In the black corner, in 1967... it's Batman and the Metal Men, written by Bob Haney and drawn by Ross Andru and Mike Esposito, Brave and the Bold #74, Rampant Run the Robots!
While in the orange corner, in 1974... The Thing and Dr. Strange, written by Steve Gerber and drawn by George Tuska and Mike Esposito, Marvel Two-in-One #6, Death-Song of Destiny!
Looks like Mike Esposito is fighting his own inking... FROM ACROSS TIME!!!!!!! (DING DING DING!)
The Stars
Bob Haney is in good form here, as I was thinking of scanning in the first three pages of the story in their entirety. It starts with some acrobatic padding as Batman defies "the law of centrifugal force!"
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But I must say the Thing doesn't do a whole lot better, basically getting his ass handed to him by a giant rodent. However, he gets some points for still being a beloved figure in his old neighbourhood, where a kindly old lady says he hasn't changed a bit since he was a boy - still the same gentle blue eyes. Awww. Uh-oh.
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The Guests
The Metal Men have individual personalities and abilities, and that's well exploited here. Tina (Platinum) gets to flirt, cry and slice an evil robot into bits. Iron gets to be strong. Tin gets to stutter and fawn over Batman like the fanboy he's meant to represent. Lead is dumb and well-shielded. Mercury is liquid and snarky. And Gold is the other guy.
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Dr. Strange, the Sorcerer Supreme, the Master of the Mystic Arts... and Voyeur with a Third Eye?
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The Villains
Gotham City is in the grip of a robot-fueled crime spree, and Haney (or perhaps Andru) has fun creating some outlandish designs, like say, waterski-bots:
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There's no clear villain in Marvel Two-in-One though. The story begins in the New York subway when Strange and his apprentice Clea witness a young girl getting run over by a train and exploding into a shower of glitter. The girl leaves a magic harmonica in Strange's care and posthumously reveals herself to be an incarnation of Destiny. She's affected everyone who saw her "die" by turning their lives into Freudian pablum, apparently. That giant rat I keep referring to, by the way? Insecurity. I'm sure you can look it up in some dream interpretation book for me.
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Odds vs. Ends
From Brave and the Bold:
The whole thing starts out at an International Robot Exposition in Gotham. This is strange in itself, but moreso because the sign is bilingual, English/French. Is Gotham in Canada?
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From Marvel Two-in-One:
Steve Gerber still seems to be writing this book against his will. The whole idea of a mystical even touching the lives of ordinary people in a new agey, self-help book kind of a way is straight out of his Man-Thing stories. -2 points
Panel placement is confusing on at least two occasions, and the harmonica's secret magic word is mispelled at least once (Clestia instead of Celestia), which is frankly unforgiveable from editor Roy Thomas. -1 point
Check out that subway scene and see if you can spot the ads for cigarettes and booze in this Code-approved comic. Don't be distracted by how creepy Stephen Strange looks.
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Farewells and Scoring
Batman gets a most Friendly Farewell. Not only does he make an about-face regarding robots and their rights ("They're people too!"), but he gets a kiss from Tina as well!
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Ben Grimm doesn't get an Unfriendly Farewell per se, since the story is to be continued, but you have to read between the lines.
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Ben: "Yeah [I can plainly see that]." His expression says it all, really. +1 point
Checking with the judges and... It's a landslide for the Metal Men who seem to have piled up on Dr. "Not a man of action" Strange 17 to 9! Ouch! But that's what Batman needed to swing the score back to a tie. Will no hero take a definite lead?!?
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