Why I'd Rather Be Living in the Village

Don't get me wrong, I love my town. Moncton is just big enough to have everything I want, yet small enough that I can pretty much walk anywhere I really need to get to, or else not be much of a cab ride away. I have a deep, patriotic connection to it. However, even I can't remain blind to the charms of the Village from the much-loved Prisoner series. I mean, look at the perks!

Everyone is so polite
"Be seeing you" is more than just a greeting, it's a way of life in the Village. No more crossing the street to avoid saying hi to a pedestrian coming down the sidewalk in the opposite direction. No more wondering if that person will take your greeting in either official language as an insult. "Be seeing you." Yes, you will, many times. The person watching, tailing or stalking you will show up again and again. Your rapport with him/her/them will grow and blossom. (And hey, the first person #6 meets addresses him in French - "it's international" - so I'm covered both ways.)

A groovy appartment
No one pays rent in the Village. You're assigned a cool, mod apartment or house and aside from everything being bugged, everything looks real nice. I like where I live now, but do I have a sexy personal maid? No I do not.

Golf carts
I don't drive. Never have. No driver's permit. Not a big deal in the Village. You don't need a license to drive a golf cart, right? I'm sure you don't.

Giant board games
That's the giant chess, but I'm sure I could get the other Villagers to play other games. Giant Risk. Giant Hnefatafl. Giant Cosmic Encounter. Giant Battletech. AD&D with giant miniatures. I bet I'd be real popular. As much as I am now. At least!

The beach front
The Village has a beach! How perfect is that? No more waiting for a drive to go 25 minutes out of town just to hunt for hermit crabs and make them fight in a Mason jar! I'll have to watch for those beach balls though.

Now all I need to do is become a spy, get hold of information I shouldn't know and get myself "resigned". Piece of cake! Be seeing you...

Comments

De said…
It wouldn't surprise me if the CIA referred to extraordinary rendition as being sent to the "Village."
March 18, 2009 at 9:17 AM
Anonymous said…
If putting crabs in a mason jar is your idea of entertainment where you live - your a sicko. Hermit crabs do any harm to you? No, I think not. They do help the environment though.You seem to have no respect for life. People like you who get a kick out of watching animals, crabs, etc fight ought to be put in a mason jar w/the lid on tight.
March 18, 2009 at 4:34 PM
Siskoid said…
I send them back into the wild before I leave. Good friends.

Some of them still write!
March 18, 2009 at 4:42 PM
chiasaur11 said…
Besides, we all know crabs put people in mason jars whenever they get a chance. It's just nature's way.

(What If is delayed due to TV week, right?)
March 19, 2009 at 12:25 AM
Post a Comment