Household Horror

WEIRD WAR TALES #3, DC Comics/Vertigo, August 1997
In 1997, Vertigo came out with an anthology series based on the old Weird War Tales comic that ran such wonderful stuff as G.I. Robot and the Creature Commandos. Wonderful in a totally kitsch way, of course. It was all "what if a thawed-out Viking fought in World War II?" kinda stuff.

Issue 3 of the Vertigo version features three short stories, including a moody WWI tale by Paul Jenkins and George Pratt, and an ironic, though predictable, sniper story taking place in Sarajevo by Joel Rose and Eric Cherry. Both are good, but neither is properly "weird". Thankfully, the first story in the book is by Grant Morrison and frequent collaborator Frank Quitely. Now we're talking!

"New Toys" is Morrison's take on "Toy Story". Toys are alive, but they don't lead fun lives. Toy soldiers lead harrowing lives in the service and war is indeed "Hell". Here are a few panels to wet your appetite:
But our boy Joe is airlifted out of the conflict and gets to meet a nice woman and settle down. Don't tell me you've never done this kind of thing with your action figures.
But when he finds out about the new toys, he runs back to his outfit. Will they listen? I won't tell you the secret of the new toys, but I'll tell you this: They're a damn sight creepier than frickin' Buzz Lightyear!

Still... I kinda miss the Creature Commandos...


Jayunderscorezero said...

Consider my appetite truly whetted. I need to know what those new toys are!!


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