1001 Things I Will Not Do When I Play RPGs (Excerpts)

All based on true events.

1. I will not kick the GM out of my house during a game.

27. I will not make swords and arrows have the same sound effects as mech lasers and missiles.

125. I will not refuse to play a game on the single basis that "it isn't D&D".

250. I will not request to play a race not covered in the rules, nor will I imply that I will not participate otherwise.

251. I will not make such requests for my girlfriend either.

379. Samurai armor is not appropriate attire for a modern era game.

448. If the plane is crashing, I will not stay aboard and play guitar while the rest of the characters parachute out.

459. Certainly not because I think it's "funny".

460. Or because my character is based on a single silly premise which is more important than any standards of human behavior.

593. Disembodied heads - even those of Nazis - are not meant to become ventriloquist dummies just so I can use that skill on my character sheet.

665. I will not take out every manual in the collection until I find an optional rule that proves my point.

666. Certainly not the AD&D 1st ed. Manual of the Planes.

801. Why would I keep the bloody remains of smaller humanoid species in Mason jars? Answer: I would not.

928. I will not make the GM uncomfortable by putting the moves on him every time he plays a female NPC.

1001. I will not ask for the game to be moved to a Sunday morning "because it's the only time I can make it" and then not show up, especially if everyone else has a hangover.

Excerpts from 1001 Things I Will Not Do When I GM


Anonymous said...

448. If the plane is crashing, I will not stay aboard and play guitar while the rest of the characters parachute out

That was definitely the WORSE GAME EVER.

Siskoid said...

Pretty bad when the involved players feel the need to remain anonymous.


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