Saturday, May 30, 2009

Spaceknight Saturdays: Beaverkill!

My first issue of Rom Spaceknight, as you know, was Rom #49. My second was #57, which I'll cover next week, because the cover prominently featured Canada's premiere super-team, Alpha Flight. But wait, you say, #56 does too. Yes, but my first issue of Alpha Flight was #12, which came out on the same month as this issue. So it wasn't until the next month that I had become an Alpha fan (and yes, that means Rom #57 was also my second Alpha Flight comic).

But enough with the history. The only important thing to remember here is that I am a proud Canadian, and Rom's coming to my house. Well, not my house, because I live in New Brunswick, and he's in Ontario. Where exactly? A polluted industrial town called Beaver Falls in the middle of Beaverkill Valley. Real or fictional? Well, there IS a Beaver Falls in Ontario.
But it's near Laird on the Canada/US border, and not in "Beaverkill Valley". If you're looking for a Beaverkill Valley, you'll find one in upstate New York. See, the beaver is our national animal. We don't kill beavers. Well, we do, but we don't advertise it. (See the Bonus PR Lessons feature at the end of this article for more tips on how to sell yourself.) There IS a Beaver Lake in Ontario, but it's miles away and a well-advertized fishing spot, not this polluted no-fish zone.
Marrina's swimming in those "black waters" when she finds glowing fish eggs. She, Shaman, Sasquatch and Snowbird are investigating odd reports at the government's behest. And then the town is attacked by Creatures of the Black Lagoon.
Once the Spaceknights arrive, they're able to determine that these are the marine equivalent of Hellhounds.
Fish? Fish. Polar Bear Snowbird can't believe her luck.
Shaman casts a spell that reverts the creatures to their natural forms, but oops! They can't live in that polluted water!
Truly, Man is the greatest monster of all!

Well, actually, Dire Wraiths still take the cake. Sure, Beaver Falls polluted the waters, but it's the Wraiths that introduced a powerful, infectious toxin into the water (Marrina goes crazy a couple times, but that's her usual behavior... I'm not sure why she wasn't affected). Furthermore, the Hellfish were just a distraction, see, and the Wraiths were really planning to burst the dam and send those waters flowing into the world's water supply.
No! The beavers!


(All lessons from the hospital massacre aftermath.)

Doing things wrong: If you're trying to keep the public from knowing alien blood turned their loved ones into rampaging monsters that had to be put down, secure the sheets!
Doing things right: You might think Rom's mode of speaking is over the top (as is the Silver Surfer's, Thor's, etc.), but it good P.R.
Rick Jones - buys everything TV tells him to.

Next week: The Canadian Invasion.


Anonymous said...

That's also the second and last story of Marrina as a normal Alpha Flight's member, before she get puberty and all her killer Plodex hormones start to hit!


Siskoid said...

Probably part and parcel of why I usually fail to remember she was a member.

Jake said...

That cover of Marina in the water with Dire Wraith arms about to grab her from behind really needs a less suggestive title. I mean... "Enter Alpha Flight"?

Michael May said...

YES! *Does the Alpha Flight dance*

I've been waiting for you to get to these two issues.