Spaceknight Saturdays: Fatal Attraction

As much as I was enjoying Rom's foray into outer space, the average reader can only take so many stories in a row where each and every character speaks in cod Shakespearian (which is why Stan Lee set Thor in modern New York). So it's back to Earth for the Spaceknight and his galpal, Starshine!

So once the Spaceknights regroup and make a nice relief sculpture in an asteroid, Starshine uses her light powers to send everyone to where they might be most needed.
And for her, that means Earth with Rom. But why?
1) She's torched the Wraiths in her corner of the universe but good. 2) She's always been in love with Rom! Yes, he's quite the ladies' man.

The Starknights return to Clairton where, as you might remember, the entire population has been replaced by Dire Wraiths, including a rather saucier Brandy Clark.
Ooh, is that a green-eyed monster I see? Starshine does her best to lay the foundation, playing on Rom's inner Surfer. "Hey, we're both robots monsters, how 'bout we do it?"
Do they? Don't they? I'm afraid to interpret the Wraith-Clark household's reaction.

Later, Rom and Starshine are inspecting their model of Earth where, despite what Clairton's citizens have said, detects a Wraith presence there. Personally, I'm more worried about my house sinking into the ocean. Oh Canada, why don't you ever get respect from comic book artists?
Simultaneously, Clairton is attacked by some strange force from below the ground, which is sucking them down into its bowels!
That'll teach the Wraiths to take the places of a superhero's supporting cast. Magnets for trouble, all of them. Rom's sure it's the Wraith threat (ha!) and prepares to go into battle. Steve and Brandy want to come along with confiscated Wraith weapons, but the Spaceknight doesn't want anything to do with it. Cue Starshine's dirty, dirty thoughts:
From slightly obsessive to almost murderous:
To OUTRIGHT murderous, selecting scapegoats and all:
Her assassination plans are interrupted by the attack of a Murder Mole (speaking of green-eyed monsters) and then, Subterraneans, all of which are easily dispatched by bright lights. Rom ascertains that they are indeed native to Earth, so he admonishes Starshine not to harm them.
That choke hold, by the way, causes no harm. What does cause harm is Wraith weapons:
Comics are educational: It takes a certain amount of intelligence to scream. Steve and Brandy are the only Wraiths in Clairton who haven't been sucked into the ground, but they're also the most evil. Their plan is to creep up on the Spaceknights, let them handle the threat and then pounce on whoever's left standing. That threat, by the way, comes from none other than the Mole Man. How do you beat the king of the underworld? Uhm... bright light?
Also: Diplomacy. Turns out Mole Man is on the side of good here. He's found the captured Clairtonites, helped them escape their Wraith cell and is helping them defeat the Wraiths by sucking them into the earth and leaving them to be soundly beaten with sticks.
Trouncing Dire Wraiths: The Mole Man's help. The look on Rom's face? Priceless.

And now: Violence.
Evil Steve and Brandy turn the corner and kill Starshine before she even has the chance to boil Brandy's pet rabbit! But she won't go out without screwing people over: She blows Rom's secret right out of the water and tells everyone he's in love with Brandy. And Steve's standing right there! He picks up the Wraith gun like he's gonna simplify his love life with it, but...
...he can't do it. Oh the drama!!

4 comments:

De said...

Huh. What was the Mole Man doing underneath West Virginia?

Siskoid said...

He's under EVERYWHERE!

Martin Léger said...

I live there too, sad...

Doctor Mi said...

The map is after global warming has flooded Atlantic Canada, see?
;-)
It looks more like Russia put on top of the US, doesn't it?

 

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