Star Trek #1629: I Have No Bones Yet I Must Flee

CAPTAIN'S LOG: A dangerous creature escapes from a menagerie. Mariner looks for demotion, Rutherford for promotion, and Boimler for a room.

WHY WE LIKE IT: The worst room on the ship.

WHY WE DON'T: Sitcom premises feel forced.

REVIEW: After a bit of Romulan Lower Decks (betrayal jokes, mostly) to remind us of the season's mystery threat, we go to the opening sequence and then an amusing scene in which the super macho Shaxs and Ransom are wearing the same aerobics uniforms Troi and Crusher did on TNG, and Mariner (herself looking like she's cosplaying the Acrobat from the D&D cartoon) overhears their conversation and it sounds like Ransom won't let her be a Lieutenant for long. This is the first episode since the promotions and it will be addressed in different ways. For Mariner, since she's been promoted and invariably demoted before, it's about self-sabotage so that SHE feels in control of her destiny. By the end of the adventure, he'll have set her straight that he expects to endure her insubordination until she accepts her new role, because he knows she'll be a great officer. HOWEVER, I call foul on that opening moment. He says that Mariner won't be his problem for long. What he means is, she won't be A problem for long. The misunderstanding seems a bit forced.

The adventure itself plays on the concept of alien menageries which humans "are always getting trapped into". The Cerritos' job here is to get them out, very amiably. This too is a misunderstanding according to the vegetable zookeeper Narj. Along for the ride is green Ensign Gary, a Boimler stand-in. The menagerie could have been filled with Easter Eggs, but aside from an Aldebaran Serpent, I don't recognize anything, and the tribble-du-jour is the Moopsie, a cute Pokemon that escapes and starts sucking other beings' bones out. The title harks back to Harlan Ellison, so one expects some City on the Edge of Forever riff, alas no. Cute creature is super dangerous, it's not an uncommon plot, though it's more Doctor Who than Star Trek. Mariner and Narj are both suspected of letting it loose, which leads to a nice scene between Ransom and Mariner, but ultimately, it's the captive humans who want to take over the station (the crucial clue is visible the first time we see them, which is fair play). Ransom's solution is fun, and he makes a big (if temporary) sacrifice. The character is really, really growing on me.

The B-plot concerns Rutherford and the fact HE didn't get promoted last episode. So he tries to impress Billups by making incremental improvements to ship efficiency (a recurring gag), but is scooped every time by the douchey Ensign Livik, who I hope we see more of. Rutherford is such a happy, bouncy character, it's good to see him get angry from time to time, and this guy really punches his buttons. Note the "Tucker Tubes", named after an Enterprise character and a piece of design dating back to TOS (iconic enough that they have them in Airplane II: The Sequel as a joke). We still don't know what they do, but I like the tacked-on lore. Finally, just as Livik would win a second pip on his second day(!!), Tendi uses her new powers to order Rutherford to stay friends with her no matter the rank, and he lets slip that he shouldn't have refused all those OTHER promotions. Indeed, Rutherford has often been responsible for saving the ship - he doesn't deserve Harry Kim' fate! Billups is as surprised as anyone that you can just ask for what you deserve, and the stray pip goes to Rutherford after all. This is the most convivial, relaxed engineering in the fleet. (Except for that Livik.)

And then there's the storyline that got the first belly laugh from me of the season. Boimler finally gets quarters of his own (and I wish we'd seen Tendi's, I imagine she rooms with T'Lyn, or will it be Mariner?), walks in, and it's right in line with the nacelles, which cast a blinding red light into the windows. We're never quite sure what all those windows lead into, but that must happen for real, right? Or waking up to shuttles leaving the bay, etc. It makes sense, as does room mate Rutherford's easy solution. I'd thought of it myself, but it's funny that Boimler doesn't. He tries another room that's just as bad, and I could have had that gag keep going for several episodes.

LESSON: Sometimes, the answer is right in front of you.

REWATCHABILITY - Medium: The menageries is just okay, and the Ransom-Mariner conflict cheats, but there B- and C-plots are a lot of fun.

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