The only thing more stupid than a killer called Honey Bun is naming its story "A Killer Called Honey Bun." Or is it? In reality, that story is so mindbogglingly stupid, that "Honey Bun" may be the most reasonable thing about the comic. And if you've been following this little series of mine, you'll know this means only one thing: This is the best issue of Teen Titans yet! (Not the least of which because you can sing the cover to the tune of "Kill the Wabbit".)The issue this time is foreign exchange students. It seems that 60s small town America is apparently so xenophobic that the townsfolk of Lansford USA want those foreign exchange students out... BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY! Of course, the high schoolers are fine with diversity, but those darned adults... What is perhaps amusing today is that the lion's share of the hate is piled on the "European" Hans Vernick, who is probably German, over the Muslim boy. Times have changed even if people haven't.
But it's not just a matter of putting the hate on foreigners, a ridiculous jungle warfare machine nicknamed Honey Bun has been stolen from the town's only factory (think Lockheed Martin run by Bob Haney). And they blame Hans, the foreign "spy". The Titans are on the case, and they soon find Honey Bun being remotely controlled by Hans! So it's true! But when Dr. Lerner, a research scientist on the project arrives and shoots at Hans, the kid runs away. The Titans start the manhunt. They'll look for him in the parks, they'll look for him on the roads, they'll look for him in the alleys, they'll look for him... at the bottom of the river?
Well, you gotta use Aqualad SOMEhow.They finally find Hans about to be tarred and feathered by the spectacularly stupid townspeople and a tar-slinging fight ensues between these vigilantes and the Titans. A few pages before, I learned that Wonder Girl has a radio receiver imbedded in her magic bracelets. But that's not all:
She can magnetize them just by willing it... magnetize them to human flesh! Don't you just love it when Haney just makes it up as he goes along? Does Wonder Woman know she can probably do the same thing?So... a teen on the side of evil? Impossible, right? Indeed, Hans' story is that Honey Bun was stolen by Dr. Lerner (so why doesn't he just build one for the other side if he's on the project?). Hans has recognized him as one of his government's spies... So in Germany, spies are apparently so well-known, a 15-year-old might be able to recognize them on sight, while they are deep undercover. Anyway, Hans was just retrieving Honey Bun when the Titans happened along earlier. As a matter of fact, Lerner has stolen the machine again. We knew an adult was behind this!
The Titans find Honey Bun hidden inside a giant bear (if you must know: the bear is the town team's mascot, being carried on the back of a truck) and they prevent Lerner from taking it with him aboard a plane. The ensuing battle has its ups and downs, but my favorite bit is how Aqualad rides a fire hydrant stream!
My least favorite bit is how Robin defeats Honey Bun. He fills a small pneumatic derringer with sand and starts shooting a continuous stream of sand at Honey Bun's knee joint for what looks like several minutes! This makes the machine topple right over, which makes me think Lanford wasn't really gonna be instrumental in winning the Vietnam War (as history has shown).So what's more stupid? A killer called Honey Bun? Or the whole foreign exchange "problem"? Or the celebrity East German spy? Or the whole resolution? Or Aqualad hoping to find Hans swimming from the law? You decide, cuz I certainly can't.
On a side-note, if you Google "Killer Honey Bun", you'll find a girl whose internet handle is the title of this story. Geeks Looking for Love: To your engines.
Comments
You like comics, I draw a couple. Drop by kicklit.blogspot.com for the links if you like.
In general, webcomics like Applegeeks and Hsu and Chan sumo-throw old-gaurds-trying-to-be-hip like the one above right off the salt. You should be checking those out, for free.