Top 5 Comic Book Movies Alan Moore Wants His Name Off Of

After taking his name off both V for Vendetta and now Watchmen (but not From Hell or League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?!?), I have no doubt that he will keep being a crank about everything he's ever written being sent to the silver screen. Even if he options it out himself. It's just his way. It's a, what do you call it, cultural thing. Witches and true names and all that.

So what upcoming Alan Moore movies will he disavow? All of them! But here's the Top 5.

5. Swamp Thing: The Anatomy LessonSwampy's triumphant return to the big screen will scare the bejeezus out of you, but he'll have to make do with being created by Len Wein & Berni Wrightson, relaunching Wein's career but good. In any case, the fanboys on the Internet will make sure the world knows who's responsible for the Fight Club reveal that Alec is a plant who only thinks it's a man (there, I've just done it). Moore doesn't own the character, so he can't do a damn thing to stop it, just like no one could stop the media freight train that was The Return of Swamp Thing.

4. Marvelman (US title: Miracleman)
Hey, as soon as Moore heard they were Americanizing the title to escape a lawsuit from Marvel Studios, he dropped his name from the ticket. Like he needed an excuse. And after all the trouble the studio went to to disentangle the copyright issues (especially with that twit Todd MacFarlane - he keeps the gross-out horror action figure rights). You know, Neil Gaiman was pretty nice about the movie not using the Andy Warhol robot, but then, he's a bit of a media whore compared to Moore.








3. Top 10
Surprised to see Top 10 in the Top 5? You shouldn't be. We have the technology to recreate this world. And if Watchmen proves that money can be spent dutifully recreating the deconstruction of comic book superhero archetypes, then the market can take the massive referential in-joke that is Top 10. Moore takes his name off the project when the studio announces that instead of superhero cops in a city full of superheroes, Top 10 would be about ordinary cops in a city full of ordinary people. Hey, it worked for Wanted.






2. Chris Sprouse's Tom Strong
Alan Moore's hyper-pulp legacy will have to remain with LXG, because of some disagreement about the blimps or something.

LXG.

Yeah, that's great, Alan.

Talk about an ugly stepchild.









1. Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?
The next Superman movie has to kill the character as imagined by Richard Donner. It has to. Chosen template: This. Gene Hackman with a Brainiac skull grafted to his head. Christopher Reeve act-alike Brandon Routh gold kryptonited into obsolescence. Gilbert Gottfried as the evil Mxyzptlk. And everybody else DIES. In 10 years, we can start fresh without the damn ghost of Donner in the public psyche. Of course, Alan Moore doesn't want to be included, not after Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader stole his title and turned it into a Sandman: The Wake.

Oh Alan, see what selling out brought you?

2 comments:

Jayunderscorezero said...

Aw, I still have a soft spot for that LXG film.

MOCK! said...

I think I agree with " Jayunderscorezero". I view the movie as a different adventure with a different group than I was able to read about. Looking at it like that makes it worth leaving on in the background while I correct papers on a Sunday afternoon. I also do that with "Wing Commander" so maybe it is best if I just shut up.

 

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