Aquaman Laughs at Legacy Heroes

AQUAMAN #10, DC Comics, July 1995
Aquaman keeps rocking your world all week, and here's another example of his rockitude. Aquaman #10 has him up against one of the most powerful humans on Earth: Green Lantern. Ok, it's that putz, the replacement GL, Kyle Rayner. Like almost every guy that's ever replaced a comics legend, he sucks. Spider-Clone? Sucked. Azbats? Sucked. Superboy and Man of Steel. Didn't suck, but were hardly Superman, were they? USAgent version of Captain America? Sucked. Green Lantern was no exception*. Still, he's got that ring MINUS the yellow impurity, so there's nothing that can really stop this guy.

Except Aquaman, you mean. The story's a simple one: The world's oldest shark has come to pay his respects to Aquaman before its death. Unfortunately, the "Old One" has taken a bite out of some nitwit that tried to skewer him with a harpoon (non-fatal), so Lil'Green Lantern gets the bright idea to kill the "man-eater". Bad move, GL. You're out of your depth, hehehe.

Here's how Aquaman gets involved, in a very cool opening scene that's all about "talking to the fishes". Yes, I'm gonna keep ramming these down your throat until you admit that this power is cool. Now, go out and rent the Blue Planet documentary series. Fish are cool. And dangerous. Where was I? Oh, yeah, that opening scene:
Meanwhile, there's a subplot going on back in Atlantis in which Aquaman's illegitimate son survives an assassination attempt by Atlantis' regent. Illegitimate you say? Yes, that's right. Aquaman is the Captain Kirk of the Seven Seas. Superman doesn't have a son**. Batman doesn't have a son***. Flash doesn't have a son****. You know why? Those guys don't have as much sex as Aquaman does. Aquaman is one sexy sea stud.

But the biggest point to make about how much Aquaman rocks is of course how he does in battle. Just how do you beat a guy who wears the "most powerful weapon in the universe", a ring that can do anything he can think of? Here's how:
Result:
(Note the new hook design that replaced the harpoon. Not as macho, but much more versatile.) I think it's clear who rocks the boat here once again.
*With the exception of John Stewart.
**Except in the last movie. Which sucked.
***Except in Grant Morrison's Son of Batman, but Grant Morrison knows how to make a character rock.
****Ok, ok, they all do. But this is recycled material from back when they DIDN'T. At least I didn't mention Green Arrow.

10 comments:

cardboardjudas said...

I always loved Califore's art in this series (i think that's his name) he did a fantastic job everytime it seemed.

snell said...

Oh, c'mon...even Grant Morrison can't make the Son of Batman nonsense not suck...

Siskoid said...

No, I simply meant that Morrison knows that super-fertility RAWKS!

jayunderscorezero said...

The Clone Saga even managed to mix the themes of a superhero replacement and a superhero having a child. You must have really loved that one, I'll bet.

SallyP said...

Oh Kyle. Poor sweet, stupid Kyle. I love the fact that people are always so surprised when Aquaman acts badassed. Shouldn't they realize that he's actually pretty damned amazing?

Siskoid said...

Jay: I'd dropped all Marvel titles by then, but I laughed from afar!

Sally: It's what makes Kyle endearing actually. He's the ultimate clueless rookie.

LiamKav said...

(Note, this post is from 2011. Is there a way of turning on the dates of postings? Just cause the time isn't too useful)

"Oh, c'mon...even Grant Morrison can't make the Son of Batman nonsense not suck..."

We were all thinking it at the time. And we were all wrong. So very wrong.

I'm curious Siskoid: Do you really hate Kyle? Or has your opinion changed, like an awful log of the blogosphere, to sticking Hal at the very, very bottom of your "My Favourite Green Lanters" list?

Siskoid said...

I never gave the comments timestamp any thought. How about now?

As for Kyle, no I don't hate him. The tone of my posts often play with the general opinion of readers though, so if it's a big joke that Kyle sucks, well then, I'm gonna pay lip service to that.

Or it might be more true to say that I disliked Ron Marz' writing on Green Lantern.

LiamKav said...

Yay! No longer will I not know that I'm replying to a comment left years ago!

I do agree with how Kyle replaced Hal... it was very "HERE IS OUR NEW YOUNG CHARACTER WHO YOU WILL LOVE!" It's then ironic that DC made pretty much the exact same mistake when they bought Hal back by saying "HERE IS HAL BACK YOU WILL LOVE HIM BECAUSE HE IS AWESOME!"

I like Kyle, but I have most exposure to him throgh Morrison's JLA, so he's bound to come off well.

Siskoid said...

That's it exactly.

 

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