie" with "booty booty booty", or that I hear "boogie boogie boogie"? In any case, this has a full-on discotheque with a light-up floor and two dance numbers (one with rope dancing and the other with barrel dancing). Twiki does the "bump". And of course, this is a space spoof of The Love Boat, which was big at the time.
STAR GAZING: Miss Cosmos is played by famous and tragic Playboy Playmate Dorothy Stratten (the grisly details of her murder are best left unmentioned so as not to detract from the enjoyment of this episode). Kimberly Beck (Alison) is a recognizable face from the 80s, having done loads of television, but also killing Jason in Friday the 13th: The (not so) Final Chapter. Her other self, Trisha Noble (Sabrina) would play Padmé's mom in the Star Wars prequels. Leigh McCloskey (Jalor) was mainly a soap actor, but he's the lead in Argento's Inferno. Grace Gaynor (voice of Tina) was married to one of the producers, but had also played the Penguin's sidekick Chickadee in the Batman '66 series, and a small role in both Fletch movies.
ALL THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE: A couple of Battlestar Galactica connections... Miss Cosmos' voice was looped by Anne Lockhart, who played Sheba on that series, and "rope dancing" was also used on that show's "War of the Gods Part II". Watch for the Lyran Queen's ship design to come back in a big way.
REWATCHABILITY: Medium - Fun enough Love Boat/James Bond hybrid even if robot sex scarcely bears thinking about.
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