Monkey vs. Robot: The Musical

I'm a big James Kochalka fan and I've tried to collect everything he's done, especially the charming "Magic Boy & Girlfriend" autobiographical stuff. Magic Boy is frequently shown to be a musician, but it's only in Kissers that I discovered James Kochalka Superstar, Kochalka's punk band, thanks to a 17-track CD of tunes. Any good? Yeah! He has a terrible singing voice, a garage sound, and stupid lyrics. I love it!

A few weeks ago, I purchased Our Most Beloved, a CD/DVD combo with 25 tracks and 5 videos on a bonus DVD. I don't think I like it as much as Kissers, but it may yet grow on me. Here's a review, and in honor of (Inter)National Gorilla Suit Day, I'm gonna intersperse it with screenshots from the highlarious Monkey vs. Robot video! Rock on!Before getting to the music, you get a short Magic Boy comic strip that gives you an idea of how Kochalka writes his music. Anytime you see band member Jason X-12 drawn as an irritated dog, it's pure comedy gold. So I'Ve had my laugh, I pop the CD into the player...Twinkle Twinkle Ringo Star pays hommage to the Beatles, and I've never been a Beatles fan, so we're off to a rocky start, but it's only a minute and half (in fact, most tunes last between 1 and 2 minutes). Next up is Magic Finger, a peppy song that goes: "It's my dick, it's my dick, it's a magic finger pointing at all the pretty girls..." The kind of innocently bawdy fun that reminds me of his Fancy Froglin book. Damn it, now it's stuck in my head, I'm gonna be singing it under my breath all day.Track 3 is my favorite: Monkey vs. Robot! I really liked both graphic novels, never once pretentiously referring to them as the eternal struggle between nature and technology. It's just fun comics. Apes fighting robots. Don't muck it up with yer dang-blasted art history approach. I'm looking at you, Comics Journal! Anyway, the tune is great. Excerpts I love: "Monkey hate technology / Robot hate the Monkey / They will fight eternally!" "They both love their mother / Why must they hate each other?" "Why can't we just love each other? / Monkey and a Robot brother." I can listen to that shit all day!Pussy Gangster follows, just 30 seconds of hip-hop. Talk to the Wooky is less about Star Wars and more about a hairy, ugly girl. Show Respect to Michael Jackson may or may not be ironic... This is kind of the lull in the disc. Copenhagen China Box gets us back on track with a pretty ballad. It's not the genius of Monkey vs. Robot, of course, but they did make a video on location in Coppenhagen. Easy listening, Kochalka-style.Bad Astronaut sends us into space where our hero looks down on Earth to look at naked chicks. It's pretty good (as is the video). Breaking Stuff sounds like a nursery rhyme for ugly children, not unlikeable. Ozzy & I goes 80s electronic on our ass and pays high hommage to the rocker's better years. Kochalka then takes Ozzy's place as delirium sets in. It's the best kind of hero worship. It's like that time I thought I was John Byrne and wrote those awful issues of Wonder Woman. Oh wait, that wasn't me...Fifteen Teenage Girls ("crushed at my last concert, baby") is 23 seconds of the worst eulogy of all time. At the center of the album are a couple of live or faux-live songs lending good energy to the disc, including the screamarific I Am Rock and the hard ballad Ocean of Girls. Now it feels like the CD has really taken off. Track 14, President Kochalka, gets us back to the studio, one of Kochalka's better love songs. Very much has that Magic Boy & Girlfriend vibe.Hockey Monkey, immortalized as a cartoon video, all about kids playing hockey with a monkey while scientists, parents, teachers and the National Guard are out looking for them. We never do find out if the monkey gets shot or not. The song is a collaboration with the Zambonis, North America's favorite ALL-HOCKEY band. I'm not kidding.Corn on the Cob is cute, but abuses the drum machine. With Neigh-Neigh & Woo-Woo continues the descent into the CD's second lull, with admittedly stupid (the lyrics say so and I won't argue) horsie impressions. Keg Party has some rad organ sounds, but a near-absent melody. Much better is Put Down the Gun, sung to Kurt Cobain and accuses Courtney Love of having no soul. The hits keep coming with Frog on Top of the Skyscraper, a beautifully absurd story where the title frog tries to catch planes with its tongue. I don't even mind the farty electronic sounds."I fell in love with a high school girl and together we destroyed the world." So starts the last fifth of the album, with the hilariously inappropriate High School Honeys. Then comes Don't Trust Whitey (with a really creepy video), in which Kochalka reimagines himself as black... "I'm not Whitey, this is just a disguise." Not ready for the video again, but the tune is totally groovin'. The 1 minute Pee song isn't so good, but thankfully brief. Then comes the longest song on the album, Sleighride to Heck (with Jazzin' Hell providing back-up vocals). Let's just say it's a Christmas carol in which Satan is involved. Has a good New Year's Eve drinking song feel. The album winds down with one last piece, Even the Clouds Get High, which unfortunately recommends dope, and I can't get behind that.

Despite the finale having been written by Speedy, it's a fun album overall, with a lot of monkey fun. Which makes James Kochalka Superstar... GORILLA SUIT DAY APPROVED!

Comments