"Nobody's ever put a dent in MY cortex!"
REVIEW: Blink and you'll miss it, but the Scrabble Salad title is the name of the derelict ship (another very ugly model) the Searcher finds and on which they find seven diminutive aliens. They mean well, but cause trouble aboard the Searcher. Meanwhile all Buck wants to do is get a night's sleep, as it's suggested he has a hangover (or depression?). If you can't tell, it's a comedy episode. Quite a stupid one, actually. And it makes the same mistake the obviously better "The Trouble with Tribbles" does, which is thinking that the hero being irritated by the episode and not wanting to participate in it is somehow funny. It's not, because we identify with the hero and so the episode is irritating to us as well. Jokes at the expense of little people. Crichton bashing the 20th Century because we had Women's Lib and the Holocaust (you're really equating those? seriously?). And unless we missed that the writer and production were sexist a-holes, the aliens talk about Wilma's "bumps" and start telekinetically ripping her clothes off. It's as uncomfortable as it sounds. But hahaha, the laughs.
Groan.
Let's talk about the seven (yes SEVEN) aliens for a moment. The absurd set up with 6 generals and 1 private who doesn't obey orders is amusing, but they don't make sense otherwise. Why are they so sexually attracted to Wilma when by their own statements, they aren't mammals and grow from eggs laid by a queen. It's suggested, she always lays seven eggs, and it's always them, by which point we're in the realm of fantasy. And indeed, these guys are so long-lived as to be immortal, and though it's mostly shown as telekinesis, they discuss their abilities as if they're a wishing power. Essentially, they can do whatever the script needs them to for maximum hi-jinks. And since the Searcher has no security, or really much of a crew, the imps can go anywhere and screw around with any system. The Searcher is such a shitty ship that it has a button with the sole purpose of causing damage to itself, and if you blow a fuse, half the systems go down (including internal communications which they don't use anyway, preferring to send Crichton to Buck's quarters to give him a message, creeping right up to his bed), and it goes off-course straight for a star when a small asteroid hits it. And can anyone aboard fix it when it's broken? Only Crichton, and he's damaged beyond repair too. You're telling me no human technician could solder three wires?! Early on, Goodfellow takes ages finding a fault, then it turns out a big freaking cable has melted. These guys shouldn't be in space. And there's an awful lot of talk about jumper cables for a show that once claimed future humanity knew nothing about electricity.
Wilma's dignity aside, the big threat here is to Crichton. His head is dented and his sponge-like positronic brain is damaged. Twiki - now his "father", if you'll remember - is quite upset, Mel Blanc showing real concern in his vocal stylings, which surprised me. We're now told Goodfellow merely helped him build the smug machine, which asks more questions than it answers about how A.I. reproduce in the 25th Century. Alas, I care more about Twiki's feelings than I do Crichton, a rather annoying addition to the show. Eventually, they put Twiki's brain in his son's body (a potential sacrifice because it could damage him), but miss out on making him Twiki-like. Instead he's just a freshly rebooted robot with access to Crichton's abilities/knowledge. It doesn't really make sense, but this version of him is able to fix the ship in the nick of time. Then the aliens think hard at both Twiki and Crichton's brain and make them both come through, as they were. I guess the production is really attached to the idea that Crichton is a valuable comedy personality. As for the coda where the aliens taught Goodfellow how to find his belief that anything is possible again, well, I didn't know he'd lost it. I'm with Buck, just let me get back to bed.
STAR GAZING: John Edward Allen (General Zoman) doesn't have a lot of credits, but one of them is Sebastian's replicant "toy" in Blade Runner. Billy Curtis (General Yoomak) played the short golden-skinned ambassador in Star Trek's "Journey to Babel". Of course, the biggest star here is Tony Cox (Private Zehdt) who would play Marcus in Bad Santa, and an Ewok in every Endor-related project.
REWATCHABILITY: Low - The worst episode of the series, and I'm counting the clip show!
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