Batman and the Outsiders #0: Pages 1-2

Now remember! This Sneak Preview was meant to be the hook to get you reading the Batman and the Outsiders monthly. I mention this only to make you marvel at how horrendously bad the story is. Mike Barr has never heard the expression "putting your best foot forward".How do you know the crime rate is up? When the entire town is at the same angle as the villains' headquarters in the old Batman TV show.
Ladies and gentlemen, the villain of the piece: Miklos! Already captured, suicidal Greek terrorist! Can the Outsiders prevent him from committing murder... ON HIMSELF?!?
And to make Miklos even more fearsome, he doesn't even trust himself to keep his own secrets under interrogation. "Kill me before I give you up!" It's not like the police can torture prisoners, can it? Well, this IS Gotham, I suppose. And it DOES sound like Gordon is going to get the bamboo shoots there.
Shockingly, Gordon's blood pressure must be through the roof if Haggarty can see it. It's Scanners all over again. It's a wonder Gordon can read his watch with his pulse pounding away like that.
"I wish Batman were here..." instead of that spray-painted shadow. Good thing criminals are a cowardly lot. If it's good enough for crows...

And the poetic genius of Mike W. Barr:
The story actually gets better if you imagine Giant Black Pants Administrator as the villain. "Move it, cripples! The cafeteria closes in 5 minutes! No room service for you!"
Giant Black Pants Administrator will CRUSH YOUR LORRY!!! (Yes, he's British.)
Unfortunately, like Batman himself, he doesn't appear much in the story. Instead, we present Miklos' terrorist cell. Their nefarious goal: To kill themselves and their leader. If terrorism was only this easy to stamp out.

Next: The Outsiders. Maybe. I THINK they're in this story.


The Mutt said...

Who needs the outsiders? Aparo's version of Commissioner Gordon is one of the best things in comic book history!


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