When Topless Robot posted Iron Man's 10 Most Ridiculous Armors yesterday, a number of people jumped in criticizing. Where was the Santa Suit? Where was the nose? What was the classic look flexi armor doing there? So here are some forgotten gems, both good and bad.
My Personal 5 Most Ridiculous
5. The Santa Suit
I know you like to call it the Silver Sentinel, but too me, it'll always smell like Christmas. Bulky enough to carry presents, Iron Man should never have given up the gold.
4. Egyptian Iron Man
In a world created by the Sphinx in New Warriors #11-12, he defended New Egypt with the power of his flat top and pharaoh beard.
3. Heroes Reborn Iron Man
I know Topless Robot already did this one, but it bears repeating. Giant exhaust pipes. Vulnerable wiring at every articulation point. Look over function. The SUV of Iron Man armors (and I mean that in a bad, rollover risk, way).
2. The nose
Looking less like the Tin Man than the Scarecrow, the Iron Nose was just THE worst idea in all of Iron Man history. (Well, a close second to teenage Tony Stark. Oh yeah, and I gotta factor in Civil War in there. Anyway, ONE of the worst ideas in Iron Man history.) Did Tony really need to smell stuff or what?
1. Golden Oldie
You want to talk ridiculous, then you have to come to What If #34 where Aunt May becomes Iron Man. Or else you're not really trying.
My Personal 5 Favorites
Since "best" is subjective anyway, I'm not making the claim that these are. They're just my favorites.
5. Stealth Armor
Respectfully disagreeing with Topless Robot's claims, a stealth armor with weaker weapons isn't a ridiculous notion. It has to have a weaker energy signature to get under radar. Plus, at the time, the cool black finish gave us a break from the Christmas look.
4. Timeslip Iron Man
Steampunk Iron Man? Guy Davis artwork? I am THERE. (As previously seen on this very blog.)
3. Movie Iron ManHey, they really made it seem like it could exist, so yeah, it belongs on this list. If it wasn't so short, I'd have given love to the Mark I as well (bonus points for being built inside Osama's cave).
2. Classic Red and GoldIt's the one I grew up with, and damn it, it's still Tony Stark's best look. I may like the IDEA that he continually tweaks his armor, but when it comes to iconic superheroes, this is how I prefer him. After this, it gets a little too techie or video gamey for my tastes. But wait, if that's Tony's best armor, what have I kept for #1?
1. Iron Man 2020
It's not one of Tony's armors. His descendant Arno Stark was quite a bad dude, and as soon as I saw his toothy helmet at the end of Machine Man #2 with artwork by Barry Windsor-Smith, I was hooked. That is truly badass.
0. Manga Iron Man
Unable to make my mind up about an Iron Man made of combined Avengers vehicles. Stupid yet awesomely appropriate. Yay or nay? I'm going to have to go with "depends on your personal love of Voltron".
What are your favorites and unfavorites?
And check out Bob Layton's Best and Worst list. Even if he wasn't THE Iron Man artist, he'd still be right.